feel so down, cant make things better

[mandie]

Hi

Im not sure why im writing this.

I just feel so down and i just dont no what to do

I have been signed off work since 2008 due to my boss giving me a hard time and causing my panick attacks.

My work have been no support whatsoever, and i feel had they bothered to keep in contact with me while i was off, maybe i could of gone back to work sooner.

Iv been to occupational health like they suggested and they have told my work it would not be in my best interest to go back.

Im not going to resign from my job, because i feel i have been pushed out of my job. its to long to go into, but i have felt isolated for quite a few years there and in the end everything got to much.

I feel like i cant move on while this is hanging over me.

I have had cbt, i am seeing a physcologist now, but my panick attacks are coming back again and i find myself cutting off from everything.

I have trouble going into supermarkets and anywhere with big crowds.

My dad has been very ill for the past 18 months and that has been very stressful

Im a single parent with a 9 year old and i feel im letting her down. I try not to show how im feeling in front of her but lately i dont want to do anything.

I need to sort my life out and i no only i can do that, but i dont no where to start

everything is a big effort for me at the moment, for instance, even keeping my home clean is hard, i dont have the energy or enthusiasm for anything.

Im really tearful which isnt like me and i just cant see how things will get any better.

there are other things going on which are prob making things worse but i think iv gone on enough!

My anxiety is through the roof, im sitting here feeling really liteheaded and spaced out. I just want to feel right again

love mandie x

[gypsywomen]

i feel for you have you seen a doctersounds like you need help ,and some meds ,, bit of advice even thou you dont feel like doing anything try even doing a small job ,, it helps the worst thing we can do is give in ,i now its hard ,but we have to try ,.but also have word with your docter hun xx

[mandie]

Thanks gypsy

my dr has been great, iv been on 100mg sertraline but the physcologist i saw before xmas told me to drop to 50mg and we will start again and then see how i get on!!!!!

I do tend to play down how i feel to my dr, i dont no why i do, probably cause i feel like im a failure for not coping

i just feel like a useless person

mandie x

[den68]

Hi Mandie

you need to take really small steps at a time. Every step you take is a massive achievment and try to focus on the what you have done that helps build you up. Go and see your gp as well. Good luck

Denise

[marie1974]

Hi Mandie, i can really relate to some of what you say, i am mum to 3, 2 boys and a girl, 13, 10 and 5 and although i have a partner, its hard work, i have awful anxiety and mild dep and lately have felt just like you, withdrawing myself and buiding up my barriers even higher, i just want to stay at home, in my safe place, yet another part of me is saying, go and do more, there is so much you want to do.

I have had alot of stresses which havent helped,, money included and i think we just have to try and make small changes, realistic ones, i walk daily, even when i dont want too, it keeps me sane and if i feeling bad if def lifts my mood, as exercise does.

i hate housework, but once i force myself into it and i start to see a clean house, i quite enjoy it and that makes me feel happier, as for your daughter dont worry, we all worry we not doing enough etc, we can only do our best.

Mayb if you really feel low, just curl up on sofa with her and watch a movie together or read or play a game or quiz together, she will enjoy that cos she with you.

I honestly know how you feel and if you need anymone to talk you, please feel free to pm me. hugs xxx

[mandie]

Thank u everyne for your replies

it makes such a difference to have lovely people on here who understand

love mandie x