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Thread: Am I recovering ????

  1. #1

    Am I recovering ????

    Hi all,
    I have been quite poorly for the last three weeks (since xmas). I am currently on long term 40mg Seroxat but have had a couple of blips in the past while being on them - my Dr has expalined that the medication can be over ridden with much stress. I finally went to the Dr yesterday (1st visit as I knew what was going on but also a little afraid to admit it) but he was great and he has referred me for CBT. He doesn't want to put me through the anxiety of changing my medication yet but still assured me that I have not become immune to it - as I was afraid of. I am going through the usual up and down days and the feeling of 'what's the point' is fading although still there in the background. Still worrying about how I will feel when I get up in the morning. I am feeling more relaxed although a little flat and 'what now ?'. Through my self help with Dr Weekes books, I know this is a normal feeling. Still struggling to be 'me'. Does anyone else feel or have felt like this ? I have come through many episodes of depression when my stress levels have gone over and above but it's always hard to see the end of it ! I had such an awful day yesterday and had nothing but 'what's the point' and 'I am never going to get better' thoughts in my head yet I can't remember how bad I felt? Is that wierd ? I am worrying because I am starting to feel better !!!! I am not working at the moment - been accepted for a job with a bank after being made redundant last year but I am waiting for a start date until all the checks etc have been done - guess that's a good thing really as I could do with more time x My paanic in my gut is dispersing but can come back with a vengeance - the only difference is that I can relax against it now rather than let it destroy me. Does anyone else get awful, real feelings of despair and what's the point. I want to go shopping etc and be me but get feelings (in my tummy) of 'what's the point?' Is this normal ? Am I getting better ?
    I know the weather doesn't help me because I live up in the hills in a tiny village in North Wales so it can feel especially gloomy. I have suffered with SAD for the last couple of years (as well as depression and anxiety) but this episode seems alittle harder to come out of. I am an avid reader of Dr Claire Weekes books but sometimes I can't see what I want to when reading - does that make sense ? I am new to this site and glad I found it because everyone is so honest about how they are feeling x
    Can anyone help with reassurance ??
    Thankyou - Danniella x
    Last edited by danniella; 12-01-10 at 19:09. Reason: added more

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2009

    Smile Re: Am I recovering ????

    Hi danniella

    I should imagine that your doctor recommended CBT because you need to tackle your negative thoughts and behaviour. Like me, the drugs help you, but it is important to get to grips with our underlying unhelpful patterns. This includes learning to accept that everyone, even so-called "normal" people, have off days, but we tend to over-analyze our feelings and make ourselves feel so much worse. Generally, I try and keep myself busy to avoid dwelling on things because it has become an engrained habit with me - like being stuck in a groove that feels easier to move along, rather than lift myself up out of.

    Have you asked your doctor about treatment for your SAD? This time of the year must be particularly bad for sufferers, I should imagine (I don't suffer from it, myself).

    Good luck with the CBT and the new job.

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