Hi
I have had this fear on and off since I had a breakdown nearly 18 months ago - before then I never really thought about death and dying and if I did then I just accepted it as being inevitable.
Since the breakdown, the death fear has come and gone and now its back again.
It is not a fear of a painful death, illness, or accident - it is the fear of what happens after death.
I can be really happy and relaxed and then out of nowhere comes the fear, about death.I can be happily looking at a beautiful scene for example and then in comes the thought of one day I will be dead and wont be able to see such scenes anymore.
I have read so many books, articles and visited so many websites about fear of death - thanatophobia. and life after death, and meaning of life books.
I have lost both parents and a friend and went all through that and yet for some reason I wasn't so bad then with the fear.
I have spoken to 2 counsellors about it but it still doesn't help. People tell me to not worry and just enjoy life, but I can't fully because of the fear of what is going to happen. I am annoyed with myself for feeling like this, because there are people out there who know they have limited amount of time left due to illnesses, and I should be thankful that for now I am ok and healthy - apart from being mentally ill ! lol - and that I should appreciate my time on the earth....but I can't cos of the stupid death phobia!!!!
I wish I had a faith. I need proof to believe in anything.
I read a quote from Mark Twain which says I was dead for millions of years before I was ever alive, and it never inconvenienced me in the least. I try and remember this and it does make sense, but no matter what I read or I am told, the fear is still there. It is making me so miserable.
How does anyone get over this and just accept? Am I going to be like this for the rest of my life until the moment I die???