Fear of death

[Nat99]

Hi is this thread still going?

[Gosforth phil]

Pollyanna i feel the same i think you some it up very well i some times think people with depression and anxiety are just very realistic. Youd be surprised how so many so called normal people have there head in a bucket of sand.

[izzybizzy]

I just read your post and wow, you literally described how I used to think about death, it ruled my life, I was severely depressed, I don't really get depression much, I still struggle with panic attacks and anxiety but I don't feel the same as I used to when I was younger.

I've had some strange kind of spiritual experiences though and even though intense they also gave me great comfort, I learned Reiki healing and I mediate, I know everyone has something to believe in, but I honestly think we are here for a reason to learn and love and I hope you make peace with your thoughts and feel much better soon x

[Hunter]

i to have recently started having this fear, and much like you said it can be not so bad some days and others it grips onto u and doesnt want to let you go. only just looking into ways to deal with this myself now. wish all those who have it to the best x

[mnaha]

Geez....that is why everyone of everybody is here.. afraid of losing control.. death the ultimate equalizer. For awhile I went through being terrified of just my death.. well guess I still am but im starting to feel better although i have still have stupid fear of anxiety and tachycardia and sometimes im not sure what im afraid of.. but I pretty much like you have read so many many books ,and articles and webpages about dying and death.. I have pretty much decided can't do much about it.. we all die.. it happens.. but hey there is one thing that makes me feel better..i think oh God oh God im going to die and maybe any minute but then I look around and I know that everybody and everything i see will die right behind me at some time.. although you say that oh they will long outlive me ...that is BS.. in geologic time we are not even a spec of time.. we are here and gone and they will be right behind us and then the rest of the planet and and in a blink of the eye in about somewhere between now and 5 billion years.. really this is just a very quick time in our universe ..our planet will cease to be..everything including fish in the sea birds in the air ,microbes and bacteria will cease to be and all things will be dead and history..even mountain ranges that were here will cease to be and eventually our whole galaxy will collapse and there will be no thing here that will let anyone ever know we were here.. so its all good.. if we die ,all the people that are here will die ,all the plant life will die,,eventually everything will die.. the earth the stars and just remember that everything even the starts are born and then they are gone.. and you have that nagging feeling that well if I die others will outlive me and the earth will go on.. yes it will but not for very long and well.. some how I find comfort knowing that its nothing personal about me dying when i die.. its just life and the universe and how things are ,born live and die.. and happens so quickly even geologic time.. just think.. Our universe they think its only 14 billion years old. and they earth only 4 billion years old ..but its still changing and eventually everything that ever existed will cease to exist so its all good.. I hope you feel better soon..

[Kaiserin]

PoppyC,

I completely am where you are/were now. The last couple weeks have been absolute hell for me, dealing with a sudden (out of the blue) death anxiety. Of course I have realized and known that we all have to bite the dust someday or another, but only very recently has it gotten so bad that I have days where I cannot function at all. I just lay around and think about the inevitable, almost like I'm waiting to die. My fear is of the 'nothingness' that comes after, and I have probably read 200 articles on the process, grieving, acceptance, and everything in between, not to mention stuff on the afterlife or lack thereof, etc. I have just about driven myself crazy with it all, and I don't know what to do. I can't seem to accept that this happens to us all and to start living in the now before I'm gone.

I had been seeing a therapist, but she left due to her contract running out, and a new one took her place. I live in a foreign country, and she could speak the language where hte new guy really couldn't. He also just sorta sat there and took notes and offered no real help. I have been put on Lyrica (doesn't help) and offered a few techniques for helping with anxiety, but it doesn't work. I don't know if I would call it true CBT or not. I may not ever get any because of the language barrier. I don't know if it would help anyways because this is something that is *guaranteed* to happen one way or another. I don't think the doctors here where I am care too much in general, as they don't take me seriously on any of my very real health problems, and I continue to suffer daily. This is really no different.

I feel lost most days and the happiness has been sucked out of my life. I don't know what to do.

[everhopefull]

Hi
I have had this fear on and off since I had a breakdown nearly 18 months ago - before then I never really thought about death and dying and if I did then I just accepted it as being inevitable.
Since the breakdown, the death fear has come and gone and now its back again.
It is not a fear of a painful death, illness, or accident - it is the fear of what happens after death.
I can be really happy and relaxed and then out of nowhere comes the fear, about death.I can be happily looking at a beautiful scene for example and then in comes the thought of one day I will be dead and wont be able to see such scenes anymore.
I have read so many books, articles and visited so many websites about fear of death - thanatophobia. and life after death, and meaning of life books.
I have lost both parents and a friend and went all through that and yet for some reason I wasn't so bad then with the fear.
I have spoken to 2 counsellors about it but it still doesn't help. People tell me to not worry and just enjoy life, but I can't fully because of the fear of what is going to happen. I am annoyed with myself for feeling like this, because there are people out there who know they have limited amount of time left due to illnesses, and I should be thankful that for now I am ok and healthy - apart from being mentally ill ! lol - and that I should appreciate my time on the earth....but I can't cos of the stupid death phobia!!!!
I wish I had a faith. I need proof to believe in anything.
I read a quote from Mark Twain which says I was dead for millions of years before I was ever alive, and it never inconvenienced me in the least. I try and remember this and it does make sense, but no matter what I read or I am told, the fear is still there. It is making me so miserable.
How does anyone get over this and just accept? Am I going to be like this for the rest of my life until the moment I die???

hello
I can only offer my opinion here. Although my fear is of waking in my coffin! actually being DEAD, is going to be the best thing to happen to us. Im not religious either and draw on loads of philosophies, faiths and quantum science. There is no such thing as DEATH, it is an illusion. It is only our ego's that die. Or you can think of our brains that cease functioning. Our true selves which is pure consciousness escapes the confines of the body and is liberated. Even quatum physics prove that energy cannot be destroyed, it just changes form. This is a huge subject, but I can absolutely assure you that death will be the absolute victory and is like removing the veil of illusion xx

---------- Post added at 17:51 ---------- Previous post was at 17:46 ----------

PoppyC,

I completely am where you are/were now. The last couple weeks have been absolute hell for me, dealing with a sudden (out of the blue) death anxiety. Of course I have realized and known that we all have to bite the dust someday or another, but only very recently has it gotten so bad that I have days where I cannot function at all. I just lay around and think about the inevitable, almost like I'm waiting to die. My fear is of the 'nothingness' that comes after, and I have probably read 200 articles on the process, grieving, acceptance, and everything in between, not to mention stuff on the afterlife or lack thereof, etc. I have just about driven myself crazy with it all, and I don't know what to do. I can't seem to accept that this happens to us all and to start living in the now before I'm gone.

I had been seeing a therapist, but she left due to her contract running out, and a new one took her place. I live in a foreign country, and she could speak the language where hte new guy really couldn't. He also just sorta sat there and took notes and offered no real help. I have been put on Lyrica (doesn't help) and offered a few techniques for helping with anxiety, but it doesn't work. I don't know if I would call it true CBT or not. I may not ever get any because of the language barrier. I don't know if it would help anyways because this is something that is *guaranteed* to happen one way or another. I don't think the doctors here where I am care too much in general, as they don't take me seriously on any of my very real health problems, and I continue to suffer daily. This is really no different.

I feel lost most days and the happiness has been sucked out of my life. I don't know what to do.

I just wanted to write, to reassure you and send you comfort. Throughout my experience of meditation. It is only the Ego that dies, not YOU.. This nothingness you fear is not coming from your TRUE self, only the Ego panicking about being destroyed. Nothing Real can ever be destroyed. it is an illusion. Emptiness in death is actually more full than we can ever imagine. Our minds cannot conceive the safety we will feel when we are finally liberated from the confines of the body. No more fear, because fear is of the mind and does not really exist. fear is a lie. Only LOVE exists now and forever
lots of hugs
Teejay

[AnxietyDJ]

Figured I would chip in here too... I definitely think about the exact same things A LOT. What will happen after I die... That I don't want death to be THE END for me... How short life is... How will it actually feel to die... Wanting to do so many things but realising there isn't enough time for me to do them all in my life etc. etc.

Like a lot of other people, these thoughts will just randomly pop into my head for no apparent reason and they have the power to make me incredibly scared and at times very very sad, to the point where I can't hold back the tears.

It definitely helps to know that you're not the only one going through this - NMP to the rescue again

[AthenaFaeyrn]

I have this too, although a little different as the main "bulk" of my fear isn't to do with after death, (although that still scares me!), my main fear is before it - the dying "process" - or things (illness, pain, suffering, hospices / hospitals / nursing homes, emotionally "preparing" for death - that terrifies me the most. I'm scared thinking about what the "pain" of death might feel like, and so of course hope I die peacefully in my sleep though I've convinced myself my death will likely be me insanely painful and horrible.

It's odd how it come about for me as a thing I thought about pretty much every day. I'd been high on pot that night and turned the lights off and went to lay down in bed next to my sleeping partner and my mind just "clicked" into thinking about death, and it just hit me.. "One day, I am going to be dead..", and it just went through my mind so many times and since then I've barely had one day go by where I haven't thought about it.

That happened about 4 years ago, and since then it's slowly turned into some sort of existential crisis featuring panic and HA.

[agnes]

Essential Help for your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes has a lovely section on Fear of Dying. I've just read it and find it quite comforting.

Sorry if this has been mentioned before in this thread...I haven't read it all.