suicidal thoughts scaring me :( pls read

[beckssss]

Hi there,

I have been having intusive thoughts about suicide for a while now, for the last few weeks they have been terrible and Im finding it hard to deal with. I don't really understand them because if I really wanted to commit suicide then surely I would just do it and not worry that im actually going to do it. I worry that the anxiety and thoughts are going to get so bad that I will act on the suicidal thoughts as a way of release. it really really terrifies me that Im going to act on them or that they will never go away. I get a feeling that comes out of the blue like everything is pointless and that I may aswell kill myself. if im on a highrise building i panic that im going to jump...if I see a belt it triggers the same kind of thought etc etc etc. I have confided in my partner about my thoughts and he says that I wont act on it, but maybe it will all come to much for me and I will actually do it...im so scared :(

[bottleblond]

Hi Becks

I think the fact that these thoughts are scaring you so much means that you are highly unlikely to act on them.

I think there are so many people here that have had these thoughts when we are really down and i do not know of a single person who has acted on them.
I know it's hard but try not to focus on them because the more you do, the more these thoughts will stay will you.

Every time you have these thoughts, try to distract and re-focus on something positive. Don't give it brain power hun because it is the fear and anxiety that is feeding the thoughts.

Kick ass gal and you will be just fine!
Lisa
xx

[gypsywomen]

i agree with lisa ,dont give them room ,when they come into your head do somethig ,run or do a job you dont like take care x

[Maj]

These repeated thoughts depend on your dislike of them to keep happening. Never forget they are only thoughts. If you just carryon with what you are doing when they happen, and don't give them the importance they seek, they will come to mean less and less and not matter any more. As Dr. Claire Weekes says, it's the not mattering that works. There's no way you'll carry out any of these thoughts because that what they are - only stupid thoughts.
Myra

[beckssss]

thank you so much for your replies. I guess what scares me the most is that I worry that the fact that the thoughts bother me so much, will depress me and eventually make me act on them...I guess its just a matter of trying to not make them matter x again many thanks

Becks x

[onceagain]

Hi Becks

Having been there I would say to you that if you are getting recurrent thoughts and they are getting more frequent then I would talk to your GP.

all the best to you x

[Louisey]

Hi All,
This post almost made me cry with relief, i have been feeling so scared of having thoughts like this during a particularly bad relapse of anxiety. I feel so fed up and scared it will never go away and that I will end up trying or in a psychiatric unit and then I think about how devastated my family would be and it's just so unbearable. Like the happy life I had till a few weeks ago has been hijacked and is beyond relief. The pure feeling of relief I felt on reading your comments, that these are just another sign of my upsetting intrusive thoughts and is not really ME is enormous.

[fed up with it]

Hi i have been having the same thoughts for the last 2 years, seriously that long its doing my head in. I am so stressed by it, thinking if i keep thinking it then i will act upon it. Then dark feeling inside makes it feel real when i get the thoughts, but i dont want to do it, as it scares the knickers off me, i cant even have my loose tooth removed as i am so scared, how could i act on these thoughts. So why do i keep thinking it.

[Chris2000]

This me too, I have suffered this for a year now and recently fallen into a deppresion to make it even worse. They scare the hell out of me and I also worry that one day I may do it Ive just started meds and councelling and hoping it helps.

[NoPoet]

Hi Beckssss, this fear of suicidal thoughts seems to be common, I thought I was the only one who had it until I spoke to people here. Someone told me that being afraid of it indicates that you are not suicidal: the danger is when a person actively plans their own death, and in this case the idea of death probably does not seem so terrifying. You don't fall into the suicidal category any more than the rest of us did.

Maybe the fear of suicide is hiding something like a fear of death, or just a desire to escape your problems? Personally speaking, after reaching the right dose of antidepressants and taking a few steps to get myself back on track, those thoughts rarely occur to me any more and have lost most of their power to shock or upset me. Perhaps as you start to get better, you will have the same experience.