Bereavement/Socialising

[rabbit25]

My Grandad died December 3 yrs ago and this yr my Mum has invited Relatives from her side of the family round as an after Christmas tradition on the day my Grandad died.

How can I socialise when I should be feeling sad?

I know I should be thinking happy thoughts, but to socialise seems wrong. What can I do?

The relatives that are coming weren't related to my Grandad.

[tammyg]

Hi

I know how you feel. My Gran died this year so this will be our first Christmas without her. It does feel wrong to be celebrating and having a good time. When I spoke to my aunt about this she just said 'but your Gran would want you to enjoy it. Remember her but don't feel guilty about having a good time because it is what she would want'. Wise words I thought.

I'm not sure whether I will fully enjoy it but I am going to try, for my Gran.

Just remember there are no 'shoulds'. There is no right or wrong way to feel, you feel how you feel. If you want to join in then do. If you want to just stay for a while then do that. You decide what feels right for you.

I wish you all the best at this tough time.

Tammy x

[Meg]

Whilst we always miss those we love who are no longer here, there is no need to keep sad forever on the day they died. You can always have a chat with them and think about them but don't keep a vigil.

Instead of keeping alive their death dates, I now remember their birthdays and make a point of sending my Mum a pretty card instead, to let her know I've remembered her Mum and my Dad.

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

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