Just when I thought I was out of the wood..

[ridingthewaves]

Ah hello folks,I haven't posted for quite some time,as I have been doing well and in my wellness assumed I had finished with anxiety ..lol should have known!

I have had a lot of extra things to do with recently,my mother has been quite ill for 5 months so I've been helping my dad out and dealing with doctors and things,my son is constantly on about cars and money and is not very good round the house,work has lots of changes going on due to cutbacks;I have an ex husband who i have a great friendship with and who cares enough to be there for me,just does not want to be with me as a couple,so confusion often reigns in my head , I have a male friend who would like more but to whom I cannot give more because I'm always hoping for my ex lol.,i had a severe cold for 2 weeks and to really grind me I had a bank appointment to alter my mortgage and add some extra money ,all agreed and they ahd no problem..but I did I suddenly hit panic and have not selpt well for 3 days ,tearful,anxiety,aches and tension..wham I felt like i had gone back 5 years !!! It was s if all my coping skills had never exsisted !!

I know now that everything just got too much , I did not step off when i could have done and I just kept the mountain going !!
I am now reinstating the skills I learnt whilst dealing with the aftermarth of the flood of anxiety. And I know I really do still need to set boundaries , and look after me.

Having had Miss anxiety for 34 years I guess I was expecting too much to believe I was 'cured'..BUT most of the time I'm ok,no I'm good..I just have to accept my limits and keep my eyes on the warning signs.

Thanks guys I needed to get that out .
Any advice on staying good friends with ex husbands whilst moving on to another relationship greatly appreciated )

love and good thoughts to all
jan

[Lion King]

Hi Jan,

I think the best thing for yourself is to move on, by hanging on your life is not moving forwards. I guess depending on your ex for comfort was your way of coping with the anxiety and thats possibly why you hang on. I had similar issues and suffered the same, the best thing I did was to cut all ties! It took time but felt better inthe end!

Hope you well

[feege]

Hi Jan

I just posted something very similar to you on the panic attacks thread.... Frustrating isn't it? I haven't been on here for about two years and really thought I had cracked it. And I guess we have but when there are periods of extreme stress it is only natural that old habits should rear their ugly heads... I feel so much better since writing what I did here and then reading your post - I have been up all night with full blown shakes, tummy etc. Like you I have had excessive extra stuff to deal with and it's not surprising we are suffering.

Lastly - let the ex husband go with love!!! don't spoil your chances of having another wonderful relationship if one is available although you can't force it! Lucky you to have someone interested - I have been on my own for a long time since my ex left me... he is now remarried with two small babies (he's 53!).

Hope you are feeling better now,

Fi
xx