An "unofficial" reminder about chat rules

[Jaco45er]

Hi all

This is from me personally, and is not from the Admin team.

I popped into chat yesterday evening not as an admin, but as a NMP member to have a bit of a chat and to run a couple of HA questions by members.

Within minutes of my arrival I got the impression from a few members that my presence as an admin was less than welcome (god knows why, I never go red, and I think I am pretty laid back and not authoritarian in anyway).

Regardless of this (don't worry, I am not that sensitive) once I actually viewed the subjects being discussed, I lost all interest in discussing anything related to anxiety.

Now this lead me to think about being in the position of a new member coming to the room for reassuance about the way he/she maybe feeling, and quite frankly, if I was that new member, going by what I seen last night I would have left chat and probably never went back.

Now we know the rules, and yes, rules are not exactly being broken, but all I ask is for chat users to think about others, and just think about what topics they are discussing.

I know people become good friends in chat, and meet there most nights, and there is nothing wrong with that, it's a good thing, but please welcome other users too, and just be a bit more sensitive when a new name comes in, or a member is quite for a period of time. They may want to put a question to the room, but feel a little intimidated to do so.

Think about the actual subject you are discussing, and if its appropriate. Put yourself in the shoes of a new member for a moment, would you feel comfortable with the conversation you are reading if you entered the room in a state of anxiety looking for help?

Many thanks,

Jaco

[bomberbeamish]

i totally agree with this, not that its happened to me latley, but ive been down and ask a question and just been ignored, not on purpose, but cause they wrapped up in the own chat, and i do think it nice to come off the topic of anixety ect and have a laugh but this is a help site, whe i first was using this site i ent into hlp room and no one help me when there was 12 or so in the other room. i dont think people reliese they doing it ,.... x

[KK77]

I thought the chatroom was moderated.

The few times I've been in I found the topics of conversation more like that you'd have on MSN and nothing really related to panic, anxiety or depression.

[Maj]

I've only "peeked" in the chatroom once or twice. Never actually taken part. But I know if I had joined nmp and wanted to go into chat it would be to help me through my anxiety. Melancholia said it sounds like msn so perhaps some users should use this instead of the chatroom? It might put new members off who are desperate to speak to someone for reassurance.
Myra

[claire m]

I think sometimes it goes both ways though sometimes i have gone in and have been feeling pretty crap and the subjects have been nothing anxiety or depression related and have actually distracted me for a short time from what i was feeling.

But then i've gone in at times when i have been low and if the room is in full flow no on has acknowledged me and when you feel pretty low it feels like a personal insult even though it really is most probably unintentional

When the convo is moving at a fast rate sometimes people do get missed entering the room though.

maybe we need to think if some topics are inappropriate for the kind of room nmp is offering and also there is the pm option that is available to users.

And as my mum says "manners cost nothing"
claire

[munkeyinblack]

I cant help bu notice the majority of people responding to this are those who don't use chat.

I know many people i have spoken to on chat use the room as a distraction. They come on to forget their problems for an hour or two and have a laugh with people they feel they can.

I fully agree that people should not be ignored but it is hard to go into help when you feel less than ok yourself.

I always assumed that the idea of help was that if people needed it they would go in there, as that was the purpose of the room ? and personally there has been very few days i'v been in the chat room and not gone to help to see if someone is ok. If this isnt the case then what people can and cant say in chat should be made clear so no one feels upset or left out

Alot of the anxiety topics discussed in the room also act as triggers for those who are trying to forget their problems and i think the problem your raising works both ways.

To be honest when im on people are rarely ignored unless the people in the room are away or doing something else, which is also common at the moment.

[weeble40]

[QUOTE=Melancholia77;608382]I thought the chatroom was moderated.

yes chat is moderated, but even us mods have our own problems at times to contend with, at the end of the day us mods are sufferers to, sometimes its incredibly hard to keep up with the conversation in the room, if say perhaps your already dealing with a situation, I personally last night was already in PM with another member, its up to all members to remember and abide by chat rules,

like Jaco says please spare a thought for all

Emms

[Veronica H]

this is worth discussing and I can see all sides. The help room is a good idea as long as if a person is in there they are not ignored as that would hurt.love to all.

Veronicax

[honeybee3939]

Hi

I know chat does have its problems but thought on a good note i would respond and tell you i popped in the other night (not been in for months!) and i was made very welcome by old ( and i dont mean age wise lol) and new members.

Love

Andrea
xxxx

[sb001f8994]

Ive not had any probs in chat, I havent been in for a while and went in last night, only briefly and was made as welcome as ever. I think as long as we show common courtesy and treat people the way we like to be treated ourselves we cant go wrong. It's just great to have somewhere to go for support and help if needed and its always good to get away from your probs and have a laught too.
Take care,
Carol x