Sick off initiating conversation

[Lion King]

Hi All,

I don't know if anyone has this problem, when I meet people I feel like I have to initiate the conversation just incase the other person doesn't. If I decide to say little or make little effort then the other person either is ignorant or say the minimum. I used to take this personally but now I have decided that I make too much of an issue to be friendly with everyone just to feel accepted, this used to feed into my anxiety when I was at my worst in the early days which led to social phobia. This all started with moving to a new area where I knew very few people so felt I had to make an effort, I guess I feel like I have tried too hard and need to chill out and just let life drop into place!

I have decided to take a further step to my recovery, that as well as becoming more assertive and giving myself positive self belief, I am now tackling self acceptance/self assurance to make my life that bit better. I don't know if this has been the natural way of recovery of self realisation but I can feel that life is starting to click into place and I feel much better about myself.

I will continue on my fight against anxiety and I will win!

I may not change today but I can surely change tomorrow!

All thr besy everyone

LK

[kate1]

Yep been there.

Always the one trying to see how everybody else is. Its in my nature and probably in yours.

[Lion King]

Thanks Katie,

It is our nature I guess, but what shapes our nature, is it the world around us or are we born with it. I hate to think that we have to change to suit the world around us, but we can become stronger in ourselves, and be hardened to the world by standing our ground and believing in ourselves. Why should I take crap, people only take advantage of my good nature to gain higher ground, this is no longer true of my life, we are all equal on the playing field, I am just as good as the person next to me!

I will get there!

LK

[looking4answers]

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and your logic speaks well of this..I guess assertiveness has always been to easy for me especially sticking my self in a conversation I didn't belong in but I managed..Made a few people angry but they got over it and will always..Its fun to be assertive and when people realize that you are and you can talk to anyone like they are all the same to you .they really appreciate you .. Take care sounds like you are on the right track.. Michael

[kate1]

Its also probably about acceptance, I bet you are doing a grand job. Try not to worry about other people. Be you, you sound great, we all too often worry about what other people think.

[Lion King]

Thanks Michael,

Being more assertive has made me gain confidence, you get what you want when you are assertive (in the right manner) and positive, you can change the course of your life and live a better life, instead of regretting not saying or doing anything to change just because you are afraid/ fearful of what the outcome may bring.

Only I can do this, I don't need to rely on approval or acceptance from anyone, time waits for no man!

LK

[kate1]

Yep, nice one!!