Need to vent

[cardcraft]

Basically, last wednesday I finally said enoughs enough and ended my marriage of nearly 13 years.
The bloke is a lovely guy but Ive been unhappy for years and even though I have agoraphobia/anxiety and he's the one person I feel safe with to travel further distance with, I can leave the house on my own but there's like this safe zone round my home and I cant seem to go any further as it brings out the anxiety and sometimes even panic attacks.

Sorry this is quite an epic post *blush*

Anyhow, my mum gives me a spiel about how she was going to be here for me, as her mother was never there for her when she split from my dad but as soon as I start showing any feelings and get upset she doesnt want to know.....we havent spoken in 2 days and she is the only person I can talk too but Im angry as she always drops me when I need her (actually this is only about the 3rd time Ive needed her)She hasnt even bothered to visit me since the split,she could but she hasnt - but then again nor has my dad but than that man is a total emotional recluse so I have no chance with him anyway.

Last night the bloke Im married to,went to the bathroom to pee and there's blood - he was so scared and crying ect that I had to calm him dont ect ect.....Im extremely scared for as he's just been diagnosed with another health issue but not sure if it has any bearing on this or not - hopefully,he'll phone the dr's today.

Im getting close to the end now lol

Im feeling extremely alone, misunderstood, dumped ect ect.......Im having to counsel my husband through our break up and now his health worries but who is here for me-NO ONE......I have no friends and the family I do have are just cr@p when it comes to dealing with emotions/feelings. As always Im basically dumped and I have to get on ith it.

It would be so easy for me to say lets get back together to hubby but it would be to make other people feel better,it would be easier but I think I'd go crazy if I did.....staying with him has made me so sad and unhappy but being on my own with no help while trying to deal with a marriage break down and the agoraphobia/anxiety is,well, just so hard to see or even think I could cope with.

If anyone has made it this far....phew lol

thanks for letting me get it out of my system x

[Ronny]

Hello.
I feel for you,but you should go with your gut feelings and let him go,you must look after YOU.I am sure there are friends and family that are there for you,sometimse it feels like you are all alone,but by thinking that way only makes you worse.If you have trouble leaving your home,try phone councilling that is an option for you.Maybe your hubby is the root of your problem I don't know,but if you are not happy then leave him,you might get a surprise and start to feel a whole lot better.Just do what is in your heart,and remember that you are not alone.Take care and good luck
Rhonda x

[Serendipity75]

Hi
I went through a similar situation. I was with my husband for 7 years. Looking back now (7 years ago we split) I think his insecurities were fuelling mine (and vice versa). They say you attract like for like.

I sounds like you are know that this relationship is no good for YOU, and that is a POSITIVE thing. YOU are are thinking about YOU. I know this probably feels you with guilt, anxiety of being on your own etc etc (but it DOES make you stronger.)

I can't comment on your relationship - only you know if it's right/wrong for your for YOU!

REMEMBER: this is YOUR life and you have the right to be happy.

Email me if you wish.

Emma :-)