How do I help a carer?

[chellebelle]

I have had panic disorder for 8 years now, with varying intensity. At the moment it's pretty severe and my wonderful boyfriend is confused and frustrated because try as he might he can't fix me and doesn't know how to help. I am so terrified i will push him too far one day. One thing I think would help is if he could better understand. I would love to hear from any carers with ideas on how the sufferer can make it easier on the carer. Thank you so much

"This too, shall pass"

[pinkpinkuk]

I live with my boyfriend, who has panic disorder. He has only really been suffering recently, so I have only got a little bit of experience at all this. I have had a big problem getting hold of information about the disorder (until I found this site).

In my experience there isn't much support for carers. I would advise you to help him find out more about the disorder, maybe have him take a look round the forum. It can be useful to get some tips about what to do and how to cope.

Its lovely that you want to help him, that's a great help to him. You need to make sure you reassure him that you are grateful for all that he does. Let him know that it is not his duty to fix you. What you need is for him to be there for you and to understand you. Don't let him think it is his responsibility, it is just something that you may occassionnally need help with. Above all make sure he knows how much he means to you and how grateful you are to him for being there for you.

Laura

[Clivegsd]

I would say that most Carers are a resilient lot, don't underestimate him and how much he understands about your condition. If he's a typical Carer (if there IS such a thing as 'typical') then he will just 'know' It took me a while to understand the wifes conditions and how they affected her mentally, but it's a learning thing (I waffle on a little so please excuse me )

The 'suffer' can't change how they are and nor should they as it puts even more stress on them trying to be 2 different things.

I can direct him to a great Carers online support group if he was interested? (if you will excuse the blatant plug for my site?) We are the main Carers support group on the internet, forget the 2 charity ones, they are more interested in securing their salaries than doing anything to help in a practical sense.



ukcarers.org.uk

[Granny Primark]

Hi chelle,
I used to be a carer. My dad had alzeimers at a very early age, it started in his early 50s. Sadly when my mum died at the age of 60 his alzeimers progressed rapidly. I looked after him for 6 years. It was hard work but also very rewarding. Id get frustrated but never angry. People dont choose to be ill.
However now for the last 12 months ive been suffering from panic. Ive had to rely on the help and support from others particularly my husband. I feel guilty cus i was always so independent before but my husband realises that panic is an illness and i cant help being like this. I try my best to stay cheerful and optimistic.
All this worrying is not helping you but we do all feel like this.
Please take care and think positve. Things will get better.

Lots of love
From
Lynn