Just thought I'd share my experiences over the xmas period. We were going to have a quiet xmas.
I hadn't had a PA for quite a few weeks until Christmas Eve (well 2am Christmas Day actually). My son (19) had gone out with friends and I had dropped him off at the venue in the dark and the thickest fog. I don't like driving in the dark much anyway, but with the fog it was a bit more hazardous than usual. Anyway, he said he'd get a taxi back the 9 miles to home later on.
As all parents of teenagers surely know, things never quite go to plan and I got a call at 2am asking me to collect him. I was still up as I never can rest until he's safe (my biggest anxiety trigger actually). So my partner came with me and we drove through the fog to the place to collect him. There are many bars and clubs there. When we arrived, there were drunk revellers staggering about everywhere (my second biggest fear) and a massive police presence. I pulled into a layby near the venue but couldn't see him. I tried his mobile and it went on to answerphone every time. With the tension rising, my partner got out and said he'd go and look for him...
It was at that exact point that my stomach tightened, heart raced, I had the biggest hot flush and went into full panic mode! There were 2 policemen breath testing a youth nearby and I nearly ran over there and asked for help (god, what was I thinking??). Luckily, my partner AND son appeared soon after as I was struggling to remember what I was supposed to do to survive the panic. Breathing, rescue remedy (I thought: it's got alcohol in it hasn't it? I can't use that then - I'm driving...), oh hell! I was a blubbing mess when they got into the car! The drive back (still in thick fog) was ok but I was fighting back the tears of fear and disappointment. I felt like I had taken a few steps back.
When I told people about this afterwards, they all said that anyone would have got a bit anxious in that situation, especially if they are recovering. I suppose they're right, although I remember a time when I would have been much cooler. My partner found a positive note though - he said that at least the panics are getting further apart. That is true and he is brilliant.
A few days later (when the snow came) I had to drive 100 miles to one day survival intro course with a well-known survival expert off the telly. It was a pressie for my partner I'd booked ages ago. But it was snowing, weather warnings saying don't travel and so I was scared. We decided to go down the night before and stay in a hotel. All went surprisingly well until I went to sleep. The anxiety monster reared its head and I spent virtually all night awake. I was scared that I might get really bad depersonalisation when said celebrity arrived (starstruck or something) and I'd do something stupid in front of everyone.
However, it didn't happen that way at all, it was a great day, there were no problems (apart from my lack of fitness!) and I am so glad I didn't cop out at the last minute (I so very nearly did). My partner drove home as I was so shattered. I don't normally let anyone drive me as I am a terribly nervous passenger, but I was happy to hand over the responsibility this time. Progress I think!
So all in all, a mixed holiday full of challenges but I know more than I knew before. I was going to post this under one of the Problems categories, but decided to think positively and look upon it as success. I achieved some things. And now it's a new year. Hurrah!
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