I was rubbish today. I took my daughters to school and then went for my compulsary agoraphobic-curing trek around the shops. I managed to buy a paper and a bag of crisps and I stood long enough at the cashpoint to pay money in but not take any out!! I just don't get it. Two years ago I had an operation on my hand whilst wide awake and chatted to the surgeon while he did it! I coped with my Mother and step-Father dying six months apart, I did all the shopping, ran the house etc etc and now I am allowing myself to be bluffed by a physical feeling. Am I frightened of dropping dead? Well if I did I wouldn't know much about it, would I? What about fainting? Well, panic has caused me to faint twice so far and nobody stole my children or took my handbag, they bent down to me and showed me great kindness and told me their anxiety soties. The rest of my day will now be spent worrying about going out tomorrow. Everything looks like I am on the outside and I will be crying by mid-day. I'm not giving up because I know so many people have overcome it, but I just don't understand what I am so frightened of and what the trigger is.
Thanks for letting me share.
Christine