Ok here goes

[squonk]

HI Blakes,

Only found this site recently been reading your posts,

Yes it is really S**T but it's good when you finally find out you are not alone and weird.

I guess if you go and speak to your GP they have others like you and will take you seriously or may be not I did my research on the net before speaking to my GP and told him exactly what i wanted it was the only way I could face him )IT WORKEd to my supprise.)

NPS is a really good source of help for SA.

I heard a statistic that almost 30% of the world population suffer in some form or another of SA so who are the normal ones?

For me I find walking around town very easy because I am annonimous but when I have to go into a shop (especally card shops the choise which one!!!) I break out in panic and sweat and usuall don't get anything. The number of days I went without eating becasue I could not get into a shop to buy food.

Well I am much better now I tried MEds but the sideffects I could not cope with so I sought alternatives and found CBD to be the thing for me.

Now I try to see a councilor for my other issues like RULEs, Timekeeping etc....
Sounds like you suffer with anxieties around these as well!


Hope you fiond some real hepl it is out there and you are not on your own.

Take care

Squonk.

[bakes0310]

its been along time since i been on here so hello ppl.

Today ive just found out how extreme my problem is.
At work today i was driving around the warehouse like normal but i was working in the hardest compartment which contains very heavy stuff like wardrobes etc. I was in a bad mood all day and a bit depressed, so on purpose i lost control of my vehicle ( its something like a forklift but you stand on it) i made the vehicle swerve under a raking but i reacted by ducking so i couldnt decapitate myself.
I carried on working for the rest of the shift but had to fill out an accident form which of course i lied about, else i would be in some other sort of trouble.
It took me a couple hours to realise that i tried to kill myself but even now i dont know if i wish i didnt duck or im glad i did im just feeling empty inside.

[Eclipse]

Hi bakes,
I wasn't a member of NMP when your original posts were put on but having read through them I've come to the conclusion that - like many other people on here - you don't realise what a caring, compassionate and worthy person you are. In one of your posts you mentioned feeling less of man cos you'd cried three times in one week but for starters that makes you more of a man for just admitting it, secondly I'd see that as a good thing cos it shows some of the emotion & turmoil is working itself to the outside instead of it still being bottled up. These words may not be of any great consolation to you at the moment but trust me, there will be days when you suddenly realise that you've made the tiniest progressive step in some area that'll make you really proud. Don't ever give up hope.
As to your post today, I'd venture to say that, the fact that you automatically/subconsciously ducked by the racking means that you're still looking for help not a way out. Take that as a good sign.
As many others mentioned, reading your first post was like seeing myself and I'm 38. I've said it before (& no doubt will again)even the darkest times actually help to make us stronger/better people cos we've battled through so much.
Please don't ever feel alone, we all welcome each others posts & if you'd prefer - we all have PM's.
Love
B Wolf
XXXXXX

[BiPolarBear]

Hey

I have just read your post and i have to admit you have just fescribed me almost perfectly. I has issues about say going in to town and people looking at me, but i over came this by keeping going into town and de-sensitising myself and now i can walk round ok.

I also see where your coming from with regard to the not being comfortable in social situatuions, i wish i had some great advice for you but i am also still struggling with this situations although i am able to do some things. I too feel so alone and have no friends who stay in contact. I live at home with my parents and feel a total looser. So i see where your coming from.

You have one good thing, you have a job which i am not able to do yet.

I could go on forever about how similar we are but i wont, just remember there are many people out there who know how you feel and your not alone. With help from sites like this and Support from friends and maybe a little therapy like CBT we will all get through this.

Maybe if you start to challenge yourself, i mean maje a point out of going into town, you never know the fear may disapate, and if not well at least you can say you tried.

Remember small steps

Take it easy Bro
BiPolarBear

[bakes0310]

Its been a very long time but thats cause i aint had any big problems until tonight.
Well its my 21st today which ive been very excited about and i was really happy in work and i brought in sweets and stuff to share with ppl and i had a huge bday badge the size of plate stuck to my superman shirt hehehe.
As the shift went on and ppl were saying congrats and all that then it was followed by a what u doing here on your bday you should be wasted about now, this didnt bother me really as i just told them im going out later for a meal with family in which i am.
Anyway went out for a meal and all the food was lovely and i had my mum her boyfriend gran and granther and little brother. Before the first meal came my gran and was taken home by granther cause she had a real bad headache so i understood. So it was just the four of us and i didnt say a word really the whole time i just watched this bloke eating a meal by himeself and couldnt stop thinking that will be me oneday.
Ok im gonna try and sum up my existance:

monday-friday
up at 5:20am get ready for work and leave by 5:45am
in work at 6:30am finish 2:30pm
have lunch then play computer games or dvds until 5:30pm
5:30pm have dinner then play computer games until 9:00pm
9:00pm have supper watch tv till 9:45pm
9:45pm get ready for bed
9:55pm go bed

Saturday
wake up whenever i want
food computer tv sleep....................sunday work.....

I wouldnt say im depressed at all if you asked someone at work does simon look unhappy they would say are you kidding. Im really happy in work i got all my workmates there and im doing something different than at home.
Im only a bit sad today as its my 21st and its meant to be special as im meant to have friends take me out for some drinks until im out of it and have a really good time. And here i am back from my meal at 8:30 typing away at a computer screen about to go bed at 9:30.
Ill get over it ill be alright tomorrow i just felt getting it off my chest.