depersonalisation/derealisation

[Tomimo]

Another fairly bad day here :(

I got up and went to work and was fine there. I had a shaky moment in the morning but it passed and I dealt with it. I even managed to do my first solo teaching session (I'm training to be a teacher). with no real problems. My eyes felt a bit slow to focus but I just tried to accept it. It doesn't really help that people costantly tell me that I look awful/ill - I do look very pale with bags under my eyes but I think that is just from feeling like this and lack of sleep.

As soon as I left the work though I felt like I was going mad.

I have had deapersonalisation before, where I just feel a bit foggy and spaced out but it's never been like this. I am terrified of my own feelings. I just feel that the earth isn't real and that if I shut my eyes it would all disappear. I feel like it's not really me doing the things I am doing and that none of it really exists. It's really horrible and it is scaring me that I am going mad. Is this depersonalisation or derealisation or too serious to be either.

I still manage to look after the kids and work without seeming too mad so how can I go from one feeling to the other so fast?

I just wanted to call my husband at work and ask him to come home but there seemed like no point, it wouldn't change anything. I also just want to cry because I feel so awful but I know that if I started then I would never stop.

SOrry to keep posting but I feel like it will never pass.

Annie x

[poppy]

Hi,
I know how your feeling, I have spent most of the day crying because the symptoms have got so bad.
You should be proud of yourself managing to hold down a job while feeling like this, i know a lot of people couldn't.
As for the depersonalisation/derealisation i get that most of the time too and i know how frightening it can be but we make it worse by adding fear to it, like you said you fear going mad. You have been ill for some time and haven't gone mad yet so why should you now.
I appreciate how hard it is not to worry about all these symptoms because i am still struggling with them myself but if we try our hardest not to add any extra tension by thinking all the what ifs then we would eventually lose our fear of them.
Hope this helps.
Take care
Poppy

[Meg]

Annie

*I also just want to cry because I feel so awful but I know that if I started then I would never stop.*

Crying is natures stress relief and will release calming hormones that will help you.

Whilst you were dealing with the kids you were foccussed on some thing else and when you'd finished you had room in your brain for all the fear thoughts to come crashing in.


First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety

Strategies for coping
Some of my symptoms and explinations.
very strange panic attack symptoms
Actute Anxiety,given ZISPIN ???? HELP
bowels
Since the dentist
You can overcome this!




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[RobyBaggio18]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Another fairly bad day here :(

I got up and went to work and was fine there. I had a shaky moment in the morning but it passed and I dealt with it. I even managed to do my first solo teaching session (I'm training to be a teacher). with no real problems. My eyes felt a bit slow to focus but I just tried to accept it. It doesn't really help that people costantly tell me that I look awful/ill - I do look very pale with bags under my eyes but I think that is just from feeling like this and lack of sleep.

As soon as I left the work though I felt like I was going mad.

I have had deapersonalisation before, where I just feel a bit foggy and spaced out but it's never been like this. I am terrified of my own feelings. I just feel that the earth isn't real and that if I shut my eyes it would all disappear. I feel like it's not really me doing the things I am doing and that none of it really exists. It's really horrible and it is scaring me that I am going mad. Is this depersonalisation or derealisation or too serious to be either.

I still manage to look after the kids and work without seeming too mad so how can I go from one feeling to the other so fast?

I just wanted to call my husband at work and ask him to come home but there seemed like no point, it wouldn't change anything. I also just want to cry because I feel so awful but I know that if I started then I would never stop.

SOrry to keep posting but I feel like it will never pass.

Annie x

<div align="right">Originally posted by Tomimo - 05 January 2006 : 16:57:03</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

I'm struggling with these symptoms at the moment, nothing seems real, I cant feel my own legs, arms and everything seems unreal. But I know deep down underneath all this **** that is happening I'm still here and this is still me.

It will pass, I promise you. At the moment you just have to roll with it. Just remember its a perfectly natural state and in no way are you going mad.

If you managed to do a teaching session with kids then id say you were doing really well.

Mark.

[Tomimo]

Thanks to you both.

I guess I just find it hard to believe that it is okay to feel this unreal and it's silly but it's hard to believe that anyone will have ever felt this bad and got past it - I must think I am special or something because part of me thinks maybe I will be the one exception who really does go mad.

Annie x

[Meg]

Its not silly at all - its soo terrifying to not feel in possession of your own faculties when in fact you still are but its very scary.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Jenny]

I had a shaky moment last week My husband dropped my off in town the other week. I jumped out of the car not really thinking about it. Then it hit me, I stood for a minute and felt lost. Last year I would have walked straight back home, but I thought NO I am going to walk up the street and go in the first shop I come to and browse around and gather myself. Which I did and came through it. Yes I felt sick, and a bit shaky, but there was no way this was going to beat me. I finished up going round town and did the shopping that I needed to do.
I do hope you are feeling better soon and able to overcome some of these awful feelings.

Jenny xx

[Meg]

Wow, good on you Jenny.

You did great

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Tomimo]

Well done Jenny It's great that you didin't let it beat you!

Annie x

[Tomimo]

Well, I'm up and fighting another day.

Mum mum called last night and I was explaining how bad my day was. She called back later to check that I was ok and told me not to do anything stupid because the kids need me - I told her I am not suicidal, I just feel mad! Besides I'm too scared of death! She worried me a bit becuase she runds a psychiatric assessment unit so I hoped she didn't think I was mad but she reassured me that poepl who are truly mad don't worry about it!

As I was going to bed I saw a bright blue circle in my eyes and thought I was having halucinations and of course panicked but actually I thnk it was a visual thing as it moved like a floater and was strong after I blinked - it shrunk and went in a couple of minutes - it's amazing what fear can do!

When I woke up this morning I felt awful, really mad again, I think I think too much - I though about mmy feelings and then got lost in the thought of being mad. However, I then sort myself out and get the kids ready so we are all going out to work and school.

Annie x