depersonalisation/derealisation

[alexis]

Yes annie, easier said than done but when youve come as far as i have, no going backwards, , take care, and rip that book up.....lol

Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.


love from Alexisxx

[blackvisionaire]

hi,
I m Ahmed From Egypt ,i suffer derealization for 3 years ,when i go out in the street i feel that there is something wrong, i feel that there is a clouds or sand in the air,i feel that i m not real and i m in a strange place.i want to know,is there an end to that?.i feel that i m going to be mad.and i feel suicide is the only way.

[PaulaRubyLove]

I don't know what to say, but please nobody kill themselves...there's always a better way to deal with things.

[Thorsten]

I read on wikipedia that depersonalization affects 2.4% of the population (reference Ross CA. (1991) Epidemiology of multiple personality disorder and dissociation. Psychiatric Clinics of North America). While this figure seems rather high many who suffer, as I, tend to function to all appearances as a collected and sound individual.

Putting a name to the state of my feelings has brought me to this site and after reading many of the posts (a task that has been troubling and difficult) I feel like sharing some. The depths of depression and separateness I have experienced have necessitated some positive thinking on my part and here is one perspective: I once read that knowledge is the ability to look at the world and look at one's looking. In a sense it seems that depersonalization is an awareness of awareness that tends to lead our emotions to states of disarray. When we observe ourselves living our lives we can reach a point where instincts and basic lures no longer direct us on our path, instead we are left to conjure or fabricate our own sense of what we want and who we are. I used to say "I want to want such and such".

As a young adult I was very frustrated with my perception of our society. I believed that if I lived in a more "primitive" culture I would be directed to a station in life that was straight-forward and necessary to the survival of my fellow humanity in a close knit community. As an intelligent being in our current society it is difficult to sort out a rewarding and self-fortifying path because there is so much chaos, ambiguity and a constant rush of media and collective "white noise".

In high school I struggled to find a goal for my studies; I couldn’t think of an occupation. When I complained to counselors or teachers they thought that the solution was simple, they’d ask “well, what do you like to do?” That was what I wanted to know. I underperformed and was labeled as hosting ADHD--on the receiving end this is interpreted as warped, broken, abnormal, ill fit, incompatible, and one who does not belong. If my mind was to be deemed malformed, I reasoned, than it might help if I read up on the way a mind was supposed to work. I was mildly surprised to find that the Mind section of a university library did not shed a lot of light.

I could go on and on, but these posts shouldn’t become lengthy biographies I should think. I wound up on medication and more convinced than ever that something was wrong with the modern world and myself with it.

I took a course in college on shamanism, the art of spiritual healers such as medicine men/women or witchdoctors. I would recommend those interested to read up on the topic of soul loss as it relates to shamanism. Many shamans throughout the world at a time of very isolated civilizations all practiced the art of soul retrieval which was both a healing of the individual and of society. Today I guess that psychiatrists and psychologists are our shamans, too bad there are some waving the staff of psychopharmacology as a panacea to our spirit’s discomfort.

In the end it seems very hard for me to argue that ignorance is bliss, let’s keep the dialogue going.

[Dani_lou2603]

Hey everyone,

i get the very same feelings, as if the world is not real, as if i am dreaming.

i hate this symptom the most, it means i get no enjoyment out of the things i would usually enjoy.

i have had a virus the last 6 weeks so i have been really down and my panic attacks have come back after nearly a year of feeling 'normal'. im at the point where i fear driving and being out alone, im trying so hard to beat it but i feel so weak, i just want to lay in bed and try and sleep to block it out.

i try and keep reminding myself that i have beaten it before. it is possible.

this site is a life saver, i regularly cry with relief when i read other peoples comments - you are all amazing

Thank you

Dani

[JButler]

Its so helpful reading other entries about this condition. Im going through these sensations myself of not being real/out of body experience/paranoia/fear/foggy/feeling like Im going crazy etc. sounds like all of you really understand how I am feeling and its a great relief to me to know Im not the only one out there! I have been through these sensations before and come out the other side back to normal so I know that it will come right in the end, but it does take time and I hope all of you get through these awful feeling sooner rather than later. It is a very scary thing to deal with and can make life very difficult. there is help out there though and it can be cured, just may be something that crops up in life from time to time. Hang in there everyone!