anyone else with kids?

[babs26]

Hi,
I have got four kids aged between 8 weeks and 5 and I am really worried that my panic disorder and depression is going to affect them and maybe affect their future mental health. I cant cope with them and am constantly shouting and losing my temper, I dread each day as I dont know how I am going to get through the day with them while my husband is at work. I know they are suffering because of me and I want to be a good mum but really dont feel I am. Sometimes I think they would be better off if I left them with my hubby and let him bring them up. has anyone had any similar experiences?[?]:(

[sarah]

Hiya Babs

I cant speak for those who have kids as I dont but I can speak from the perspective of someone who has a mum who has suffered panic and depression all my life.

The funny thing is, I never knew anything about it until I started all this panic lark 18 months ago and she told me.
I always thought the reason she felt bad all the time and never went out was because she had high blood pressure and was told the medication she was on was for this.

I never knew how she was suffering and even if she had told me at the time I dont think I would have understood...well u dont till you go through it do you?

I can honestly say that even tho I never had a mum who was always happy and took me out places,I wouldnt change her for the world. I love her dearly and believe it or not, she is fine now, always wants to go out to make up for the years she didnt go anywhere and now im at the age (30) where I am grown up to appreciate her, not argue and should be out girly shopping and 'doing lunch', im the one who doesnt go out anywhere!!!!

ok so im rambling but truly, you dont always do the damage to your kids that you think you are!!!!

love Sarah
xx

[Laurie28]

Hiya Babs,

I have 2 kids as well 10 months and 6years. I was also very worried my anxiety would 'rub off on them'. It can but we have to make sure the kids do not see us at our worst. Children can be a handful (I know mine are!!) but shouting at them (in my opinion)won't do alot of harm as long as we show them the love they deserve.

Also we tend to be stuck in the house at this time of year but hopefully the weather will improve and we will get out and about soon!

Have you spoken to your health visitor about how you feel??
Let us know how you get on

Love
lucky

[apricot]

Hi,

I have suffered from pa's and agoraphobia since 1997. I have 3 kids who are now aged 12, 8 and 7(My youngest was only 9 months old when it started).

My kids have not really be affected. In fact my eldest is above average for his age in school, popular and confident.

I try not to let them see me panicking, although I know it is hard and if I need to talk about it, try to do this when they are in bed or otherwise occupied.

I do have the guilt that we can't do things others can as a family, but the positive thing I take from the situation is that I feel when you suffer from panic, you make more of your children to make up for what you can't do with them. Asking about their day, taking an interest in what they are doing, giving them the encouragement. When I am down the school, I find that other parents are not as interested in their children as they are pre-occupied with whatever else is going on in their own lifes, going out, work, etc.

To me, panic has made me appreciate the little things with the kids that most parents forget and it is these little things that the kids will remember, not how much mum gave me to go shopping with but the quality time we spend together.

I hope this helps,

Nikki

Turn 'what ifs' into 'I can' and you will.

[stimpy]

Hi Babs

I have 2 boys 8 (nearly 9) and 5 (nearly 6).
I try to hide my panic from them as much as I can, and when that's not possible I or my husband will explain that I'm not well but I will be okay soon and not to worry.

My eldest son is on the Autistic spectrum and I have noticed that from time to time he will "mimick" my panic symptoms. "I can't do my homework because I'm scared" and he will then pretend to shake. Or he will say things like "..we can't do anything because you are suffering major panic."
I tell him to calm down, take deep breathes and we will work together. Or to calm down and once the major panic is better we will sort something out.

My youngest son has a speech problem and he is a diamond.
"Come on mum I'll take you for a walk, and we'll take a bear so you won't get scared."
"Here mum have a drink of water and a blanket, I'll sit with you till you feel better."
I tell him thank you and give him a hug and hold his hand, tell him not to worry because I will be better soon.

I think we do suffer huge amounts of guilt because the panic situation feels out of our control.
I agree with Nikki, when ever possible talk to your children, even if you just ask them what they did at school, what colour is their t-shirt or what is their favourite toy today.
Sometimes talking to your children can be a great distraction from your panic symptoms.

Try not to worry too much, you won't always feel this way, it will get better.



Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

[nomorepanic]

Liz

All those things you son says as so cute - brought a tear to my eye cos I could just see him there saying that to you.

You are very lucky to have such lovely caring children.

Nicola

[Rennie1989]

liz

i wish my m8 was as kind as ya youngest, he is soooooooooo cute.

i try to make sure that my brother (7) doesnt see me panic, he is just as adorable (when he wants to ) i just dont want him to worry.

jade