Feeling Guilty, Thought It Would Pass

[Anxious_gal]

she's only 9! she is still a bit young for a pony! I had a gold fish at that age :-)

[smudger]

lol! She's had one of those (didn't take much interest) and has a hamster. I play with it more than she does but she does clean it out. Think a pony is too much to take on at the moment.

[jannnne]

HI, We are similar to your friend I suppose, we live for the moment and tend to spend all our money on here and now.

We have a pony for our girls, we own him we decided against loaning one. I have listed some Pros and Cons for you.

Pros

Keeps your daughters busy.
Teaches them responsibility.
Makes us all spend time together as a family.
Has brought us closer together and given us a common interest with our teenage daughter.
Gives them endless joy.
If you loan you can give him back.


Cons

It took us 3 years to find the right pony. Horseriding is the most dangerous sport in the country and it took a long time to find one that was bomb proof on the road.

Cost, well £3,00.00 initially. £70.00 every six weeks for shoes, £100.00 per month stable in summer. The cost of stabling in the winter is about £270.00 per month in winter plus food.

Public Liability and health insurance 30.00 per month.

Tack- some come with tack but you need to buy new rugs every 18months or so.

In the summer we just need to check on him once a day as he lives out but in the winter it is an hour in the morning and at least 1 hour a night. We cannot go away for 6 months of the year.

We cannot affor holidays abroad anymore only in this country.

Our pony is 10 the can live up to 30 years. You could sell but to be honest it is an awful business with horses ending up at markets and for meat, could you really sell him when they have outgrown him.

Dont want to put you off but I think it is such a massive comittment you all have to be prepared to to care for it.

Personally I do not like horses I have an allergy to them but, I do like feeling closer to my girls and it helps us spend time together. Hope this helps.

xx

[smudger]

This is REALLY helpful for me AND my friend, thank you so much.

[onceagain]

Hi Smudger...

Going through a real wobbly at the moment.. but had to reply... I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you feel guilty or confused ...honestly.

I didn't know how old your daughter was but since seen she is only young... I helped out at yards from when I was 10 had my first riding lesson at 9... I was more than happy to help out and infact still remember William and Tony my treasure riding school horses... it made my love grow eventually I talked ate and slept horses ...

You don't have to provide a horse or pony for your daughter to get that horsey bug as we call it ... she will get as much fun and pleasure from helping out and if like me and she does get bitten big time she will get one herself believe me...

Its funny..we all worry so much what the children get but all we have to do is think back to how we girls loved our pencil cases...something so simple but didn't we... we didn't have all this technology or money or gadgets or such high fashion expenses but we all have at least something that we remember and it is usually something that either cost nothing..or something that we had to work to get...

Smudger give yourself a hug... read some of your posts and you are a great mum... you have given the most important thing ...love ... you soppy x

[smudger]

Sharonsk what a lovely post. I so wish you weren't suffering, its hard to hear nice people suffering. You didn't make me feel guilty don't worry. I just get confused coz some people are encouraging me n others not! I agree about the simple things whole heartedly though. We made paper mache horse masks at home last week n she has obsessed about them! Who would have thought just a balloon, glue n newspaper n paint could be so fulfilling! Trouble is, kids can give you such a look can't they when they don't get what they want! It cuts you in half! Especially if their friends constantly get the material things they don't! I'm not sure how old she has to be to work at the stables insurance wise so I need to check that out. Are you in the UK, do u know the law? She is a member of the pony club and I believe you get extra insurance with that. I need to research I think!

[onceagain]

I didn't have to worry bout those things when I helped there was none of that ..just like at swimming we dived from diving blocks now the kids have to do a certificate to say that they have passed the diving blocks to use them in competitions..beyond me.....

I know when my daughter was interested we enquired at a local yard.. she would have had to do a certificate at the yard which they charged for and then she would be able to help...luckily it was a passing phase..something her friends did.. I did wonder as my mum still has my old shetland beside the house ..my mares companion.. and my daughter had never shown any interest!!!!

I can certainly find out for you no problems and come back to you x