Plagued by health anxiety but mistrust doctors - worried sick

[Subo]

Thank goodness Ive found this site! Am new to the forum and had to post as am being eaten up by these fears and worries about health, death, cancer and its been so long now im at breaking point. Eevry tme I have an illness or one of my family does I worry its cancer, I convince myself my dad will go to sleep and not wake up or have a heart attack as he lives on his own, and no one will find him. I could go on and on.

Ive always had health anxiety - ever since a child I had a fear of doctors and would scream if my mum made me go. As an adult they cant get me out of the place! But when I became pregnant (after being convinced I was infertile) things have escalated. My baby is one but Im still so worried about some of the things I have read about interventions in pregnancy and birth that I had - early ultrasound scans and other birth interventions have apparently never been adequately tested for safety. My baby had to have an x ray not long ago (he is now one) and I am so worried about the radiation and am eaten up with fear about all these medical interventions and what they may have done to him as ever since reading so much in my pregnancy I found out some shocking things about the medical profession/pharma companies, who I used to trust. Similarly, I feel that alternative therapies are also not adequetley tested and researched and I feel there is no one I can trust.
Every day I worry my baby has some terrible disease I particularly worry about leukaemia and I feel like I have upped his risk of getting it- especially since the x ray. Ive spent hours - days that must all add up to weeks researching on the internet and my fears are always realised, Ive emailed people hoping for reassurance but it makes things worse. Im so scared i dont know what to do. I wish i had been told that certain thigs arent 100% safe before I had them. Ive had loads of help with this - cbt, anti depressants - you name it Ive had it, but nothing helps. Sorry if Ive rambled - got so much in my head, was just hoping to meet like minded people as I drive my family mad with worrying and dont feel like many people understand xxxxx

[cthechick84]

hey subo
i have 3 young children 4,2,7wks and have terrible health anxiety it came on after my 2nd child was born to i have a massive fear of dying and leaving my boys without a mother but jus lately its spreading on a worry of my children or husband becoming ill and that which is normal of a parent but not how i am i obbsess and its making me really bad if u wana chat im in chat room or just pm me i knw how you feel its horrible an with the the bad symptoms to go with it .i was cured for almost a year so now it can be done again chin up hun best wishes C.x