This is a follow on from my previous post at Going private for CBT. Any advice?
I am starting a new one as that was already 5 pages long and was basically about whether I should go for CBT again or not.
The quick summary is that I am going back to CBT to help with my anxiety whilst driving and in particular in road works etc.
Well today I had the first session.
It was a long round trip as I had to drive from Luton to Cambridge (1 hour 15 mins) and then back again and this was on top of the 1.5 hours I do as a round trip to work anyway.
I knew there were some roadworks on the A505 but that was the quickest route so I set off that way but when I came to the roundabout and looked down on the A505 it was a contra flow and I just wasn't ready to face that.:(
Well I got there in the end via some horrid narrow back roads and we had a lovely chat about things. I wish I had made notes as I have forgotten some of it but basically she thinks that I have still have the underlying anxiety hanging around from years of suffering with that and panic attacks and it was now mainly focused on driving issues.
She reinforced what I already know and that is about facing this head on and challlenging it and my thoughts. She said that although I am coping well with the driving and have my own distraction techniques, I am still allowing the anxiety to sit waiting to pounce on me when it can!
I need to get angry with it and tell it to "come on and do its worse" and also talk to myself and reassure me that I am fine and nothing will hurt me and I won't lose control and crash and die!
She said she wants me to practice starting off with small steps with low anxiety - i.e. drive up a road that I don't like but one that I can still pull off quite easily if I need to. She advised me not to go back to work via the contraflow cos that was too much too soon and she wanted me to build up the confidence slowly and in measured steps.
When I go back next Friday she is going to draw up a plan of action for me and basically I have to go and do it! Well I am not going to get better sat on the settee telling myself I am fine am I?
She also said that it will be hard work and it will take time to do it but it can be done. She reminded me of how terrified I used to be of supermarkets but now I do it without a second thought and what used to scare me now doesn't. So I have to believe that I can overcome this as well in the same way.
So that was day 1 of CBT and I look forward to next week too.
Thanks for reading and I hope that some of this can help you too as it is all about changing thoughts at the end of the day. Face that fear as they say and don't let it beat you.
Nicola