Great news that you are finally starting the CBT and getting some help with your driving fears.
Although it will be hard work, I am sure you can do this and I wish you all the best with it.
Karen x
Great news that you are finally starting the CBT and getting some help with your driving fears.
Although it will be hard work, I am sure you can do this and I wish you all the best with it.
Karen x
Thanks Karen
You know how much I want to do this so I arrive at the meet-ups not shaking!
Nicola
Good luck Nicola, I hope the CBT helps. I wouldn't say I'm 100% ok with driving all the time now but having CBT has really helped me and driving is getting better for me all the time compared to how I was for the last two years since my accident, so it can really help.
Lisa
Well done and good luck Nic, hope you get everything you are hoping for from this.xxx
Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.
love from Alexisxx
Biggest hug to you - I too liked the supermarket story.
Well done mate
Piglet xxxxxxxxxxx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
I had my second session today so here’s an update.
Whilst some of this is only relevant to my driving problems there are some other things in this post that will benefit all sufferers so please do read on.
She has told me do this is in very, very small steps. If the starting goal is too big then the downfall is greater. I need to build up my confidence and work up from there. I need to go up and down the A1 a few times but avoid roadwork’s. I need to keep doing this on one stretch of road that does cause me some anxiety but not much and do it over and over and reassuring myself etc – more on that later.
I also need to get Alex to drive me through some roadwork’s that are currently on the A1 and see how I feel. She didn’t want me to try them straight off on my own in case it is too big a step. She said to go and see how achievable it was but don’t push myself too far just yet.
You basically have to keep doing the small steps until you are feeling that you are doing it ok then try something harder and stick at that. It needs to be ideal conditions to begin with e.g. in the day, not when dark, not when I am tired after work, not when I don’t feel very well etc. This means that I need to go and do most of it this weekend and then some work after work next week.
The general trend for improvement is to go along on a smooth line then up a step and up another step and then up 3 steps and then plateau out again. Sometimes I will go back down a step but then I just start again at that step. I won’t be back at stage one even though it will seem it.
Keep a diary of thoughts – what was I thinking, how did I view things, what symptoms did I feel, and what was I saying to myself. Maybe take a Dictaphone or make notes as soon as I can after the event. I need to write down thoughts mainly and what I was thinking and why.
Blips – we all get them but they are just that. Don’t view it as a setback and a downfall but as something that didn’t go as well. Measure it against how far you have come and you will see you are not back at square one again. Be kind to yourself - shout and scream or cry then get over it and move on. Don’t dwell on it and make it a big issue. We all have off days and may be more tired; feeling lower, sad etc - this could contribute.
Don’t push yourself too far and hard when you have had a bad day. If you fail then leave it for that day and try again the next day. Sometimes more harm is done by pushing.
Praise – I need to accept praise more often and even post about my successes on the forum. I said that I didn’t usually post cos it sounded so trivial so she said “Did I think all the other successes were trivial”. I said that of course I didn’t and I loved to hear about them so she asked why people would think mine were then! I also need to get Alex to praise me more and accept it.
Reward myself – treat myself when I achieve things and don’t trivialise them.
Thoughts – these are the going to be the hardest to change of all. I need to change the way I talk to myself and reassure myself that I am ok and I won’t die. It is a horrible feeling but I have had it before and it won’t kill me. It will pass and I can cope and I can deal with the physical symptoms – they won’t harm me either.
I tried this on the way home and it didn’t work very well. I drove down this road and didn’t like it at all. I tried to reassure myself but still felt the anxiety building. This is going to take some real working on.
Well that was it as far as I can remember. Next week I will take notes because sometimes I forget things she has said. Hope some of it has helped you.
Nicola
Hi Nic,
great to hear that you've started on this. I missed your first post as I was away.
All the very best of luck with it and get as much out of her as you can!!
I'm sure we all can relate to this scenario of the building anxiety despite trying to ignore it.<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I tried this on the way home and it didn’t work very well. I drove down this road and didn’t like it at all. I tried to reassure myself but still felt the anxiety building. This is going to take some real working on.</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
You've done it with supermarkets. It's the same process at work in your body. You can do it again. Like you say, small steps. They soon turn into big steps.
All the very best Nic, I'm rooting for you.
Cheers,
Trev
Ha Ha
She may be able to do all that but have you tried explaing how to copy and paste previous posts in here???
Pig - you know you can do it mate. copy and paste lol.
Thanks Trev - I know that you follow my progress too.
x
Nicola
Nic,
Glad its going ok
*I drove down this road and didn’t like it at all*
This has always been your achilles heel and your fall back saying.
It is really ok to not like it but it doesn't mean it needs to dissolve and spiral.
It will be uncomfortable and you will dislike it until you gain ground with new confidence and coping vigour.
Rootin' for you Nic
Love
Meg
Meg - what I really wanted was someone to sit in the car with me and do CBT but I guess I can't get that.
Talking about it is great and I leave all positive but when faced with the unknown I freak.
I guess I have to trust her and work with her.
Why can't they do therapists that do practical help not theoretical?
Nicola
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