Complaints Box: post your daily moans...

[KK77]

What the blazes are those mischievous gnomes up to now? I'll have their pottery heads off with your garden shovel

SWMBO said you needed "some fresh air and nature", and complained that you spent "too much time" travelling undercover on recce missions. I agreed I would give you a week's paid leave (generous I know)

---------Gardening Status: On road to gnome-where

NEXT!

[KK77]

We have received complaints about mirrors

I have looked into this matter and concluded that it is simply a reflection of people's own suspicions and unkempt hair

------Complaint Status: Reflecting on complaint

NEXT!

[KK77]

We have had complaints of certain emots levitating

Please rest assured we are working to get them down off their high.

Status: Airborne


NEXT!

[ErinKC]

My dishwasher is broken. I washed so many dishes today that I ran out of hot water.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Complaints are pouring in. The gnomes are revolting.

Indications are that services are to be pared back and severely denuded.

One hopes not to be left out on a limb.

Status: Branching out?

Yes, they are:



Oh, you mean that kind of revolting...



I blame Jeremy Corbyn, that's him being open hand slapped, he gets everywhere:

[KK77]

I have received complaints about those revolting gnomes revolting again in the Complaints garden

Could you please use your influence to stymie and quash this revolting revolution, Lord T?

Agt P is busy trimming her own bush this weekend

Status: Planning Gnomistics of action

NEXT!

[KK77]

We have received complaints about Agt P sloping. (All the complaints were issued by myself.) She was last seen sloping in her living room with a cuppa and is expected to stay there until she runs out of teabags and soya milk

Sloping Status: ~45 degrees

NEXT!

[KK77]

Agt P's sloping has reached vertical proportions and she's now gnome off the Complaints radar!

There are rumours she was abducted by a pesky gnome with a briefcase but they must gnome by now that KK doesn't pay ransoms

Status: Gnome alone

[whispershadow]

*puts in a formal complaint on this thread about paranoia*

[KK77]

*puts in a formal complaint on this thread about paranoia*

Your Complaint Status is pending and Paranoia is being held under suspicion of intrusion and trespassing

Final Action shall be posted in good time

NEXT!