Complaints Box: post your daily moans...

[bottleblond]

I can only do part time hours though BB because we're getting ready for the big move to Welsh Wales cariad, and with all the paperwork to get rid of I'll be manning the shredder over here. I'll probably be shredding the man at the end of it too

I'm off to Austria for a week next week to visit the man's family before we leave so will need holiday cover if that can be arranged. Tah muchly

Holiday cover!!...Are you insane?. No I'm afraid this just won't do agent Cath. Can't you postpone?. Like put everything on hold just for a week or so?.

Mullet is next to useless!. I asked him to replenish the urinal cakes but when he started foaming at the mouth and sneezing bubbles, I realise the greedy sod must have thought they were real cakes and scoffed them.

Del is busy hugging trees and talking to people wearing crash helmets. (Don't ask).

Fish is so remote, I can't even find him on the radar and Lola is sunning herself in New Zealand.

What is one to do?.

[Fishmanpa]

Fish is so remote, I can't even find him on the radar

Here I am! I'm the dot on the bottom left.

I've been inundated with Trump Complaints. The bad side is I haven't had time to check in but the compost pile has produced record numbers of bait and sales have been stupendous!

Complaint Status: Profitable!

[Catherine S]

Sorry BB, ive been practising my yodelling because i'm taking part in a yodelling competition whilst in Austria...first prize is a cow bell and a signed photo of Heidi, so I have to be there

[bottleblond]

Here I am! I'm the dot on the bottom left.

I've been inundated with Trump Complaints. The bad side is I haven't had time to check in but the compost pile has produced record numbers of bait and sales have been stupendous!

Complaint Status: Profitable!

In the name of the wee man, Fish!. Could you please un - remote yourself immediately and stop Trumping about. KK will have my guts for bait on his return if I don't get rid of this backlog of tosh. Oh "log"...I've just given myself a fab idea. Lets just flush the lot and hope he doesn't notice. If the Bogs get blocked, we can just say "Cath's" Yodelling has effected the complaints flow!.

Snorted.

---------- Post added at 22:55 ---------- Previous post was at 22:49 ----------

Sorry BB, ive been practising my yodelling because i'm taking part in a yodelling competition whilst in Austria...first prize is a cow bell and a signed photo of Heidi, so I have to be there

Yodelling!?...Is that what the noise was. Blimey, I thought next doors cat had gone in to season and was inviting fellow cats to join her. My bad.

If you win the cooo bell, can we have it for the office because we need something to distract Mullet from those urinal cakes?. He does like a good Ding done, Or so I've heard.

[Catherine S]

Yer can have the cow bell with pleasure, but the signed piccy of Heidi I'll be putting on ebay

[bottleblond]

Yer can have the cow bell with pleasure, but the signed piccy of Heidi I'll be putting on ebay

Deal

[KK77]

What in the Wee Man's name has been going on in my Complaints offices? I admit to a few (several hundred) parties myself while on foreign-shire soil but the mess and stink in here is horrific!

In fact, I met a tanned foreign-shire version of Busty Babs, who gave me a nasty bout of ****-***. Thankfully BB had packed the morning-after cream for me, but it doesn't 'alf sting

Now flush, crush, shred, burn and compost this backlog forthwith....you lazy, hedonistic swines

Status: Tanned

[yvonne_uk_98]

welcome back KK, glad to see someone putting order around here.

though been a good laugh, which has helped me a lot. its a great team you have.

this driver over took me, he/she was about to over take 4 cars, I distanced myself from the car, as I thought that is dangerous trying to over take 4 cars.

lots of cars coming in the opposite direction. I'm glad the car that was trying to over take 4 cars went straight on. I went to the left and drove home. what a relief.

[bottleblond]

What in the Wee Man's name has been going on in my Complaints offices? I admit to a few (several hundred) parties myself while on foreign-shire soil but the mess and stink in here is horrific!

In fact, I met a tanned foreign-shire version of Busty Babs, who gave me a nasty bout of ****-***. Thankfully BB had packed the morning-after cream for me, but it doesn't 'alf sting

Now flush, crush, shred, burn and compost this backlog forthwith....you lazy, hedonistic swines

Status: Tanned

Oh My!!..Was it a case of galloping N.R?. filthy swine!.

We it's good to have you back, boss!. I am now going to slope for as long as I can get away with it.

I've left your marigolds in your desk drawer and you will be in receipt of 6 vats of bleach, 30 Urinal cakes and some graffiti removal scrubs first thing in the morning. I hold my hands up to writing your mobile number on the ladies cubicles. Lil though us a little shindig and fish supplied way to much of that US alcohol he likes.

STATUS: White as a Scottish sheet

---------- Post added at 23:44 ---------- Previous post was at 21:01 ----------

UPDATE

It's most unfortunate but I have to inform you all that KK has had to enter a Decompression chamber. He was advised by his health professional (BB) to enter back into society slowly to enable him to ward off any foreign objects that may be lurking beneath his Mankini.

Also, Mogs has missed her Daddy so is keeping him company as they both watch "Bagpuss". KK's fav however Mogs prefers "Coyote Ugly"...Have to say, I'm with mogs on this one.

Anyhoo, Normal service shall resume tomorrow morning at 6 am.

If anyone has any complaints to complain about before then, please keep them to yourselves because quite frankly you should be asleep.

STATUS Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

[KK77]

I sure did gallop when I suspected the rots

Now, how much longer do I have to stay in this contraption? This mankini is cutting off my circulation and the Wee Man's gone to sleep

Status: Compressing