Complaints Box: post your daily moans...

[bottleblond]

Well I suppose you could come out now as long as you have contained your um "issues". Being grounded didn't to me any harm in the day (although I did jump out the window once or twice) NOT that I condone such behaviour.

Ok so now that you're free, Pop the kettle on and tell BB all about your adventures. P.s...I'll be round as soon as I've cleaned the poopy tray!. Bloomin kitty poops more than someone after a good Vindaloo.

[KK77]

I got Fish to remotely remove the graffiti with his laser as I kept getting calls about big poles. I said I only employed English-shire speaking staff, at which point they hung up. Ignorant swines pfft

Lord only (and the Wee Man) knows what you and Lil were scrawling on the bog walls

Now make me my mid-morning bacon butty and a nice English-shire brew, ta muchly

Status: Rogered out

NEXT!

[bottleblond]

I got Fish to remotely remove the graffiti with his laser as I kept getting calls about big poles. I said I only employed English-shire speaking staff, at which point they hung up. Ignorant swines pfft

Lord only (and the Wee Man) knows what you and Lil were scrawling on the bog walls

Now make me my mid-morning bacon butty and a nice English-shire brew, ta muchly

Status: Rogered out

NEXT!

Talking about Big poles. I was most shocked when I heard a Polish man swearing at the top of his voice (in Polish) at his two year old son coming out of Morrisons. The poor wee thing was crying his eyes out and all his dad could do was swear. Most inappropriate and unkind.

Sorry I missed your mid-morning bacon butty. I slightly over slept. Until 11.15

Myself and Lil have made a pact never to reveal what we wrote on the bog walls. (apart from your phone number)....Hope you haven't received any dodgy calls. Eeeek.

So you all set for tonights tele box watching at 9pm? I'll have your coffee and biccies ready for 8.55.

[KK77]

Talking about Big poles. I was most shocked when I heard a Polish man swearing at the top of his voice (in Polish) at his two year old son coming out of Morrisons. The poor wee thing was crying his eyes out and all his dad could do was swear. Most inappropriate and unkind.

Sorry I missed your mid-morning bacon butty. I slightly over slept. Until 11.15

Myself and Lil have made a pact never to reveal what we wrote on the bog walls. (apart from your phone number)....Hope you haven't received any dodgy calls. Eeeek.

So you all set for tonights tele box watching at 9pm? I'll have your coffee and biccies ready for 8.55.

Heard him swearing in Polish? I didn't know you had hidden language talents Hogs.... I have several hundred Polish complaints which I'd saved for Fish to compost when he was in the area remotely, but you now have the task of translating/deleting them

I'm all set for prog at 9pm. In fact we only received one complaint about it which has now been destroyed

Status: ****ed off

NEXT!

[bottleblond]

Heard him swearing in Polish? I didn't know you had hidden language talents Hogs.... I have several hundred Polish complaints which I'd saved for Fish to compost when he was in the area remotely, but you now have the task of translating/deleting them

I'm all set for prog at 9pm. In fact we only received one complaint about it which has now been destroyed

Status: ****ed off

NEXT!

Ahhh Benski works with Polish men. He gets on brilliantly with them and they have been teaching him the lingo over this past year or so. He's very good at it too. Of course he enjoys nothing more than then teaching me how to swear in Polish and Latvian so I do know a few naughty words. He asked me to ask you if you can speak it being the very talented person that you are.

Complaint, Pah..Don't shoot the messenger. INNIT.

Ummmm...What do you mean I have to translate and delete complaints?. I shall have to leave that one to Benski/Benito/Benni.

See ya after our Gogglebox viewing.

[KK77]

Ahhh Benski works with Polish men. He gets on brilliantly with them and they have been teaching him the lingo over this past year or so. He's very good at it too. Of course he enjoys nothing more than then teaching me how to swear in Polish and Latvian so I do know a few naughty words. He asked me to ask you if you can speak it being the very talented person that you are.

Complaint, Pah..Don't shoot the messenger. INNIT.

Ummmm...What do you mean I have to translate and delete complaints?. I shall have to leave that one to Benski/Benito/Benni.

See ya after our Gogglebox viewing.

Nope and nada. I speak only English-shire and a few words of Scottish-shire. Canny think of the rest

Once the complaints have been translated (and destroyed), could you clean the Tardis too, as I have a meeting in Mongolia at 09:77 hrs and the shagpile needs a wee shake n vac

Oh....and stick the kettle on will ya

Status:

[KK77]

I wish to complain about BEARDS! You know, those nasty growths springing from an otherwise good-looking male

They will take over the world unless there is a TOTAL ban henceforth. BAN them I say, BB

Status: Starting up chainsaw

NEXT!

[bottleblond]

UPDATE

Complaints manual. Page 999, paragraph 87...

ALL beards and facial hair longer than 10mm has now been completely banned. Anyone caught sporting such a fashion accessory will be shaved immediately followed by a hot wax in the offending area.

STATUS: Footloose and hair free.

NEXT...

[KK77]

UPDATE

Complaints manual. Page 999, paragraph 87...

ALL beards and facial hair longer than 10mm has now been completely banned. Anyone caught sporting such a fashion accessory will be shaved immediately followed by a hot wax in the offending area.

STATUS: Footloose and hair free.

NEXT...

Sterling job BB! I know the Complaints Manual is nearly 1,000 pages long but needs must when it comes to such important global affairs

I'll stick the kettle on while you grab the biccies

Status: Have a hair-free day!

[bottleblond]