Complaints Box: post your daily moans...

[KK77]

I have searched the Complaints Database and found ONE solution to all your long-haired cat complaints:

1. Shave it off.

Now, I have the shredder on so who would like to go first? Don't be shy - it will all be over in a few sharp rotations

Shredder Status: In operation

NEXT!

[BlueIris]

Normally Sweeney quite likes the clippers on him, but I don't think he fancies the full back, crack and (empty) sac.

[KK77]

Normally Sweeney quite likes the clippers on him, but I don't think he fancies the full back, crack and (empty) sac.

I see. Understandable that he'd rather not go under the knife today, but thank you for volunteering in his place

So how would you like it, Mrs B? Short back and sides?

[BlueIris]

It's okay, I'm happy being hairy. I'm sure plenty of users here would appreciate being really, hygienically clean, though

[whispershadow]

Can I complain about mental illness?i want it to go away NOW please

[MyNameIsTerry]

I have searched the Complaints Database and found ONE solution to all your long-haired cat complaints:

1. Shave it off.

Now, I have the shredder on so who would like to go first? Don't be shy - it will all be over in a few sharp rotations

Shredder Status: In operation

NEXT!

If you can do something about this I would be very grateful

[KK77]

If you can do something about this I would be very grateful

Thank you for your complaint, Mr T. I entered it into the Complaints Supercomputer and it came up with 3 solutions:

1. Take up tree-hugging. (Please use protection to avoid making another complaint re tree-borne infections.)
2. Buy a chainsaw and cut it down. (Please bear in mind which way it will fall or you could be on Uranus reading this.)
3. Put lanterns around tree and turn it into a pagan tourist attraction. You could charge a fee or accept donations (deposited into Complaints Account). Think of all those naked bodies chanting around a giant ar$ehole!

I do hope you get to the bottom of this in good time

KK

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thanks KK, option 3 selected. I've had to put carefully directed signage along the roads as on the first attempt they just ended up confused dancing around Jacob Rees-Mogg's mansion

[Lola-Lee]

Ba!Ha!Ha!

I like option 3anything for a buck.

[KK77]

Ba!Ha!Ha!

I like option 3anything for a buck.

I nearly misread that and spat my coffee out my gob

Status: Going for quick ****


NEXT!