Complaints Box: post your daily moans...

[pulisa]

Have had to book plumber for 0830 start tomorrow due to severe backlog of crappage and persistent, unrelenting dripfeed of detritus which is clogging our previously pristine operations' cistern.

Malfunctioning ballcock or a deliberate attempt to sabotage the smooth functioning of our Faecal Detox Programme? Those who are responsible will be Brought To Justice... to She Who Must Be Obeyed.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Have had to book plumber for 0830 start tomorrow due to severe backlog of crappage and persistent, unrelenting dripfeed of detritus which is clogging our previously pristine operations' cistern.Malfunctioning ballcock or a deliberate attempt to sabotage the smooth functioning of our Faecal Detox Programme? Those who are responsible will be Brought To Justice... to She Who Must Be Obeyed.

Faecals For Justice in a poo emoji costume

[KK77]

HA Files

I had to take a No 2 and had the overwhelming urge to look in the bowl to inspect my poo when I finished. To my utter horrror it was ----- -------!

Should I call 111 or go to A&E, as seeing a poo MOVE on its own is obviously serious, right?

Really scared :(

[AntsyVee]

Wow, this thread turned gross :S Hi, ya'll

[KK77]

Wow, this thread turned gross :S Hi, ya'll

Welcome back, Miss Vee. Umm....would you be interested in a bog cleaning job? Crap pay but you'd float along nicely

[MyNameIsTerry]

HA Files

I had to take a No 2 and had the overwhelming urge to look in the bowl to inspect my poo when I finished. To my utter horrror it was ----- -------!

Should I call 111 or go to A&E, as seeing a poo MOVE on its own is obviously serious, right?

Really scared :(

Nasty dumping?

[AntsyVee]

Welcome back, Miss Vee. Umm....would you be interested in a bog cleaning job? Crap pay but you'd float along nicely

As long as I can take my giant donut floatie and my beer hat... No floatie and no beer make Vee go crazy.

[pulisa]

HA Files

I had to take a No 2 and had the overwhelming urge to look in the bowl to inspect my poo when I finished. To my utter horrror it was ----- -------!

Should I call 111 or go to A&E, as seeing a poo MOVE on its own is obviously serious, right?

Really scared :(

Disco Dancing? Blimey! I have heard this can be caused by an infestation of parasites but I'd go to A&E just to get things checked out. Take a sample along as well...if you can catch it. Maybe with a goldfish net? Good luck and let us know how you get on. No wonder you felt that your guts were churning..

[KK77]

Disco Dancing? Blimey! I have heard this can be caused by an infestation of parasites but I'd go to A&E just to get things checked out. Take a sample along as well...if you can catch it. Maybe with a goldfish net? Good luck and let us know how you get on. No wonder you felt that your guts were churning..

So, I caught it in a jam jar and made an emergency appointment with my GP who said he'd never seen such a motion before and to remain seated until it passes

Still worried this could sway me in all directions :(

Anyone else had this?

[pulisa]

I hope this doesn't mean you could become a floating voter with all the flatulence infiltrating the metropolis at the moment?

Maybe becoming Downwardly Mobile is the way to go in these hard times?

I'm sure someone else will be able to offer you some alimentary advice regarding taming your motion?