Complaints Box: post your daily moans...

[KK77]

Melancholia I would like to say that you always make us laugh with your complaints posts, even although you are having a low period at the moment and your sleeping pattern is rubbish. I hope you get it all sorted out and start to feel better as you don't deserve to feel like this.
Myra x

Thank you Myra. I will get through it - we can't let it win! Laughter is an excellent remedy but sometimes it doesn't go far enough. Thanks for your support. Mel will be back to his former self soon...

[bottleblond]

Lordy lordy lordy

I slope away for a few days and come back to my 'in tray' absolutely stock piled with complaints. The office is an absolute mess too. There is dust everywhere, beer cans and pizza boxes all over the place, the milk bottles have not been put out for a week and god only knows what has been happening in the mens loos.

I have noticed a few of these complaints are about people being down and just feeling generaly poop. The only advice i can give for this is not to loose heart. We all get these horrible blips and even though we don't feel like it at the moment, it will pass.

Now where on earth do i begin with this lot?..........................

[suzy-sue]

Now heres a lady who can give us all some lessons in the art of complaining..Please turn up your volume ....
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWwoq21jKZ4&feature=youtube_gdata


Sue x

[bottleblond]

Lmfao Sue love it.

[StandFree1903]

complaint = my head hurts :(

[bottleblond]

Hi Standfree.

You complaint has been noted and reviewed where upon we advise 2 paracetamol and a glass of cold water. Failing that, An early night with a good book.

Lisa aka Bottleblond no 'e'

[bottleblond]

Please excuse my collegues absence this evening.

Mick aka Mike aka Muck aka Brenda has gone off for a dress fitting. It was supposed to take one hour tops but on reaching down to zip up his... um... her knee high stillettoe boots, the garment somehow managed to spilt itself in two right down the backside meaning the whole process has to start again from scratch.

Mel however has gone to his annual star trek convention sporting a very fetching Dr Spock outfit, complete with raised eyebrows and pointed ears. He and his fellow trekkies are now sitting down to a 5 course meal in the 'Live long and prosper inn' just past the 'Mork and Mindy' hotel in south London.

I however am left in the office at stupid o'clock trying to clean up what is left of a broken shredder, a blocked toilet, a whole weeks worth of complaints and a very unhappy cat.

Sigh, oh well upwards and onwards i suppose!!

[KK77]

I just sloped into the office for 5 mins where I found Miss BB (no e) chatting on the phone about uniforms for hire and a club called “Swinging Sensations”. I heard the name Big Rodger referred to a number of times re some unprintable act. I quickly sloped out in horror followed by our complaints cat Miffy, who was equally miffed by all this debauchery.

I removed my Spock gear only to find that my ears have remained pointed and wondered whether any other members have suffered from this before. I asked Brenda about this but she just took the Mick pffffft.

Am I cursed with Spock ears forever? Please help!

[bottleblond]

Cloth ears tsk.....

yes indeed you did hear the above conversation but may i now present you with the innocent explaination....


'Swinging Sensations' is to be the location for our next 'Complaints Ball', which will be hosted by 'Big Roger', the biggest complainer in the west. He has several trophies/medals and even a special ball gown for the occassion. All was arranged by Brenda but i was just putting the final touches to the event.

I have no idea what you THOUGH you were hearing you mucky pup.

[KK77]

Phew! My ears have now reverted back to normal position and shape after hearing your innocent explanation... And I thought you were into all that *ahem* tsk tsk.

So YOU will be holding Big Rodger's balls from now on? That explains it, then. Last year Brenda held them and she hasn't been the same since

Oh well, better get back to my friends at the convention.