Complaints Box: post your daily moans...

[bottleblond]

[NoPoet]

Heh. The screaming, oily cat. It sounds like something from Lovecraft's darkest nightmare.

I've been doing some delivering today and my sat nav insisted that I had to squeeze my 18 foot long car down a bridleway barely wide enough for a large horse, so I pulled up next to a girl walking her dog and said, "Excuse me attractive blonde girl walking dog. Do you know where (address) is please?" She laughed and told me the directions (which turned out to be slightly wrong). My complaint is that I didn't ask her for her number. Any girl who can show a sense of humour when a random bloke calls her "attractive blonde girl walking dog" is the kind of girl who was designed for me.

EDIT: I once asked a female shop assistant for help, addressing her as "red-haired shop assistant with nice legs". She was falling over herself to help me pick a pair of jeans that, and I quote, "Don't make my arse look like a bowl of play-dough poured into a nappy".

[NoPoet]

PP: Nope, still don't see it I'm afraid. *No action taken*

Some handy pointers included below:

[KK77]

Heh. The screaming, oily cat. It sounds like something from Lovecraft's darkest nightmare.

I've been doing some delivering today and my sat nav insisted that I had to squeeze my 18 foot long car down a bridleway barely wide enough for a large horse, so I pulled up next to a girl walking her dog and said, "Excuse me attractive blonde girl walking dog. Do you know where (address) is please?" She laughed and told me the directions (which turned out to be slightly wrong). My complaint is that I didn't ask her for her number. Any girl who can show a sense of humour when a random bloke calls her "attractive blonde girl walking dog" is the kind of girl who was designed for me.

EDIT: I once asked a female shop assistant for help, addressing her as "red-haired shop assistant with nice legs". She was falling over herself to help me pick a pair of jeans that, and I quote, "Don't make my arse look like a bowl of play-dough poured into a nappy".

Thank you Poet. Your complaint has been noted and we have arranged for a few more brain cells to be transplanted at your nearest NHS Hospital. These cells are individually cultured and grown to guard against absent-minded lapses, like asking for those vital details.

(I have also arranged for some myself so see you there.)

Complaint closed.

[KK77]

Some handy pointers included below:

OK, see it somewhat now.

Noted as a partial complaint (which has an average waiting time of 22.1 years).

BB will be straight onto it (in 22.1 years).

Action: pending

[bottleblond]

Wishes to be considered for some additional brain cells too please.
Well lets face it, someone will have to come along to make sure you and PP behave with all those young nurses about!!.

BB

[KK77]

BB, I booked you and Brenda in for that already - this is the umpteenth time Last time, I could hear the screams from my house when they undressed Brenda in the cubicle

[NoPoet]

I can't misbehave with anyone - I died bravely in combat against a Soul Claimer. This has ruined my day.

[NoPoet]

How the *&@£ did I miss this??

Missy....can you come to oz and massage my legs....please.

I'll do it!! *Catches plane*

[KK77]

Oh, some peace and quiet at last in the complaints department...

Sue, your beret is still here in the office. I have put my nuts into it as we have no bowls left after BB smashed them all in anger after she lost to Brenda in naked darts last week My nuts fit really well in it actually

The complaints department is now closed until BB slopes in tomorrow.

(All emergency complaints can be sent to the serious complaints department which will just send them back here.)