Getting out of control

[alihud]

Hi there.Alot of you know me and i am geting really low again.As some of you know i split with my husband four years ago next month.Since then i have been from one man to another,so many i have now lost count.I am now pretty sure i have a serious problem because i just cannot stop the cycle and its really affecting my health.I meet the most appalling men and i seem to have lost my judgement.I have contratced two st'ds already and i'm getting very frightened because i cannot see an end to it all.I tired having counselling earlier last year but i went straight back into my old behaviour and have been hurt dreadfully.You may ask why do i keep doing this to myself and i agree,you would think i could stop but i can't.Today i have been made to look like a stupid fool yet again.I can't even write what has happened.My only saving grace is that i will never get involved with a married man because of how i was torn apart by my husbands affair.My self esteem is at rock bottom now.I know what i have to do but i just cannot seem to stick to it.I cannot afford to see the previous counsellor i was seeing and the docs counseeling service is booked up for six months.I am at my wits end i really am.
Ali

[Piglet]

Oh Ali hun I am so sorry to hear you feel like this.

It sounds to me like (and I am no expert) that it boils down to needing affection more than anything else. Often when we need to feel loved and wanted its easy to fall into the trap of mixing it up with a 'bit of the other'[:I]!!!

You are not the first to go down that path mate, I am sure quite a few have been there to lesser or greater degrees.

I think while you are waiting for some professional advice/help to become available I would work on some self-esteem issues.

I sound like a broken record this week keep going on about Glenn Harrold cd's but his 'Self-esteem' one really hits the mark for me and also adresses relaxation at the same time.

Big hug.

Piglet xxx



"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[clickaway]

Hi Ali,

I think piglet is probably right. You crave for affection despite of all the upsets you have had. Maybe your craving overrules your better judgement and it all ends in tears.

I know your life is constrained by hours and commitments, but could you find some kind of social grouping where the temptation of men did not rear its head. I'm not necessarily suggesting a sewing circle, but one which is predominately female.

Here, you could find friendship and be valued, as from what we've said in the past you need to raise the value of your self-worth.

You've done so well for yourself, and I don't wanna see you like this so get it sorted hun!

You know where I am...

Take Care,

Ray

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[alihud]

Thankyou Ray and Piglet to take the time to reply You r both right it is the affection thing but i guess i have to look inside myself for that.Luckily both my children are very affectionate,we are very close but i'm also aware i cannot get all my needs from them.As a child i was starved of affection due to one reason or another,i think parenting in those days was very different to how it is now but boy what an effect it has had on me!Bu t the funny thing is when i meet someone who is truly affectionate i can't cope,its just so ridiculous.I think i may have found some counselling that is geared to how much you can afford which is great.Thing is i know why i am doing this what i need is support to help me stop just like any other addiction.I think at times like this i have to keep focusing on all the good in my life and i will look for a group of some sort to get involved with but i can only really do sundays because of having the children all week.Cheers both of you and i hope you are both ok too.
Ali xxxxx

[alexis]

Hi Ali, sorry things arent right, I know how you feel etc from talking to you, will catch you later on msn, but big hugs pet.xxx

Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.


love from Alexisxx

[trac67]

Hi Ali,

I know exactly where you are coming from, I stuck out two bad marriages for far too long, both times, rather than be on my own. The thought of it being just me and the girls scared the hell out of me, I then went into a relationship that wasn't idea but again seemed better then being on my own.

I have now come to realise that being by myself isn't actually as bad as I thought it would be, I get all my hugs that I need from my girls, and I don't have to answer to anyone, I can do what I want when I want and I have begun to enjoy my own company and to begin to finally like myself, all I need to do is now find my self esteem again and I am sorted LOL.

Do you have a good friend or a circle of friends that you socialise with?
As I always say relationships come and go true friends are for life.

Just remind yourself you are worth more than one night stands, and you will find that special person one day, we all will.

Pm me any time if you need a chat mate.

Take care

Trac XX

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[kairen]

Hi Ali,

You know where i am if you want to chat poor thing i know you have been through the mill with men,

just remember you could always try the pigs trotter LOL

catch you soon pet chin up your worth so much better than all of them

xxx


kairen x