ARE YOU TOKOPHOBIC - extreme fear of pregnancy/childbirth

[Landmark Films]

Do any of these phrases ring true for you, if so I'd love to hear from you:

ARE YOU TOKOPHOBIC?
DO YOU HAVE A DEEP-SEATED FEAR OF PREGNANCY AND/OR CHILDBIRTH?
HAS THIS FEAR BEEN SINCE CHILDHOOD (primary tokophobia) & YOU HAVE YET TO HAVE A CHILD?
ARE YOU SCARED OF GETTING PREGNANT THAT YOU DOUBLE UP ON CONTRACEPTION
DOES THE SIGHT OF A PREGNANT WOMAN FILL YOU WITH DREAD?
DID YOUR PHOBIA START AFTER A TRAUMATIC BIRTH (secondary tokophobia)?
WOULD YOU DEMAND A C-SECTION DUE TO THIS FEAR?
HOW DOES THIS FEAR IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE AND RELATIONSHIPS?

I work as a development producer at Landmark Films (www.landmarkfilms.com) in Oxford, England. We make documentary singles and series for all the major broadcasters including BBC1, BBC2, BBC3, an Ch4. In fact, we recently made My Child Won't Speak (on selective mutism, a phobia of speaking) which aired on BBC1 to great ratings and reviews. We also have a history of one-off docs on medical conditions and phobias.

I am now developing a documentary idea on tokophobia and have interest from a couple of broadcasters in commissioning a one-off film on this phobia.

I'm keen to speak in confidence to women who have tokophobia or suffer from an extreme fear of pregnancy and/or birth phobic. This is fear beyond the normal anxiety that women experience. It can be so strong that it prevents women from even trying to get pregnant.

Please do get in touch if you suffer from tokophobia or know someone who would be willing to talk to me.

I am looking for birth phobics who may or may not have had children.

As mentioned this is just at an ideas stage, but I'd love to talk to you in confidence if you're happy to. The best number to get me on is the mobile 07984 169 859 as I work from home or email emma@landmarkfilms.com.

I look forward to hearing from you.
best
Emma Goddard
Producer, Landmark Films

[bubbles09]

Hi There

I found this thread by a Google search as I suffer from Tokophobia and am at my wits end. I love babies but as I got older this fear has got worse and I thought the only way I could deliver was by c-section but even that petrifies me. I know I can never have a natural birth and when I see friends and family having babies it breaks my heart as I cant see me ever going through it even though I would love to more than anything.

Until recently I couldnt touch someones tummy who was pregnant but my friend who gave birth today helped me to touch her tummy a couple of weeks ago, it wasnt as bad as I thought but still makes me feel strange.

I have had nightmares where I am in labour or pregnant and I have woken up completely panicking and distraught thinking it is real. This is taking over my life and lately have found it harder than ever as I am getting older and just dont know what to do. I went to the drs for help but they referred me to someone who didnt know what they could do with me!!!

I am happy to give any more info and welcome any help and advice you could give me!!

[ladybird64]

Hi there Bubbles

I think this thread might interest you and give you some hope and the reassurance that you are not alone with this fear.

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=63835

to NMP

[Renashka]

Hi,
I believe I am severely tokophobic. I only in the last year found out about it. I am only 19 but i have been with my boyfriend 2 years and we often talk about the future. Due to my intense fear my whole life since year 5 of primary school so i was about 9 or 10 has been i never want children. To which parents will say you will one day we all said that at your age. Yet i knew i didn't want children ever!
Well my view has changed now, i do want children in the furture, especially a baby girl, im not fussed about having a boy but ideally i would like a girl and a boy but i definitely want a girl i have a name ready and everything!
Like i said im 19 and even though it will be years before i am married and can have children it scares me every time i see a pregnant woman, or a birth documentary.
It started at home with my mum and nan always being honest about childbirth and saying they wont lie its the worst pain you can ever experience. Although the pain scares me what scares me the most is having people looking at my bit! Im fine with my boyfriend but if anyone else tried id deck them!! I dont even wear shorts or skirts through insecurities so defo not letting people see my v-jay!
When i found out that you can poo during birth that became a hell no for me forever. In front of all those people! and your husband! I know drs wont think bad of you but it isnt the point for me i just could never do it.
I used to think when i was younger if i ever got pregnant i would have an abortion and adopt.
Since fining my soulmate however i understand the feeling you get now where you actually WANT a specific persons babies. So that has made me scared as as much as i want children with him one day at the same time i cannot go through childbirth!!
I believe i will be fine during pregnancy but i reckon the last month or so i will be hysterical and like its a ticking bomb!!.
However, i told my boyfriend this and how i feel and said after reseaching i seem to be tokophobic. He was really understanding and he said when the time comes he will only do what im comfortable with.
Then some good news came to me. I was expressing my fears to my mum about the whole thing as both she and my nan had problems during birth with the placenta getting stuck and then they lost a lot of blood and could have died and i hate the thought of dying and leaving a sad partner to cope with a new baby. My mum said about c-sections and that due to family history i may be able to get one anyway!
So, did more researching and it seems doctors these days are being more helpful and understanding and allowing women c-sections on the NHS if they are tokophobic! this brings me so much relief like a huge weight has been lifted because i love babies once they are born, when my little sister was born i was mad about her dressing her feeding her and buying her teddies and i love children! so i was always sad id have to adopt and never have my own but now i know i can!
Also my boyfriend said if the doctor ever said no to c-section he would pay for me to go private and i would have one and id be completely asleep then wake up to a beautiful baby!
My depression and anxiety means i could never be awake through it id be sick and tremble. I went for an endoscopy one and i was shaking and sweating and it was horrible!
I hope any women out there like me find a way! my friends always tell me im being stupid but i know im not and im glad now help is available so now the future thought of one day having a baby doesnt terrify me i know find i cant wait to meet my future daughter and son