Hugs needed

[danielled]

Hi guys. On tuesday night my nan died and I never got to say goodbye and I need hugs alot of my family got to say goodbye but me. I loved her so much and feel lost without her. I can't believe she's gone.

[Brianthesnail]

sorry mate .
thing will get better for you.
At this time you mite not think it will.
just look at the good time you had with your nan.

brian

[staypositive]

Aww thats awful, I'm sorry to hear about your loss :(

I hope you feel better soon, try and think of the good times you had with your Nan.

I hope you feel better soon ((Hugs))

[alias_kev]

Hey Danielled. Sorry to hear this. It can be hard if you don't get to say a special goodbye. The one good thing is that hopefully your memory of her won't be cluttered by seeing her looking ill/frail/hospitalised. Sometimes that is a blessing. I feel sure she knew how much you loved her in life.

Something you might do is write her a letter which can be placed in the coffin, or her pocket. That's quite common and something the funeral director's will usually be glad to help with. Obviously it becomes more of a spiritual or mental letter but it does help to symbolise and focus your love for her. My niece in canada did this.

Its a complex time for feelings & visits. My mum & dad were probably more your nan's age and both passed away in the last 18 months. Its never easy. I was minding mum when she passed, but not actually beside her as we had no real idea of if it would be hours or days (or even weeks). Often we don't get given enough advice by Drs about how long someone has - mainly cos they don't want to get it wrong I think. Dad pretty much caught up by surprise too and he was in hospital.

Remember too that its quite appropriate for you to feel sad/cry/angry/etc. Sometimes all at once. Some people may not feel the emotions until a later time. Both are normal. Dad's passing affected one of my teenage children far too much, more than Dad would have ever wanted - so its also important to not let the grief take over your life indefinitely. I doubt your Nan would have wanted that.

Hope that helps
Kevin

[danielled]

I'm not pleased with her doctor at the minute he has denied seeing her and he saw her a week before she died he has seen her a number of times while she was ill my dad told me. I couldn't get to her as I was in hospital ill myself.

[alias_kev]

Sorry to hear you were in hospital yourself. Not a nice combination of events. Hope you are getting better. Like I said I am sure that your Nan knew your love, I can sense it from what/how you write.

Sounds odd with the GP. This kind of unhelpfulness/oddness is the last thing anyone needs, let alone those of us with anx/dep. He may be avoiding doing the death certificate which is a bit weird. As I understand things even with a long ongoing illness its assumed a Dr will have seen them in the final week(s), as they have to certify that it was the cause of death. Sorry you have this to trouble you as well.

Oddly mum's GP was quite helpful the last year or so, but was awful while dad was alive.... Used to ignore their concerns presumably cos he was old & anxious. With my mum both a locum and the local GP saw her in the week prior to her death as she'd been unwell one night and then never really ate/drank/woke properly in the following week. She had bad Alzheimers and would often skip 24 hours about once or twice a fortnight. So we called them when she exceeded the normal pattern.

Take Care. Do post/PM if you need to get anything out of your head.

[danielled]

Sorry to hear you were in hospital yourself. Not a nice combination of events. Hope you are getting better. Like I said I am sure that your Nan knew your love, I can sense it from what/how you write.

Sounds odd with the GP. This kind of unhelpfulness/oddness is the last thing anyone needs, let alone those of us with anx/dep. He may be avoiding doing the death certificate which is a bit weird. As I understand things even with a long ongoing illness its assumed a Dr will have seen them in the final week(s), as they have to certify that it was the cause of death. Sorry you have this to trouble you as well.

Oddly mum's GP was quite helpful the last year or so, but was awful while dad was alive.... Used to ignore their concerns presumably cos he was old & anxious. With my mum both a locum and the local GP saw her in the week prior to her death as she'd been unwell one night and then never really ate/drank/woke properly in the following week. She had bad Alzheimers and would often skip 24 hours about once or twice a fortnight. So we called them when she exceeded the normal pattern.

Take Care. Do post/PM if you need to get anything out of your head.

I'm slowly recovering. Everything has gone pair shaped lately.

[ElizabethJane]

Danielled I hope that you feel supported in your loss. EJ

[margaret jones]

to you danielle stay strong xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[danielled]

to you danielle stay strong xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you I'll try and stay strong but I'm finding it hard was abut to reply but computer felt the need to boot me off the internet. I will try my best.