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Thread: its TRUE - acceptance overcomes anxiety - read this!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    877

    its TRUE - acceptance overcomes anxiety - read this!

    i had to post this because i am truly hoping it will help all of you on here. i have suffered anxiety since a child really but had my first breakdown at 22 - i did not leave the sofa for several weeks - blinding migraines and fear kept me gripped to it - i really had no idea what was wrong with me and had EVERY symptom of anxiety. after a few months on antidpressants i felt much improved and stopped them overnight but had not dealt with fear of fear or the stress in my life. i relapsed again and in the middle of this split with my partner, lost my job, my home, my cat - i was at rock bottom but managed with beta blockers. The next few years were spent feeling terrible - i was always obsessing about something but i did not recognise this is an anxiety problem. I also suffered a lot of health complaints. I had another break down at 27 and have been on antidepressants - only a low dose of 20mg ever since. I then had another breakdown a few years ago when trying to come off my antidepressants and so was put on another. I have had counselling and cbt.

    OK - NOW FOR THE IMPORTANT BIT!

    I have finally realised that in the 12 years i have been suffering - i have never truly faced my fear of fear and overcome it! yes - i have read the books - yes i have read how to change my thoughts but i wanted my anxiety to go away just by reading information BUT not putting in the hard work myself! Every time the fear came back i literally rushed to the doctors in tears because i did not want to suffer a second longer - i wanted it all to go away NOW. I also did not want to try accepting in case it did not work because not to fight goes against your instincts.

    3 weeks ago i started to recognise anxiety was creeping up on me again and by the time i went on holiday - i was in full panic mode - brain racing constantly, fear so bad i shook - i could not eat - i was ringing my mum everyday in floods of tears and felt so bad i felt a trip to the doctors was inevitable. HOWEVER - i read my claire weekes book and at last a life by paul david and i thought - right - doctors stress me - i really do not want to go down that route and changing onto another ssri will only make me feel horrendous anyway until they start to kick in so why not practice acceptance for a few weeks and see how i go?

    Anyway - it took me a few days to get my head round acceptance and realising that every single time i had negative thoughts such as - i am never going to get better, this is awful, i need another ssri etc was only adding more panic and then i really did start trying to accept it - yes i felt terrible all the time but after a few days of just labelling my thoughts instead of acting on them or believing them or changing them from - i will never get better - to things like - i feel bad now but i can get better - i started to notice a difference. Instead of panic being a 10 - it was coming down to a 7/8 and when it increased back to 10 - i rode it out without adding more fear/fearful thoughts. Within a week i was feeling more balanced and having no more "attacks" - my mind was still racing but definitely quieter and i was even getting short periods in between anxiety when i felt normal and could think normally too.

    It is 2 weeks since i came back from holiday in the middle of a major relapse and apart from an hour of anxiety yesterday - i am virtually anxiety free. yes - i am having to watch my thoughts - i have realised that i think very negatively and speak to myself shockingly in my mind at times and so this will be a long term project! I have also realised that i tend to heap stress on myself and never make time to relax etc and if you do these kind of things then no med is going to change this for you - you need to find ways of doing it yourself and so i am meditating every day, making sure i spend time winding down on an evening etc. yes - i am still on 10mg ssri but i have not upped my dose - i have not done anything but take an odd beta blocker but ACCEPT my symptoms and let them be there. because i know this approach works i am now going to wean myself off that and use the same approach - it seems to easy/good to be true but if you can truly do what these books ask you - yes - you will continue to feel as bad for maybe up to 2 weeks longer but yuo will start to see improvements quickly and then the more confident you feel - the more you want to accept so you can literally watch yourself improving.

    For those of you who think - i am worse than you - i cannot do it - i have spent nearly 13 years of my life being dictated by anxiety and breakdowns as well as very severe physical symptoms as a result (i had migraine for 3 years straight) and so do not spend a minute longer fighting or getting distressed about your symptoms because this you are keeping yourself prisoner!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    877

    Re: its TRUE - acceptance overcomes anxiety - read this!

    i also wanted to add that i suffered very intrusive thoughts - ocd, hurting myself/others etc - which i found very distressing - i used the same approach with these too and i can see them for what they are - just thoughts.

    2 weeks ago i was getting a couple of hours sleep a night at the most, could not eat, lost 1/2 stone, heart racing, brain racing so fast i thought i was insane, nothing made sense, depersonalisation, shaking and panic so bad i could not escape for a second - acceptance has improved them 90% in 2 weeks!!!! but you need to keep going - EVERY time you feel a stab or wave of fear - or think a negative thought - you need to reassure yourself, talk nicely to yourself and simply accept it - it will ALL LIFT!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    162

    Re: its TRUE - acceptance overcomes anxiety - read this!

    Hi Joannap,

    I found what you wrote very interesting. Im currently going through a very rough patch, anxiety everyday. So when you get a negative thought, I get all the what if's....i.e. what if this happens or that happens and I wont cope etc you just accept you are thinking that and feeling panicky? I find it very hard not to act on the thought i.e. not to go through 100's of options to make sure I can cope with the 'what if' and usually eventually get too overwhelmed.
    It seems scarey to just accept the thoughts and feelings without doing anything about them? I mean the thoughts can set in a panic response in my body that feels out of control.
    I have been thinking of getting the Claire Weekes book as other people on here have talked about it, what is it called?
    Im glad to hear that it has worked for you. I have decided over the last few days that I will just accept the funny little things I do, to help me calm down without saying to myself 'what you are doing is odd' as that just makes me feel bad.

    Verity
    xxx

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    268

    Re: its TRUE - acceptance overcomes anxiety - read this!

    wow, so glad this is working for you, sounds like you are determined to accept and move on so well done to you. I think I need to re-read claire weekes and see if I can maybe try to put into action some of her advice! I hope you continue to improve

  5. #5

    Re: its TRUE - acceptance overcomes anxiety - read this!

    Hi Joanna,
    wow what a great post you sound very similar to me, ive also had anxiety since i was a child but had a breakdown at 17, ive also suffered similar setbacks over the years but have drastically improved in the last 7 years. I also think acceptance is the key, and understanding helps to bring this. I also have suffered with intrusive thoughts similar to yours. I remember reading Claire Weekes book for the first time years ago and burst into tears because at last i new there was hope. Another good book is The anxiety trap by Terri Conley and i also have her CD which is brilliant and explains everything similar to Claire Weekes really. I wish you well with your recovery as im sure your on the right road now.
    Louise

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    877

    Re: its TRUE - acceptance overcomes anxiety - read this!

    hi guys - thanks for your replies - verity - you truly need to do nothing - that is they way forward - at first i thought - what if i fall to pieces - what if get worse by doing nothing - what if giving in means giving up but it doesn't happen - giving in means producing less adrenalin and so gradually you start to calm down. let the scary thoughts be there but just see them as thoughts - we are so used to scaring ourselves with our thoughts that we think they are TRUE. when i thought - oh god - i'll have to go to the doctors - when i actually turned it around and thought - do i really - what if i can get through this on my own - it was a revelation because i was so used to not challenging them - this does not mean you have to change very thought - just the main ones - try to accept the rest. it does take a few days but the only way to calm your nerves and get yourself out of the cycle of anxiety is to just let it be there and try not to add any more fear to it - yes - you have the fear but when you repond to fear with more fear and fearful thoughts - you are actually adding it yourself and this is what is keeping you in the fear cycle. without adding fear - the underlying fear - the initial fear burns itself out but it takes a few days of truly accepting and feeling as bad as ever before you start to see improvements.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    237

    Re: its TRUE - acceptance overcomes anxiety - read this!

    I'm going through some intense anxiety at present and I'm finding your post reassuring, thank you, joanna.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    148

    Re: its TRUE - acceptance overcomes anxiety - read this!

    Hi joanna, great post.

    I too have fully recovered from severe anxiety and always like to see positive posts like yours so that people know that there is hope !

    It sounds like you've done very well for yourself and the bit "yes I have to watch my thoughts" really struck a chord with me as that was my real turning point also. I'd like to recommend that everyone struggling with anxiety read "the mindfulness and acceptance workbook for anxiety" I can't post a link as I am on my iPhone but if you just google it you should find it for free on google books though you can also buy it on amazon for around £11, it'll be the best money you ever spend! It's kind of like claire weekes but far mor thorough and it really tells you how to pit acceptance in to practice, it's amazing.

    Anyway , great post joanna and good luck to those still with anxiety, there is a way out !

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    148

    Re: its TRUE - acceptance overcomes anxiety - read this!

    I'm on my comp now, here's the link http://books.google.com/books?id=UDY...page&q&f=false

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    21

    Re: its TRUE - acceptance overcomes anxiety - read this!

    Hi i to hav suffered have suffered anxeity but only for the pass 3yrs my comcerns are very difficult to make go away as they regard my husband and his heart attacks i play over in my mind how i would cope without him if any thing should happen Bed times are really bad for me i am about to write my biggest fear for the first time and crying as i do so my hubby goes to bed much earlier than i as he gets tired now i fear i will go to bed and he will be dead i also fear waking up and finding him dead beside me this is the first time i have written this down and maybe its a good thing to let it out i dont know hard to type right now i am also not sure if this makes me sound very weak as others have faced worse i have lost both my parents young and my younger brother doed tragicially 2 yrs ago it seems i lose those i love i have fears for my children to that can start me of in a wild panic they have both left home now and are adults but i have to check on them both reguarlly all i can say is i am scared sorry cant type any more but will try another time xxxx jenny

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