Crisis - Anorexia

[LisaS]

ooh karen,

not nice to have an intimidating nurse...??! boo.
wasnt' there another lady there you spoke to who was much nicer than the nurse? maybe you could drop it into conversation with her!?

yeah, you may as well ask the doc when you go back for the results, while you are there!
glad to hear you are up for a bath in the morning!! damn shame you'll be up with the laxatives though!

glad you know what i mean about the jarmies!! ooh they're the best. I even sent some to my friend in devon last week so i could share the joy with someone!! I sit by a door at work and its really drafty and i always wish i could wear them to work!! although they already think i'm a bit odd so i better not make it worse!

talking of which - i better get in them and get to bed - i have a raging sore throat that i'm sure will be a cold,so gonna have a vit c tablet and go to bed i think..

will be checking in tomorrow.. have a lovely bath tomorrow and a very soapy hair wash!
look forward to hearing from you tmrow!

lisa
xxx

"do not fear to hope...Each time we smell the autumn's dying scent, we know that primrose time will come again"

[Piglet]

Hi mate,

Tuck up in bed for now and I hope you feel better in the morning - LisaS that goes for you too I think. My youngest was off school all last week with a filthy cold and I kept thinking I was just about to get one but just wandered around looking rough instead!!

Nigel - report to my office after the bell has gone. Ooh no that scared me, you better have a hug instead that's for all your positive input you chirpy chap you

Piglet xx

[Karen]

Hi Guys

Lisa: Yeah the tummy pain is horrible but then it's my own fault really because no one forced me to start using laxatives in the first place. It's just that now I am finding it impossible to stop.

I can't break free of this cycle and it all feels so hopeless. I don't think I'll ever be better.

Everyone kept telling me how ill I was when my weight was low but I was fine then. Now I am much worse. I've gained weight to not far from the low end of normal but I feel so ill. Things were so much better last summer and I wish I could go back there now. I was in control. I was surviving mainly on fruit and felt good about that. I didn't have any of these tummy problems. Now I feel I've mess my life up permanently and there's no hope to come through this.

I don't know if my doctor will be able to prescribe anything because the stomach cramps I am getting are ultimately caused by laxatives, either when I take them or from withdrawal when I try to cut down.

I'll try to get up a bit earlier tomorrow and have a bath. There is a shower here but I don't like showers - it's the water coming down on top of me I don't like. I guess I'll have to wash my hair too but I really can't be bothered. It's not just a case of washing my hair because then I'll have to dry and straighten it too. I'm just feeling so low that I am not able to care of any of these things right now.


LisaS: I live in my pjs at the moment but I really should change and put some clean ones on... but not much point doing that until I've washed myself. Just want to lie in bed and shut the world out.

Unfortunately the nice nurse I saw last week - Leoni (not sure how she spells her name) is not there all the time. The nurse I usually see - Annie - can be quite abrupt and she gets impatient when I find it difficult to talk. This makes it very difficult for me to trust her too. How can I trust someone I am scared of?

I hope your throat is better tomorrow and that you haven't got a cold.


Piglet: How are you feeling now? Have you been for any more walks to the postbox?

Karen



Nothing tastes as good as thin feels

[feege]

Hi Karen

No no no - you weren't in control before, the anorexia was.....control means eating little and often, repeat after me lol!!!!!

Seriously, control is not easy, it's hard work. But you keep trying and that's why you're such a star, we all know how hard it must be for you.

Your tummy will get use to it if you keep going, honestly, especially if you get the laxatives down.

That feeling of being bloated after eating won't go easily, and this bit is from experience, it took me ages not to hate the feeling of being full up - in fact i still don't like it but I know it's cos I have a bit of a lurking issue.... I will never let it take over again though because I want to be healthy one day and strong and eventually go for my walk in the hills with lisa and you and piglet and smile and laugh at how far we have all come!! So many issues, driving alone, walking up hills and even for me the cream tea is a bit of a challenge!! (don't panic you can just have the strawberries lol!!!). I want to feel well one day and enjoy life (before i really AM too old lol!) and I know you do too, which is why you keep fighting with it !

I hope you get a decent night's sleep and your tummy settles a bit...

Don't feel like going to bed myself for some reason, hope I'm not heading for more anxiety!

tc hon xxxxxxx

fee
xx

[Hannahlou84]

Hi darling,

Sorry you're still in pain. Have you thought if you're in a lot of pain either way then maybe cold turkey would be the best way, and ask your doctor in advance if she can presrcibe something like Buscopan to help with the cramps?

I am sure too that Annie will seem less abrupt once you get to know her and her ways, everyone is different in that respect.

Take care, and hope tomorrow is good to you.

Hannah x

"I just wanna live my life sedated, cos I love driving myself away"

[Sue K with 5]

Hi ya Karen

Just caught up with your posts, sorry your not feeling so great. My sister had the same problems when she took the laxatives, the GP told her it was the constant changes that caused the bowel to react and this caused the pain and discomfort.

I know trying to stop taking them is going to be hard, but for your own sake please try honey ! this might sounds silly, but I eat figs, they do the self same thing but are completely natural and could reduce the pain your getting as well because they are completely chemical free.

not a great help but something for now


Speak again soon and take care



Bigs hugs



Sue

scknight

[Karen]

I have started a new thread Anorexia because this one was getting long and taking ages to load.

Karen



Nothing tastes as good as thin feels

[AyAna_Apple]

I currently struggle with Atypical Anorexia, so I have some understanding on how you feel.

And although I don’t take my own advice, I hope this can maybe help.

1. F*ck fault and blame. Blaming yourself and worrying about how you believe it is your fault will only tear yourself down. Instead, encourage yourself. You can recognize that this situation is very difficult, but tell yourself you are strong and even when feeling like you are worthless and not good enough, you can still recover.

2. The fact is... if you aren’t recovering you are dying. It’s scary, but it’s true. Recovery is a roller coaster, going up and down from doing well to feeling hopeless. But in the end you will be okay if you keep trying.

3. Do not deprive yourself of help. Even if your eating disorder is screaming at you for trying to be healthy and eat the food you need to survive, it is your life. You get to decide what you want for yourself. If you don’t want to feel like this, you decide what to do. The disorder is not the ruler of your life. Make the disorder your b*tch. You got this.

[Catherine S]

AyAna, sorry but this lady cannot reply to you. She died some years ago from this condition. If you note the date of her last post on this particular tbread, it's from February 2006. There is another thread somewhere where alot of us were trying to help her through, but sadly it eventually overwhelmed her.

However your reply is still relevant to those people still trying to cope with this awful mental illness right now, so thank you for your words here.

Take care x