Ok, ladies I have a very personal question for y'all. I have never told anyone about this fear. But now I realy need to face it and I am not sure how to do it. I was wondering if you have any tips for me. I need to go see my gynacologist (sp?) I have not had a breast exam or a pap smear for over 10 years. I know I know very irresponsible. I have been beating myself up for a long time. Another board I go to brought the subject up and I realy am wondering how to cope with this. Just thinging of all of the fears I would have to conquer just make me crazy!! First I would have to go to a new place, then I would have to put on one of those paper robes (new thing touching my body) then I would have to expose my skin to the exam table, and then the two biggies. The dr would be touching me, and the one that is realy embarassing,, the speculum (or what ever it is called). I have a big thing about that. It would be something not mine touching me. The doctors have the plastic ones that are sealed in packages, but I would have to go to the free clinc and they have the metal ones that they clean, so then I would freak about that too, would they have it clean enough? Could they have contaminated it by touching it? The questions go on and on. I also have convinced myself that a mucus membrane is an easy portal for things like germs or drugs. So I worry about that speculum. I mean I won't even use toilet paper in a public restroom, (I allways carry my own) because I fear germs or drugs on the paper. Whew, that was hard to talk about. I probably am not making sense here, but I welcome any input. Now, if y'all feel like this is way to public of a place to reply with anything my email is hearsthewater@yahoo.com and if it would make you feel better, you could email me there. I realy need to get over this, but just thinking of it is like looking at a mountain!!! Help!!!!
God Bless you and yours
Debbie