Huge fear of death :(

[sweetmummy]

Katie reading your original post sounds so similar a fear as myself. Im glad you managed to get to the doctor today & that you have a great partner. Having someone there for you is a great step to helping you cope with your fear. Dying is my greatest fear & also survive on little sleep. Hope you are well! x

[sweetmummy]

I've been there too and am going through it again now.

First time I was 16 and I think it started after my dad had a heart attack (he survived, I hasten to add), it just seemed to trigger this terrible anxiety about death, including my own and those close to me and also health anxiety about me and those close to me.

I remember feeling really clingy towards my mum with this terrible, terrible anxious feeling and I can remember waking up in the mornings and just crying straight away because those awful thoughts were there again, I just wanted to go back to sleep to get away from those thoughts.

This all went on for several months, didn't get any help for it.

Then I had another episode of the same thoughts when I was about 22, don't know what triggered that one but again, I had terrible thoughts about losing those close to me.

And now, at 28 I'm going through it again, this time it's been triggered by being poorly about 5 months ago which has triggered terrible anxiety.

I know I'll get through it because I have done so before, it's just a tiny part of my life and it will pass when it wants to but it's hard while it's happening. Very hard.

You will get through it, I think maybe a lot of people have these episodes at some point, it's part of dealing with life.

I cant believe how similar our lives are............I too started having anxiety problems at 16, altho it through the death of my great aunt that I started developing a fear of death. I too am now 28 & funnily enough due to an illness roughly 6 months ago, my fear has returned with avengence. After finding this website this month, i have found so many people with similar stories, but nothing as close as yours. Hope you are well & things are on the up again for you too. x

[wkraitgihet]

Hey guys sorry its been so long since ive replied! Had a broken computer!

These past two weeks have been... pretty good actually. I've been put onto fluoxetine 20mg and with the help of that and a counsellor i've been starting to take each day as it comes and enjoy every moment of it, there are still days when these thoughts plague me, but they are becoming fewer and further apart, i have some amazing support in my partner, and i'm starting to enjoy my life again.

[Neen]

Hi
New to this sight and I was shocked; however also pleased (sorry) for finding people who have the same thoughts as me. I'm 26, never felt anxious or had a fear of death before. I am an emotional soul I hasten to add! About 2 months ago my mum had to have a mole removed from her face and it turned out to be Cancerous. Luckly they had caught it early and it hadn't spread.

So this made me go to the docs and have all mine checked out (Ihave 100's!) So the GP referred me to the Dermatologists that day. The following day I was phoned by the hospital to make an appointment for 2 weeks time. That freaked me out how quickly they phoned! Anyway I went on Google (big, huge mistake!) and convinced myself I had Melanoma.

I thought I was riddled with Cancer. I read horror stories, survival stories, death stories from younger girls than myself. I was a mess! Didn't work, didn't eat, acted as if I was terminally ill, crying all the time. My partner found it hard to understand where his fun, loving, bubbly, lively and confident girlfriend had gone. He ended up being my rock though - in the end. Anyway I had 2 full blown panic attackes in this 2 week period. Shit they are scary! One was in the Brixton Academy! Just before one of my favourite bands came on. I had to go, walk out and leave. Then I had another going down to the Underground. What a night!

I was so scared of death it took over my life and still is. Wondering where we go, do we go anywhere? Whats the point in living if all we do is die. Whats the point in taking photos of trips? If we just die. Is there life after death? Is it just like being asleep, what happens to our soul etc, etc, etc. I fried my brain! still do - not as bad though. Went to docs, fobbed off with Diazepam - never took them, don't want to rely on pills. Gave myself Eczema - still have it now. This all started as I say 2 months ago and it's still ongoing. I now think I have GLOBUS HYSTERICUS. OMFG what a condition! So now I'm having Health Anxiety due to this 'lump in the throat sensation' it's driving me mad.

I went to docs RE: Globus and she said it was down to my Anxiety/stress; however to return if the symtoms change or I am in pain. Well I'm not in pain but I want all other possibilities RULED out before I get given the official diagnosis of Globus Hystericus. Booked in at docs this Thursday. Everyday I fight with myself to feel better. I want to be that fun, loving, funny, bubbly Nina again Not this paranoid wreck I've turned myself into. Oh and GP has referred me for CBT - lets hope it helps? I can sympathize with you all. If any wanna chat just give us a hola........

P.S My moles were fine, just need to check them against photos every 6 weeks. I have large quantities of Dyplastic Nevi - 100's of moles basically that can become cancerous? I was an avid sunbather in my teens, used sunbeds. Never again! Please be safe - use factor and block! CHECK YOUR MOLES!!!!!

Peace and love

Neen xxx

[Little miss worry]

Hey Katie, I know exactly how you feel, i'm only sixteen but i have exactly the same thoughts! Im so scared that i have a life threatening illness eg. cancer and am terrified at every little lump and bump, ache and pain.. i dont really know what to do to be honest. I can really talk to my mum she just thinks im being stupid. Im glad your getting help, and better! Any ideas how i can start to relax more and kick this severe phobia of death?! Lovely to have you on this website, every person that joins makes a difference to all of us, however big or small
All the best. Lauren xx

[wkraitgihet]

Hey guys sorry ive taken so long to reply!
Thankyou both for the replies, it really does make me feel better to hear im not the only person dealing with this. Its been about 2 months now since i was prescribed fluoxetine 20mg. It has started to make a difference slowly and my partner continues to be amazing as always.

Lauren thankyou for the reply and sorry to hear that you are having these thoughts too, in response to you asking about ways of relaxing when you get these thoughts i've found a few things that help;
-if you have a partner, or a friend or family member that is willing to then ask them to give you a massage before you try to sleep at night, my partner does this for me, and although i'm a terrible sleeper it really helps me to settle down and get to sleep.
- Maybe not relaxing but it takes your mind off it, i find that putting on relatively loud, happy music and singing along can really help as you are focussing on something else.
-Spending as much time with people as you can. Friends, family, doing really sometimes mundane things, just watching tv or having a conversation, this will make you way less likely to think negative thoughts plus you are creating good happy memories with people you love and care for.

Feel free to send me another message or something i am always happy to talk,
take care both of you
Katie xxxx