fiance just walked out on me

[miss_moose]

Earlier i made a post about being panicky about the glass i drank out of being all soapy.
I've just made another drink and rinced it out alot because i dont want a repeat performance of earlier, anyway this sparked another row because my partner says it's OCD, but instead of being calm and compassionate, he just got really angry and gritted teeth.

I told him i know i have OCD but he doesnt realise he has an anger problem because no one else would act like that about the way someone rinses out a glass.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, he said his anger problems are caused by my OCD so it's my fault he's like that!

Then he just grabbed his car keys and said "see you tomorrow" and left.

I have no idea where he is or when/if he's comign back.

He doesnt have any family or friends about here, they are all about an hour away.

I'm sat in tears now, trying not to cry because if he comes home i dont want to appear weak but i dont know what to do.

[Vanilla Sky]

He 'll be back when he has calmed down. Think you both need to have a chat when your both feeling calm, it's never good to talk when your both upset , it only leads to arguments. It's probably the best thing that he walked away , it gives you both a bit of space to think. Apologise to each other when he comes back , you'll work it out hun Paige x

[Vixxy]

Aww poor you! I used to do the exact same thing. I would rinse a glass out 3 times before I would drink from it in case it still had washing up liquid in it. I slowly took this down to 2 rinses and now Im at 1 rinse, which I havd been doing for years now. Im happy rinsing it once... most people wont ask anything as it seems logical to rinse the dust out lol.
The trouble with OCD is you know what youre doing is silly, and youre hyper aware that people are watching and judging you for it.
I think the best thing to do would be to sit down and talk about how the OCD makes you feel and that youre not doing it to annoy him.
I hope you can sort it out^^

[suzy-sue]

Im sorry your upset .Your Fiance' seems to find it hard to understand how you feel .It really is difficult for someone to grasp how bad it is unless they have suffered themselves .Like the others have said Im sure he will come back when hes calmed down .He probably thinks you can stop your behaviour if you try ,and it just irritates him .You do need to have a proper talk about this ,It can be sorted and you dont have to be like this for ever .I hope he makes more of an effort and is more supportive in the future .Have you been offered any CBT by your Dr ? Let us know what happens and try not to get more upset ..Take care Luv Sue x

[miss_moose]

Thank you for your replies.

He came back but he said he didn't hae anything to say to me so we didnt speak for about an hour.

Then when we finally did, i was in floods of tears and he said i have to get help. I have really bad social phobia and agoraphobia, and he just told me how im not improving at all and how it feels like i dont care about him or his family because i never make an effort to see them (they live an hour away).

EVerytime i have been i've cried, last time i went, his mum had to come to car car because i wouldnt get out, i was hysterically crying, having a huge panic attack, close to being sick, but she made me come in the house, she was nice but wasnt taking no for an answer.

That has put me off, and when ever they come to our house i am always sick with nerves and if his grandparents come over at the same time i always cry.

It's really humiliating.

So I finally got him to understand, I havent seen my best friend in 4 years because of my social phobia.
And explained (through masses of tears) how shocked i was to see how much my dad had aged because i didnt see him for years (as account of social phobia), and last week i manged to go to my grandmas house who i havent been able to see for years, and how much of a shock i got to see how frail she was and that she cant walk anywhere with out a walking stick or a frame

So he's finally getting the social phobia (after 5 years of being together!) but the OCD he's just not getting, because whenever i ask him to wash his hands he blames it on OCD, (i've posted more about that in a post called "OCD? Another raw mean question".

I spoke to my doctor about meds but she didnt seem keen on potting me on them which im glad about because im so reluctant, i'l take anything natural tho.
Also, CBT has been talked about but because im so social phobic it's a nightmare.

If ever anyone wants to come over to the house or the nurse needs to come and give me a bloodtest (for thyroid), daniel has to arrange it in secret because otherwise i'll get too panicky.

Sorry i rambled on so long, i didnt meant to xxx

Thank you again xxx