Haven't posted in a while because.....

[blackberry1972]

Since my last appointment with my counselor at the beginning of April I have been so much better to the point that I was convinced I had this thing beaten, but just this last week I have had those feelings come back again.
Let me just recap quickly what my situation is.
Last March my father died of Motor Neurons.
Last June I got married
When I returned from my Honeymoon I started to worry that my back ache which I had developed was somehow the start of MND.
I got really worried to the point that I couldn’t sleep and when I laid down my muscles would twitch all over.
Eventually I broke down and told my wife but instead of her telling me there was nothing to worry about she said “if it is the worse then we will deal with it” which was the worst thing she could have said.
I went to the doctors who told me I was probably suffering from anxiety and I got referred to a counselor .
At this point I started to feel better until I googled “muscle twitching”, then I was worse than ever.
More counseling ensured but the muscle twitching is the trigger for me to start worrying.
Since January I have been steadily improving but I did have a blip a couple of months ago with work related issues surrounding their lack of understanding of Anxiety.
Last weekend I was visited by my Fathers older sister, ie my Auntie and the twitching started again.
Since then I have been getting the “insects crawling under the skin” feeling on my legs and the odd twitch but it’s the fact that I have started to think about everything again that makes it all worse.

After my last session with the counselor she did say that she thought I probably wouldn’t be back as she thought I had this thing beaten but now I can’t wait until our next meeting which is due at the end of this month. This stupid Anxiety is really getting on my nerves now so I’m back seeking comfort I guess and reassurance from you kind folks

[MONKEE_MAGIK]

Hi Blackberry,

I am sorry you feel that you are feeling anxious at the moment.

Reading through your post I can completely understand where your anxiety comes from and how difficult it is for you to try and and deal with this. I also suffer with fatigue and muscle pain/twitching and when I am anxious and I also spend hours googling various disorders. It is a very difficult cycle to break.

I am only going from personal experience but do you find that when a positive thing happens in your life (you are recently married) you feel that somehow something bad is bound to happen because ''that's life"!. I know this is something that I think which perhaps underlies my anxiety issues.

I am currently trying to combat my anxiety by focusing on positive things in my life and most importantly I rarely google any symptoms. I have to keep in mind that I can either live life or I can spend my days worrying about things that may never happen.

It is difficult to let go of anxiety but it is not impossible as you have already proven to yourself once.

Positivity is anxieties arch nemesis!

Monkee

[blackberry1972]

Hi Blackberry,

I am sorry you feel that you are feeling anxious at the moment.

Reading through your post I can completely understand where your anxiety comes from and how difficult it is for you to try and and deal with this. I also suffer with fatigue and muscle pain/twitching and when I am anxious and I also spend hours googling various disorders. It is a very difficult cycle to break.

I am only going from personal experience but do you find that when a positive thing happens in your life (you are recently married) you feel that somehow something bad is bound to happen because ''that's life"!. I know this is something that I think which perhaps underlies my anxiety issues.

I am currently trying to combat my anxiety by focusing on positive things in my life and most importantly I rarely google any symptoms. I have to keep in mind that I can either live life or I can spend my days worrying about things that may never happen.

It is difficult to let go of anxiety but it is not impossible as you have already proven to yourself once.

Positivity is anxieties arch nemesis!

Monkee

My anxiety is more to do with imagining the worse all the time and examining every little ache and pain or muscle twitch which then makes it worse.
Funnily enough I've just read another post by someone who has really put me at ease so hopefully that is all i needed.

Oh and I never Google anything medical anymore, its just not worth it

[MONKEE_MAGIK]

I'm glad you are feeling me reassured.

I don't think I probably worded things well but what I meant was that part of imagining the worst all the time is maybe due to some underlying belief that things are going to "go wrong".

So until you can start questioning those underlying beliefs the anxiety will have a grip on us. I know this is an issue for me.

Monkee