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Thread: NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH PANIC DISORDER... scared and confused

  1. #1

    NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH PANIC DISORDER... scared and confused

    i think my first proper panic attack was when i was in amsterdam in february, had a pure joint in the coffee shop (no idea why seeing as i don't even like weed... i make stupid decisions) and when i started to get high i totally FREAKED out ran upstairs, outside onto the pavement, i was absolutely boiling so i pretty much took off my top (and i'm a girl... that's not really acceptable in public) and was lying down on the street hugging the pavement. my heart was beating so so fast and i thought i was having a heart attack and dying. it was horrible.

    At the time i had no idea it was a panic attack and only found out yesterday after being diagnosed by the psychiatrist. for 8 weeks, since mothers day, i have been feeling so spaced out and exhausted and ill in a lot of ways... worse headaches i've ever had, not being able to concentrate at all, not being able to fall asleep for ages (4 or 5am) and then having really disturbed sleep- waking up 6-8 times each night- and having the most horrible dreams when i don't normally have any dreams. i have seen loads of doctors and had an MRI scan, 2 EEG's, 2 chest xrays, abdominal ultrasound and blood tests. eventually the tests showed no abnormalities, and when i saw the psychiatrist yesterday he diagnosed me with panic disorder.
    i took my first pill of citalopram yesterday, 10mg, i took it in the morning and felt soooooooo tired all day, and bear in mind i had been feeling exhausted for 8 weeks prior to now, so i mean properly tired. so today i'm going to take it just before i go to bed... anyone know if that's ok or does it affect the side effects?
    for 1 week i'm on 10mg and then increasing to 20mg... has anyone else done that and if so can you notice the increased dose? because i feel bloody awful on 10mg. and although i felt pretty vile beforehand i definitely feel different now, i feel constantly drowsy and sick and am very aware of the fact i am on medication! but on the bright side i'm hoping because they make me tired they'll help me fall asleep faster and get more sleep.

    anyway..... how old is everyone? because i'm only 19 (20 in august) and i'm worried because i didn't think i would be on anti-depressants at this young age- and i know that i'm not necessarily taking them to treat depression but still it's a pretty scary thought.

    Also, does anyone know what's potential causes of panic attacks? because my grandma who i was really close to, and my aunt died late December 2009. and now we are having to sell a house which i went to every weekend for many years of my life an spent many christmases at and have so many memories from. and my boyfriend dumped me in january (but was only with him for a couple of months so wasn't that bothered). so maybe those things contribute to it?

    i really don't understand all this. and i hate that one day i can change so very much, when i am usually such a confident outgoing person and now i just feel scared and alone because of not understanding why i am ill, how long i'm going to be ill and worrying about falling behind at university and losing friends because i'm not there with them, i'm at home still bloody unwell.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    281

    Re: NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH PANIC DISORDER... scared and confused

    Hi
    Most here will know how you feel, yeah it's not easy,,,,I don't think anyone knows what starts panic attacks, but everyone knows how horrid they are, that's for sure.
    I'm on lots of different meds for my depression and anxiety, been on them a few months now. Give your meds some time and they will really start to help you. Believe me you are not on your own,,,even though you do feel like the only person in the world.
    I hope you start to feel better soon, really i do,,,i got my first taste of depression and anxiety at the grand old age of 37, so it can happen anytime i think,,,, As i say hope you feel better soon and you will find lots of people who can help you on here,
    Regards Redrainbow,,,

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    51

    Re: NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH PANIC DISORDER... scared and confused

    Everything is going to be okay. There is no exact reason to why ppl get anxiety or panic attacks but I believe everything happens for a reason. I've had anxiety attacks since I was 5 and wasn't diagnosed unil I was 13. No one can understand how you rlly feel unless they themselves have anxiety..that's what this site is for. I know what ur feeling is hard to endure and scary but you can handle it and as u learn more about urself, the more u will learn how to deal with ur panic. Just keep talkn to ur therapist and writing and ul be fine..hang in there! Write anytime

  4. #4

    Re: NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH PANIC DISORDER... scared and confused

    Hi

    My gosh, I can relate to you so much and I'm so sorry you're going through this.

    With regards to the citalopram, or any medication really, I find it's better to take them before bed so you should sleep through the side-effects... or the side effects may put you to sleep. You will feel rough for a week or so I'm afraid hun... SSRIs are the most 'gentle' of all the anti-depressants though and the nausea will pass.

    A lot of people respond well to citalopram for their anxiety/panic. You start at a small dose to just introduce the drug to your system, building up gradually so you don't get hit with a giant medication brick!!

    I'm 22, and was diagnosed with PD just before I turned 19. Like you, I found the thought of being on anti-depressants terrifying. But my GP said it's no different to taking vitamins. You take those to help your body, and that's what medication does

    There can be any number of triggers for panic, from what you've said about the trip to Amsterdam and your recent losses (I'm very sorry about your Grandma and Aunt) ontop of moving... wow. That is an immense amount of stress, so it is very possible it contributed. There could also be a genetic factor, anxiety disorders can run in families. I can't remember any studies right now though.

    Have you been referred for CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)? That can really help with managing the attacks and also understand more about what is happening to you. I can recommend you a very good book: Panic Attacks by Christine Ingham.

    What are you studying at University? is there a student counselling service?

    Please PM me if you need someone to talk to.
    Sorry I babbled on for so long!!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    1,085

    Re: NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH PANIC DISORDER... scared and confused

    Hey ragdoll!

    My experience is very very similar to yours. I had a panic attack after having drugs in Cambodia, but at the time I had no idea it was a panic attack. I swear I thought I was dying. After that every single day I felt exhausted, sore, my mouth and throat felt swallen and there jsut felt like there was this pressure and numbness in my head and face. My body felt numb a lot too.

    I had so many tests when I got home, but all came back clear and then the psychiatrist told me it was definitely panic attacks and a panic disorder, although I still struggle sometimes to believe panic attacks can cause me to feel so horrible. And every time I have one I still think I'm dying! I'm on anti-depressants too (fluoxetine) and it's helping me so so so much.

    I used to be really happy and crazy and confident too, and now I'm just a shy, scared mess of a girl, lol. I'm always nervous and worried about something, and I don't see my friends nearly as much as I used to. I'm slowly getting there though.

    There are so so so many things that contribute to stress which cause the panic attacks. SOunds like you have been under a bit of stress lately, and drugs are definitely a massive contributor to panic attacks.

    If you ever need someone to chat to feel free to give me a message I hope you start feeling better soon!
    __________________
    - A.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    402

    Re: NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH PANIC DISORDER... scared and confused

    Hi ragdoll you really are suffering from panic disorder, I can recognise a lot of what you describe in my own experiences but I have never taken any Citalopram or the like because I am also prescription drug phobic after a hell of a weekend where I took Midadrine for Orthostatic intolerance and I had to be taken to hospital and I was kept in for 24 hours because of side effects. Anyway thats another story but basically medical research are now believing that panic attacks essentially are brought on by a faulty breathing pattern over a extended period of time. Chronic Hyperventilation Syndrome is well know to be responsible for major anxiety and associated panic attacks as well as exertional intolerance, shortness of breath, feelings of suffocation and major system imbalances which includes Digestive, Endocrine, Immune, Cardiac, Respiratory and Nervous System. This type of Hyperventilation is very subtle and changes your acid based blood balance to a more alkaline state so giving you major symptoms and sensations that mimic major disease processes. Your breathing may be out by a small amount so instead of breathing 12-14 times a minute you may be breathing 16-24 times a minute without realising and that is about 2-3 times more minute volume than your body needs so it changes your blood gases out of range. The treatment is relearning your proper breathing patterns which in my experience is easier said than done but there are numerous books around that can teach you such as Dinah Bradleys book on Hyperventilation or Full Catastropic living: How to cope with stress, pain and illness using mindfulness medication by Jon Kabat-Zihn 2008. Both can be bought on Amazon uk. I hope this is helpful.

  7. #7

    Re: NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH PANIC DISORDER... scared and confused

    Thanks everyone, it's always reassuring when other people have the same symptoms!


    and Amiee, amazing blog! really made me laugh. think i might start something like that as i imagine it would be good to get emotions and feelings out by writing them down.
    You're lucky you've got a boyfriend by your side at this difficult time, it would be nice to have someone close to be comforting who isn't the member of the family.

    frightenedbutterfly: have you been on the meds for 3 years then? and if so, how does it affect your social life, like drinking alcohol- is it ok to drink? and if so how much?
    yeah, to be honest i reckon i've been holding a lot of stress inside me since late 2007 early 2008 so i guess i'm due a breakdown (in the words of my mum!!).
    yeah, i think i am going to be doing CBT... the psychiatrist said something about seeing a therapist once a week and then also there are like group get-togethers? which i personally think sounds really cringe as i just have this image of wearing a blind-fold and having to fall back into a strangers arms....... too many films i think! but yeah hopefully i can get this all sorted. i'm, quite literally, sick and tired of being down in the dumps and missing out on my youth!!

    i'm studying Economics, haven't been back to uni this term though because i'm still not sleeping well and my halls are soooooooo noisy, and my room is on the bottom floor opposite the bar so that's also not handy. but i'm hoping to go back sunday night as i have an exam monday. i have no hope in passing the exam but i feel like i need to try and get back on track with my life, so i'm going to give it a shot, hopefully. although, my dose doubles on saturday to 20mg so maybe the side effects will increase... and that's not a good idea the day before my exam! oh well, i guess we'll see what happens.

    Thanks again everyone for being so reassuring!

  8. #8

    Re: NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH PANIC DISORDER... scared and confused

    ALSO: i've always loved theme parks and adrenaline rushes like bungee jumping...........
    does this new found disorder mean i'll have a panic attack if i do them again?

  9. #9

    Re: NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH PANIC DISORDER... scared and confused

    I have been on and off meds for what now feels like an eternity!! Generally speaking, alcohol and medication never mix well. I've been hospitalised more than once because of the effects it had on my body. It might be best to try it out at home first, just to see what happens.

    I do love your image of group!! I can assure you it's nothing like that at all. Of course, every group is different but it's a very useful thing to have.

    Recovery from panic disorder is entirely possible so you can definitely do all the things you used to do once you learn how to manage the panic/adrenaline that might cause an attack

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    1,085

    Re: NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH PANIC DISORDER... scared and confused

    You're welcome. If you get any horrible symtpoms that scare you give me an email because I think I suffer from every single symptom possible! It's a bit ridiculous lol
    Thanks for reading my blog I thought it'd just be fun for everyone here to read it and find the funny side to it rather than the scary side!

    I am quite lucky to have a boyfriend at this time, I don't know how he puts up with me! I'm always freaking out over something, the most annoying girlfriend ever I believe. You can make some gret friends on here and have a little support team, I've made a really nice friend here who is great to talk to when I feel horrible because she actually understands exactly how I feel, she's not just guessing. That's the best thing about this palce, you make friends who understand rather than try to understand

    Great to hear you're going to try go do your uni exam. I'm actually trying to do uni at the moment, first year. Unlucky that it seemed to coincide with my panic disorder! Made for a very stressful few months. On the topic of uni, I'd recommend upping your dose probably after your exam, just in case you do get a few more side effects on the upped dosage. One extra day wont make any difference And if it makes you tired definitely take it at night. Will give you a really good sleep! My meds stop me from sleeping so I have to take them as soon as I wake up, lol.

    I looooved theme parks and stuff like that too, although never tried bungee jumping. I think you'll definitely be fine to do them again. You won't have the panic disorder forever And you might find that it's a good adrenaline and not one that terrifies your body. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. It's much like how people can have sex and not panic, but go for a walk and feel their heart beat faster then panic. Different mindset I suppose?
    __________________
    - A.

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