My 'Taking The Meds' Diary
Day Two - May 14, 2010
Well, I am up and running - two tablets down and my first big hurdle mounted.
Side effects vary for everyone of course but I was surprised how quickly they kicked in for me after just my first tablet.
Within just a few hours of taking the tablet at lunchtime I had that strange 'empty legs' feeling where your legs feel a bit loose and disconnected (does anyone know what I mean?). Then as I hit the bed last night some more tablet-induced changes occurred.
The sweats arrived, the mass yawning began and when I woke up this morning after a pretty intense sleep I felt wide awake - even though it was really early. All of these are factors I remembered from before so I wasn't totally surprised - apart from how quickly I was experiencing them.
And the hurdle to mount? Well, I had to talk this morning at a pretty important meeting. When my anxiety/panic is at its height as it is now this is a BIG thing for me and although I can happily join in cross-table debates it is the bit where they go round the table and you are put on the spot and have to speak for yourself that I always dread. All eyes are one you and that is scary for most people, most of the time I imagine. When you are anxious that fear goes through the roof.
Well, I got through it (despite thinking 'I am gonna fail, I am gonna fail' just seconds before) and, as always happens when you have a victory in the anxiety war you feel so much better as a result. We must count and remember every win in my opinion - however minor. And today depsite virtually three hours of anxiety preparing for just a five minute 'solo' spot I got through it - and yes that is a victory.
Right, the weekend now beckons and after being introduced for a couple of days back to my 5g I will probably up it to 10 (the proper dose). Double trouble!
Will keep you posted....
Sam