Anxiety about my toilet phobia :( help...please

[skippy87]

I am 22 and have dealt with a kind of toilet phobia since i was 15!

Basically i dont like staying away from home, going on holidays or even just going away from home for too many hours, all because of needing the toilet (number 2!).
A major fear of mine is getting an upset stomach, the thought of that happening if i was to be away from home is just unbearable. So its because of this i dont like being away from home for any more than a few hours really incase this happens. I can manage work because if needed i know i can go home but day trips and holidays are out of the question.

To make matters worse, last july, when i started a new job i began getting upset stomachs most mornings, occasionally evenings to. Seems to be IBS, my doctor hasnt confirmed this, she just said its part of who you are and will be something i have to deal with.
So now i have to deal with this fear of mine pretty much on a daily basis and it is starting to get on top of me, it was a big issue before but now it happens a lot i feel i will never be able to do any of those things.

I have suffered with depression in the past and have had family problems, lost a relative and a friend which i still struggle to deal with sometimes. I tried herbal tablets with teh depression and to be honest just learnt to deal with the fact i get down sometimes and when i do i like to drive and be alone so i can let it all out. When i get an upset stomach it is usually a trigger for these sad thoughts and feelings.

I have always been really close with my mum and feel this may be part of the problem. When i was younger it was just me and my mum so i really depended on just her, i had problems with going to school, school trips and staying at friends houses because i would cry if i was away from my mum. So part of me feels that because i am too old now to be missing my mum i have developed this new way to not be too far from her and now this issue has got out of control and controls my day to day activities.

I had a doctors appointment the other week, taken some blood tests to check liver, kidneys etc.. Also prescribed anti-depressants, hopefully they will help!
I have now reached a point where the being away from my mum when i was younger and now this toilet issue has already ruined part of my growing and now starting to effect being an adult, i feel i have missed out on so much but at the same time now see it as fine because i got to be with my mum. Still now i have to see my friends planning nights out and day trips and i cant be a part of it, instead i get to hear all the fun theyve had.

One other thing to mention, i have tried hypnotherapy and CBT and neither seems to work, the people close to me say its because i dont try hard enought and its almost i dont want them to. I do, i want it all to go away, i just cant see right now it ever will, i dont know how it got this bad!

So i wanted to know if anyone else on here has experienced anything like this and would also like to hear anyones thoughts and if anyone can offer advice.

Thanks

[unspoken]

Hi. That does sound like IBS to me. IBS is a diagnosis of exclusion, so all doctors can do is check it's nothing else causing it. I understand your phobia, I am emetophobic and for me a big part of the fear is getting ill somewhere that isn't my bathroom at home and the awkwardness and problems of it.

Anxiety does cause your digestive system to go into overdrive. There are a few practical changes you can make though to your diet. Avoid chewing gum and drinks containing artificial sweeteners as they can have a laxative effect. If your stomach is upset, avoid things like bran, dried fruit and fatty foods. Eat bananas and white toast. Buy some loperamide eg. Immodium and keep it with you when you're out. Don't make a habit of taking it because it can make things worse long term but you know that you have it there in case you need it when you are out. It works well. See if that makes you feel any less anxious.

[MatthewH]

Maybe not quite the same thing, but i do know how traumatic it is for you. I get the upset stomach, but rather than needing to use the toilet, i vomit. This means that if i do go out, then i need to know i can get somewhere out of sight or get to a toilet so that i can be in private.

One thing that ive found to be helpful is Rennie tablets. I know that they say that their for indigestion, BUT...I've found them to be excellent at settling the stomach. If its a fear of an upset stomach, when you feel one coming on, just take one or two of the chews and it might help settle you. I have found that sometimes its just the distraction of having something to do, maybe the placebo effect. But it has helped me in the past. If after a couple of episodes of upset tummy, if these work, then maybe you could try and expand your travel to take a half day out, somewhere planned where you know you will be able to get to a toilet if the need arises.

Best of luck, and hope the doctor gets back to you quickly with a definate result!

[roxorlele]

Hey.... This is basically what I also suffer with on a daily basis... as a result I very much like to be at home in my conform zone..it controls what I eat and when, where I go out that day, my work life my social life... its extremely debilitating. I've also seen the doctor about IBS who gave me tablets but I think it's almost a case of the chicken and the egg.. my anxiety causes my upset stomach and therefore my stomach causes me anxiety.. vicious circle. ive found the biggest help in dealing with this is to be honest and tell the people around you how you are feeling. It can make you feel massively more comforted if you know they will understand if you need to go to the loo 2 or 3 times - As embarrassing as it may seem you will find people actually understand it which in turn relaxes you and your stomach stress. Also I've tried to adopt the approach that I will try and do something and if I need to leave and go home then I will do that, having a back up plan really helps, I drive myself everywhere so I know I have my car to leave if I need to - This also helps me. work are very understanding although it is hard for someone to understand fully if they haven't had to deal with this themselves. luckily I have a very paitent boyfriend who is now used to me saying 'I have a stomach ache...' 'I need the toilet ill be back!' it is just an every day part of my life and whilst I love to be at home I still try and push myself to do things because 90% of the time I'm actually alright and my tummy is fine! It will get easier the more situations you conquer, each successful trip out is a little moment of 'yay I did it!' and you will soon almost want to challenge yourself to try more! don't let it control you, you control it. You need the toilet? that's fine... we all go to the loo.. just some more than others and that's fine too! I really hope you see this message and its helped a little bit!