Feeling useless

[DEREKG]

I just tried to go to the local shop. It's like 5 mins by foot and i wasn't even by myself. About a minute into the journey i felt overcome and had to turn back. Not being able to do the simplest of journeys on a nice sunny day is really depressing me. I feel guilty and ashamed at my inability to do things that wouldn't have been a problem before. In the end I had to get someone else to go for me. I'm on a waiting list for treatment but it seems to be taking ages and it's not fair on those around me. Sorry, I guess I just needed a rant because I'm so angry with myself.

[Veronica H]

Hi Derek
Don't be hard on yourself about this. Set yourself a smaller goal for now, say going to the first lampost on the street and so on. The important thing is that you keep moving forward as phobias can set in if they are not challenged. Try not to be too impressed by what happened today. Your nerves are sensitised and as they recover then this will get better. I hope you get your treatment soon.

Veronicax

[Vixxy]

Hi derek.
Please dont beat yourself up because you failed to get to the shop. Think of the positive stuff you did do today, you tried!
Summoning up that motivation to try and do something is very important and should be rewarded. You could be hiding away and not bothering to try, that way you never fail,but you never succeed either.
You will eventually succeed and you will get into that shop and probably do a jump for joy when you do!
I hope these words help you.

[DEREKG]

Thankyou for your responses and advice. I appreciate it. X

[margaret jones]

Hi Derek
Try not to be upset this is really a positive step when it starts annoying you it means you are ready to challenge yourself .I no it seems silly but if i get angry with myself it helps me move forward .Hope you soon get some treatment .

Take Care Maggie

[jothenurse]

Good job just leaving your home.

[daydreamer]

Listen well done for trying to go out, I know its hard! Dont beat yourself up because at least you tried.

I hate it on sunny days like today too, the part of me that remembers being normal/happy makes me want to be outside walking for hours on a day like today as I used to, but I seem to have a internal wall of anxiety that I just cant get through at the moment. All I can suggest is to keep trying and everyday do a little bit more than you have been doing.

How your feeling is not fair on you either, you didnt choose to feel this way, so try to stop worrying so much about the people around you and focus on yourself and getting better

[bellab]

Hi derek
I am the queen of avoidance so am not the best at giving advice!!
other than well done for trying...... I dont have quite the same issues leaving the house, but man will I try and avoid anything that makes me anxious....I think if I could get away with it half the time I wouldnt even try ...so seriously...that is half the battle sometimes, try and keep trying...

I do get it though, with the weather being this nice thinking of all I used to do without a care...

hang in there we are here to listen!

[DEREKG]

Thanks everyone. Your input is greatly appreciated. I can't help being hard on myself and worrying about others though because I can see the effect it's having on them. Just have to keep trying! X

[amosxchick]

Hi Derek.

Well Done for getting part way to the shop, thats more than I do if I can i will completely avoid going to a place that has caused an attack before. I completely understand what your saying about worrying how its affecting the people around you. I worry about it each and every day. The way I have started to think though is if it did bother them they wouldnt have stuck by as much as they have. The best friends and family will stick there through thick and thin.

I really hope you get the treatment soon, theres nothing worse than waiting for something thats going to help you.

Just keep trying and soon you will get to the shop and I hope you get plenty of praise for doing it.

Aimee.