Its not enough, what now?

[poppy]

Hi,
I had a setback at christmas and became scared to go out again, i never fully recovered but i was getting out a bit before this.
Since then i have taken all the advice on board and really tried to overcome this.
I have been going to the shop twice a day and getting 1 or 2 things (its a 20min walk), i have been taking my lil girl to school in a taxi a few days, i have been waiting at the bus stop for the school bus to drop her off, i have even been looking after my sisters kids at her house for hours at a time.
It isnt getting any easier, im still terrified of going out and feel like i want to just pack in. I have been having some of my worst panics ever forcing myself to do all these scary things day in day out so why isn't it getting any better? I thought if you faced these things the fear went.
The main thing i have been using to get better is the claire weekes method, face the situations and accept that you will panic and that panic cannot harm you. Its all a bit hit and miss though, sometimes i can panic and accept other times im terrified.
Is there something else i should be doing?
Where am i going wrong?
Thanks
Poppy

[jackie]

poppy

do you remember the bit in claire weekes book where she talks about the man who claimed that he no longer was afraid of the funny sensation in his stomach but it was still there how could that be? her response was how could he be truly accepting when he still mentions these sensations and awaiting their arrival. she asks the question, is that true acceptance.

her response to you and to all of us i think is let more time pass.

also are you truly acceping if this feeling of fear still upsets you so much. when you are acceping the feelings and letting time pass you are saying the sypmtoms no longer matter. iare you really saying they no longer matter? are you really saying you accept these? or are you being impatient with time?

i hope i dont sound like im patronising i truly wish i was as far on as you are with my own fear, but i just thought if you were using the book you must do what she says 100%. hard i know, i am still trying to do this.

i wish you calm acceptance and a feeling that the symptoms no longer matter no matter how long they last

all the best

jackie

[Meg]

Poppy,

Have you started to positively change your thoughts yet ?

We can all do things again and again but if even with lots of positive experienecs we keep feeding ourselves scary messages the fear will not go.

The idea of facing things and surviving is to then take the positives from it and use them to change your negative views on each situation and forge new realistic ones.

Lets try to keep our thoughts in perspective
Mind Games
obsessive thoughts & anxiety
Still suffering this damn "suggestive" thing..
How to CURE yourself ! The definitive guide here..
Its happening again !
Things to consider for success!
[Link removed as post deleted]
Thoughts
image projection in my mind


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Piglet]

Poppy I feel just like you hun - why when we are trying does it still feel so difficult.

Jackie is absolutely right though, we haven't quite got the acceptance bit in place yet. Keep going mate it will come.

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[vernon]

Hi Poppy, I fully understand where you are coming from this has happened to me so many times over the past getting so better then the old agoraphobia comes back again. I have tried everything, Relaxation, Diet, Hypnosis, Lots of reading including Claire Weeks both her books and found now the best way I find through it is to try to keep as busy as I can, Do lots of things that you are interested in (even though you have no interests at the moment) Keep doing what you used to enjoy and try to achieve a little every day. I found this is now working for me rather than worrying about diet, Relaxation and trying to keep to what books say. Claire Weekes books are very good, but, I think you can try to hard to follow the book and just add another worry if that makes any sense to you. It will get better I promise. I often get suppressed and all of a sudden I seem ok again and can’t really put a finger on what I done to make me better. Take care Poppy and you will get there. Vernon

[tara]

What a lovely explaination on acceptence. I think this is so true. At my worst I would fear every feeling I had, but now, with time I no longer get afraid at these feelings I sometimes get, head tingling, butterflies, racing heart. I do think to myself "i would have freaked at these feelings a year ago" and now I accept them and carry on. Not that I get them often. Time, knowledge and acceptence deffo helped me, and of course this site. Tara x

[heavymind]

The fear of going out is understandable, I have twice locked myself to my house for a continuous stretch of around a week each time. But it actually increased quite a lot during the week. Even going shoping used to be scary since there were always some wierd stranger that caused a jolt of pain and worry, since they were there with a reason, according to my fears.

As the week progressed, I started believing my fears more than 200%, the way I got out of it was quite interesting. Infact it may not always work and sometimes might lead to bad decisions. I believed my fears and started making completely rational decisions based on the fears and started acting on my rational decisions. I started to make counter moves, which I thought were the most intelligent thing to do, if I assumed my fears were true. The very task of preparing the counter moves and escape routines got me out of the fears interestingly, because suddenly the fact that I could make counter moves magically empowered me, and gave me a sence of confidence that I could handle the situation for a few more weeks before I gave up. What actually happened was, the very next day, I was much better and could do everything that was required, but it took almost a month to pull myself into doing everything that was required. After a month I was finally able to believe completely that the fears were irrational and unnecessary.

But a very wierd thing happened, until I was hypervigilent, I was recovering, but the moment I started completely believing there was nothing to worry, something coincidentally went wrong and that triggered the next round of complete locking out from the world for an entire week and it once again required coming out of slowly. But a complete recovery came to me only after I changed to a new place, changed everything around me and reached out for old time people with whom there was a lot of mutual trust. Those were the people whom I could entirely discuss my fears openly and completely and I trusted those people could help me handle even if my fears were true. Once I talked to these trusted people, they were able to show me were I was going wrong, and were able to pump in confidence that things will certainly be alright.

I am not very sure, if what I have said was any useful, just sharing my experience. The moral of the story is talking to trusted people whom you have known for a long time, who will certainly be willing to help you out of any problems whatsoever might be able to get us out of our fears/.


Ram

[Jenni]

The way i used to deal wit it was to think what is the differnce in having a panic attack outside to having one indoors, the answer is nothing if ure going to have a panic you may aswell have one while going outside enjoying yourself.

feel the fear and do it anyway is very good advice and is when my recpovery began. every time you have a panic - go outside.

The end of the day just dont let panic restrict your every day life just carry on as normal.

[Yvonne]

Hi All

I remember asking this question so many times - why do I still keep getting panicky when I keep facing?

I love Claire Weekes' books and do find them so reassuring when I read them. However,, I do think the old acceptance thing is so so hard. It's a bit like accepting that someone is holding a gun to your head.
I think you have to just keep trying and trying and keep doing the things that make you panicky - just keep walking into those anxiety inducing situations. I think it takes ages and ages - so the person who metioned about letting time pass is probably right.
If anyone could let me know if they have found true acceptance and how they did it I would really love to hear.

Love to all
Yvonne

Y Goble

[jackie]

would love the answer to this too yvone. you have hit it on the head to accept for me a pain in the chest when i fear a heart attack has always proved too much.

would love an y success stories. what about a bit from mojo, he has done so well and is such an inspiration

jackie