Severe anxiety disorder and insomnia... Please help!

[aeroz21]

Hello everyone, I'm new to the forums sorry that this post is long, but I have a lot to get out...

I suffer from severe anxiety disorder. I have a constant fear of going 'crazy', like developing schizophrenia, becoming dangerous (due to intrusive thoughts), etc. I can always imagine myself losing it, starting to scream and cry in public... it's horrible. It's gotten to the point where I am to scared to leave the house on my own without my mum. I find it extremely hard to relax - I'm keyed up pretty much all the time and it's getting harder to deal with everyday life. I've had to quit my job, and my friends are getting mad at me because I can't socialize with them at the moment. I've been seeing the Mental Health Team, and have a counsellor. My psychiatrist has put me on sertraline 50mg, and also olanzapine 2.5mg for the anxiety (apparently).

I was doing better until a few nights ago. I mentioned to my MHT advisor that I didn't feel as if I was getting any benefit from the olanzapine, so they heightened my dosage to 5mg. I took it Thursday night before bed... thought everything was okay... until bam! I woke up in the middle of the night VERY disorientated, and thus had a huge panic attack. I thought I was going mad. I was dizzy, my eyes were jumbling up, and I felt like screaming and crying and calling my mum to beg her to take me to the hospital. I eventually calmed down, but this has REALLY REALLY shook me up. I've been having extremely intense panic attacks to the point where I almost can't even walk out the front door I'm so scared. And because I haven't been able to sleep properly, I'm now developing hallucinations!!! Whenever I'm about to fall asleep, I hear either a violent knock on the door or something. It doesn't usually bother me, but earlier I was trying to fall asleep, nearly did, but then I heard a very loud and very clear 'hello' right in my ear!!!! what the hell?!?! Now I'm scared I won't ever be able to sleep because of the intense fear this has instilled in me!

Has anybody else experienced anything similar? I'm back on 2.5mg of olanzapine, but I'm still all shook up. I swear I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown here.

[andrew]

Hi Aeroz21,

Welcome to the site.

Its sounds like you are really struggling at the moment. I wanted to say, try not to lose hope, you will recover from your anxiety issues. Try to get some sleep, your thoughts cant hurt you and you definately dont sound crazy.

You take care .. andrew

[aeroz21]

thanks andrew

sometimes i get so completely petrified that i'm just going to lose my mind completely, and then hurt myself or someone i love. that's why this voice has pretty much scared the life out of me today. does anyone else have an intense fear that they are losing their mind?

[Vixxy]

Hi, it might be the medication thats causing you to hallucinate. Talk to your GP tomorrow and see if its a possible side effect.
Ive had problems sleeping when I first started to take citalopram. Just as I would drop off I would suddenly wake up full of fear and anxiety. My mum would usually lie next to me and try to relax me as I fell asleep. Maybe you could get someone to do that for you?

[minnie h]

hi. I dnt fear im goin crazy BUT when i woz falling aslp the other nite i also heard a very clear loud hello in my ear,it scared me.so ur definatly not on ur own.cud u try listnin 2 the radio or i pod az ur falling aslp. hanna x x

[aeroz21]

Hi Vixxy,

Thanks for your feedback I've just spoken to my counsellor and she thinks it might be a side-effect of the medication too, plus a couple of other people that I've spoken to. I can also definitely relate to waking up full of fear and anxiety - it happens to me most nights. That is what happened to me tonight in fact... I woke up incredibly anxious and then this happened.

I don't know. I hope this gets better soon because I seriously do not know how much more I can take!!

[micheal88]

pm me that is exactly what i have... everyday my biggest fear is going crazy and my friends get upset too

[aeroz21]

hi. I dnt fear im goin crazy BUT when i woz falling aslp the other nite i also heard a very clear loud hello in my ear,it scared me.so ur definatly not on ur own.cud u try listnin 2 the radio or i pod az ur falling aslp. hanna x x

You have no idea how much comfort that gives me hanna!! thank you. i'm going to try to put on some music or something in the background while I fall asleep so i can just blame that and not some 'voice'.

[minnie h]

im not on any meds but i stil got the hello in my ear

[aeroz21]

it's scary as hell, hey? i haven't been able to relax all day because of that.