Self Harm- Is it common for PD/AD?

[blondeangel]

I was just wondering if self harm was something that was common for people with anxiety and/or panic disorder...especially after reading a recent post.
Myself, I engage in self harm, usually after I have had a huge arguement with my boyfriend, and my emotions get so intense that hurting myself seems like a way to release them. I used to just bang my head or bang myself with other objects, then I began cutting. This all started after I was in an extremely abusive reltaionship where I was tortured emotionally and and psychologically and suffered emotional, sexual and physical abuse as well as exploitation.
I am 28 years old, and mostly cut myself on my wrists...although I once cut my face up (I was an actress at the time, which prevented me from work). I am now going to college to be a counsellor for children and youth, but I also want to help myself.
I as wondering how many other people here use self harm, and what triggers them. For me I think my triggers for self harm is when my emotions get overwhelming to the point I feel helpless and overwhelmed,,,and that usually follows an arguement with my boyfriend. Often I will go in the bathroom take my razor and slice up my wrists...just to feel the pain and watch the blood come out...it is like the blood represents the pain I feel inside.
What are your stories?

[Meg]

No its not a common thing as regular self harm.

It does happen as occasional one offs out if frustration but generally sustained serious self harm is restricted to when there are multi faceted emotional disorders involved.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Karen]

Hi blondeangel

I've had problems with self-harm for a number of years but it has been worse at times and I've also had periods of time when I've not harmed at all.

My self-harm involves banging my arms against walls, for example, or hitting myself with objects. I usually feel compelled to harm myself when feeling emotionally overwhelmed and unable to show emotion or let my feelings out any other way. It is also a means to punish myself.

I rarely self-harm in this way any longer, after a period of daily self-harm starting a couple of years ago. However, I now have an eating disorder and indulge in other methods of self-abuse.

As Meg suggested, I have a number of longstanding different emotional problems which have become intertwined.

You might find it helpful to read this Self Harm article.


Karen



Nothing tastes as good as thin feels

[blondeangel]

Thank you for your response:

I just would like to know why I do it. I never did it as a teen...it began after the abuse I endured as an adult.
I told my psychiatrist about the self harm but he made no comment on it at all.
My family doctor where I used to live had me on Risperidol, which is an antipsychotic drug, and she felt I was doing the self harm because of my flashbacks and the emotions that arose from it.
I read about other stories here that prompted me to ask this question. Hopefully as I continue my program and learn about abnormal psychology (which I just started taking right now) I will learn more....plus I am going to begin counselling which I have put off thinking that I could solve my problems on my own.
Thanks for the feed back...I really appreciate it.
But I wonder why my psychiatrist did not address the self harm issue. It was hard enough for me to admit to it (I feel ashamed to talk about it)...hopefully my next session with him will address that.
Thanks again

[darkangel]

Hi Blondeangel

I have self harmed for a number of years as it was my way of dealing with a panic attack. Because a panic attack made me feel so unreal and "out of it" I found self harming was the only way I knew how to feel real again. I used it as a means of distraction by transferring my unreal pain to real actual pain (does that make sense). This of course became a habit and it has taken a long while to sort out. I havent s/h for over 6 months now but when I have a bad PA I still get that urge its like an automatic reaction. Self harm for me was a great relief but i now use other coping methods to deal with the stress before it reaches boiling point. When I was in therapy they never really focused on s/h either.

Hope you find this site helpful and i like your name - blondeangel!

Take care
Darkangel x


........life is for living not just for surviving

[cray-long-legs]

i self harm when i get reli stressed out an aggrevated...takin it out like that can reduce the amount of attacks i suffer. i do it almost every day cutting, i do it even when im not strssd cause i suppose im sort of addicted in a way.
may b try a stress ball? though im not reli one to b givin advice
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[blondeangel]

Thank you so mcuh for your replies. I am currently taking a course about abnormal psychology in children, becasue I am training to be a counsellor for children and youth, and so I am just learning about different disorders, and we are just talking about anxiety disorders now, and there has been no mention of self harm in it. I also just finsished a massive research paper about street kids, which I found information about self-mutilation and harm. I am also just learning about borderline personality disorder, which self harm is a component. I already have ADHD, and some obsessive compulsive behaviours (re: arranging and checking), and I have PD too. But when I hurt myself it is usually after a big arguement with my bf, and I didn't begin my self harm until afer I was in a very abusive relationship. My bf is not abusive by the way. Sometimes after we argue my emotions feel so intense, that cutting myself or hurting myself relives someof those negative emotions...and I guess some of them are anxiety after arguing, as well as frustration. I have not hurt myself in a while now...sometimes it takes a lot of restraint not to hurt myself...I don't want to do it, and I have for the most part stopped banging my head...I don't need to give myself a concussion or brain damage or something.
But thank you for responding...I know that I am not alone with the disorder as well as I am not alone with some of the behaviours and feelings that go along with it.[^]

[thundersquall]

Hi I definetly understand what Darkangel is saying I have sometimes got to the point of feeling really anxious and having a very very unwelcoming almost unbearable panic attack. I too have given into temptation and have cutted on a number of occasions (on and off since last may) usually on my arms i now regret this because when I have thought about it later i think to myself oh brilliant i have a reminder of that panic attack and that one and that one so I decided, ok from now on im having a panic attack im going to put on my music as loud as i can (some peope would call it self harm with my sense in music but i dont) but i know why I have done it and have given this reason to both my mum (when she caught me) and my therepist and its simple when i was focusing on the pain i wasnt thinking of the the effects of the panic attacks but as i'v said all the scars are too me after all that pain is a memory of something best left forgotten!!!

[blondeangel]

Thanks again for more of your imput on this. I think for me when I have harmed myelf it was because of a combination of panic and intense emotions....but now I can coorelate it to the panic.
Thanks for being so open on this...I appreciate it so much.[:I]