Dating and social anxiety

[xfilme]

Right, well im a bit of a pain i know, because i suffer from not only social anxiety, but also from intermittent health anxity. I used to suffer from panic disorder but i sorted that one some time back.

I was just wondering how social anxiety affects your personal life in terms of dating?

I have been single pretty much for 8 years now. Its almost like becoming institutionalised as Ive become comfortable in my solitude. I find it hard to talk to people I dont know. Im not very good at making new friends. Ive become so out of touch with dating that its become a worry that it could leave me feeling worse if I were to get involved with someone. Not that I know how to get involved with someone.

Im 32 years old and most of the people around me are either 19-23 year old students, 35 year old men that act like theyre 50, or men of my age who are already involved. I dont know how to break the cycle. To many its simple, but its not so easy when you are afraid of everyone.

How does everyone else deal with incorporating social anxiety into their romantic life?

[DEREKG]

Hmm. I would say, try to be honest with new people when you meet them. Maybe not "hi, i'm whoever. I have social anxiety!" but don't be ashamed to admit to them that you have problems and if they'e worthwhile they won't run a mile. Sorry, I'm not sure if that helps any....

[StoneMonkey]

Hi xfilme.Tricky one either finding someone with similar issues or someone who can accept your limitations.I managed to hide my limitations at the begining of my last relatinship for over a month. By the time it broke she had got to know me enough and it went on to be a very good 9 year relationship. She was ten years younger so age isnt an issue if you are compatible.Dating must mean doing things that you enjoy so perhaps meeting people at an activity that you like.Simon 45 Taurus.

[staypositive]

Agreed with the others Don't despair, I think you'll find if you were honest to poeple about your problems, and your anxiety, just say how hard you find it speaking to people, and building relationships maybe? I'm sure anybody who is seriously interested wouldn't run a mile, infact if somebody told me that it'd make me want to support them more really.

I hope that helps Keep smiling and stuff

Danny

[xfilme]

Im always upfront about my anxiety if asked. I guess the hardest thing I find with social anxiety isnt interacting with people once I get to know them.... its the meeting them. Im terrible with strangers :(

[staypositive]

Meeting new people is always hard, I find the same. It always seems to bring back the familiar thoughts of "I'm not good enough" or "I'm not cool enough to be here"

CBT is really helpful, and if you like reading, can I suggest 'Mind Over Mood' - I've found it really useful, especially with the support of my support worker.

I think I would have a hard job meeting, or going on a date in person now, I wouldn't have been so bad many years ago, but I guess my self confidence is at an all time low which makes it much worse. I struggle very much with intimacy too, purely down to the way I have been brought up, and things which have happened to me in the past.

Danny

[xfilme]

CBT was very helpful with my health anxiety, but with the soail anxiety its alot harder because its a matter of trying to correct my 32 years of negative habit forming.

[jothenurse]

I have panic disorder - how did you sort that one out?

[xfilme]

i researched the nature of panic attacks. figured how it affected the body. then used breathing techniques to correct them before they got out of hand. these days i get probably one panic attack a year x

[bobby0786]

i researched the nature of panic attacks. figured how it affected the body. then used breathing techniques to correct them before they got out of hand. these days i get probably one panic attack a year x

well done, would love to hear about your techniques and try.