Am I ready?

[jaded jean]

Hello all.

I am happy to say I am on day 3 of 99% feeling great , no anxiety-nothing. Get a little random mind chatter but that is pushed aside now. I am on day 45 of cit. I really want to get back to work because I have been left out the loop so to speak. I feel as if I can do it -true I might get a bit overwhelmed but thats about it.I just need some advice . I have not been able to get CBT so I have subscribed to the No Panic site for a 14 week course as I think I need that aside from the tablets as I have read many times on here that they are alone not the cure.
I welcome all suggestions
Jean

[JT69]

Hi Jean,

Glad you are doing well. Firstly I think that you sound like you are ready to go back to work...when I went back I was proabably about 75% better and I managed...I know I am having a terriable time at the moment but again I am managing to go to work cos I just dont want to go off again!!

Secondly what is this CBT and subscribing to NMP site??? Didnt know anything about this...where is it etc?

I am back at the GPs tommorow for a chat about how bad I am feeling etc and see what we can come up with....just want to wake up feeling normal again like I used to once upon a time!!!

Take care
JO.xx

[Jannie2948]

Evening Jean

So glad you feel so much better, day 45 brilliant!! I started having hypnotherapy/ relaxation at the beginning of April. I had to go privately because the NHS waiting list was way too long. I find it really helpful, I was a bit sceptical when I started the hypnotherapy, I thought of TV hypnotherapy and thought I would have no control over myself, but it was nothing like that :-) I just find it very relaxing and I can hear all what she says to me but she just seems to plant things in my sub-conscious that I need how to think about my anxiety/panic. I have about half hour chat with her about all the things that are bothering me and she tries to put everything into perspective and then she focuses on one thing that is really bothering me and relaxes me by my just relaxing and talking to me very gently and then emphasizing on whatever is bothering me that specific time that I have told her about beforehand. It all sounds so very simple but I find it really relaxing and when she "wakes me" I feel so relaxed :-)

I think the chatting to a stranger about my problems is so helpful because they are not there to judge me but there to help me. I have had about 6 sessions, I started off weekly, then went fortnightly and now its once a month cos she thinks I am doing so well. I still have moments but when I talk to her she is very matter of fact, in a nice way, and puts it into perspective.

I would say go for it, you have nothing to lose and it may really get you just that little bit further down the road to recovery. Not that I am saying I am completely "cured" :-) but I am way better than I was. I too think that this web site has been my saviour on many occasions, especially in the beginning when I was so scared I found that coming onto here and reading everyone else that was in the same position really "saved" me at that time.

I hope you get on ok, but if you want to chat, just pm me any time.

All the very best

Jannie x x

[jaded jean]

Hi Jo.
Its the No Panic site. I was getting so ticked off with waiting waiting waiting I thought sod it. Do it yourself Jean so I just logged onto it and found they offered a one hour a day for 14 weeks group telephone sessions for members. It cost £12.00 so Ithought that is nothing if its going to bolster my confidence ant assertiveness.
You are commendable in your going back to work with it telling on you sometimes I admire that . I have my husband and yes he has supported me . held my hand and spoke to me like a father would a child when calming them down. So I want this more than anything but one thing I do want to know.. Will Iget big blips?? the ones thatI have had have been 2weekly for about 5 days at a time.Any thoughts on that on Jo??

JEAN

[JT69]

Hi Jean,

If I am being honest you may get "blips" we all do from time to time but you will be able to cope with them, honest you will. You will probably find that they then become less and less. When I took citalopram (I took it for around 9 years on and off) I tended to be on a 20mg dose then when I had a "blip" I would increase my dose to 30mg and stay on that for a while till stablised again then drop back to 20mg (my GP knew this and was fine with it) I found this helped me when I needed it. Having taken the med for such a long time I was used to it and knew how to adjust my dose etc. Are you still on 20mg?

Some people say dont mess with dosage but I did it because I needed that extra 10mg and it got me through the blip and then I stayed on it for a few months before reducing (slowly) down again.

I think work will really help you and its a step in the right direction for you.

JO.xx

[jaded jean]

hiya Jo.
Before this breakdown I was an absolute arse for taking any medication. I have not had a painkiller for 11 years. this all started when I was put on prozac, I saw it as the be all and end all of any treatment I might need. I gave up alcohol as well. So now it has been a real learning curve. take it or it wont work-thats the philosophy I work with. I find naturalremedies take too long- I a not patient I'm afraid. So yes I am still on 20mg of cit. thought about askingthe doc on friday to up it but as PsychoPoet said you will just wake up one day and you will know it and feel better.And I did. it was a revelation I could not believe I felt like the old Jean- incredible. So I will be prepared for the blips I shall ask my doc about upping the dose but will it work over that period of time. then again it all varies doesnt it.
Jean xx

[JT69]

Hi Jean,

I think if you are coping and can still cope through the "blips" on 20mg then stay on that...you sound like you are doing really well to me. I first suffered in 2009 and have done so on and off since then...I think it will be something I will always suffer with so will have to take meds for the rest of my life and to be honest would really rather do so than go through what i have just gone through.

You'll be fine.

JO.xx

[jaded jean]

my sister -eldest has been on them for a good few years ans she said I f I am on this little tablet that keeps me a little bit sane for the rest of my life I dont mind. I will be doing exactly the same. I have just had a shower and I think the excitement of this all has made me dizzy!!
Jean

[Jannie2948]

Exactly! I will stay on it all the time I feel better, my Dr said I could stay on it as long as I like so at this moment in time that is how I am thinking. You're right such a little tablet and it can make you feel so much better :-)

Jannie x x

[jaded jean]

Jannie.
It speaks for itself!!
Jean