Starting counselling next week. Advice please?

[BunnyMazonas]

I'm still on the waiting list to see someone from the NHS about my issues, but in the meantime my employee has agreed to give me another set of sessions with the wellbeing company they work with - we're allowed up to 6 sessions of counselling each year paid for by work.

I'm going to see the same person I saw last year - she's nice, but I really need to work out what I want to get out of this. Our last set of sessions we weren't able to fix anything, but we were able to determine that the majority of my issues have roots deep in the past,especially since many of my anxiety and crazy tics started when I was a child. In addition, since the sessions we had I've spoken with my family and they have reminded me of things which, when we discussed them, are clearly related to what I'm dealing with now.

Because of this, what we can achieve in six sessions is going to be limited. I find it hard to open up sometimes and there are things I occassionalyl struggle to say - there are things that happened to me that I remember, and am sure are contributing factors, but I can't bring myself to say them out loud.

Although my meds have been upped in dose from 20 to 30mg I am still getting my night time anxiety issues, self harm desires and other problems - they are far less frequent than before but it is all still there. Its like the problems are a big, bubbling boiling pot and the pills put a cap on the pot. A bit of steam still escapes once in a while. The problems are all still there, just dampened down somewhat. I'm scared that if/when I come off the pills it'll be like a cork popping out of a shaken bottle, all the contents exploding out at once.

I want to tell my counsellor everything I've been thinking since our last session, all the things I've remembered and found out since, but I don't know how to do it. I get so scared every time I try it and get a lump in my throat that blocks the words.

I really want to make this work, so that when I get WHATEVER I get from the NHS, I am in a good place to really start fixing myself. I want to get as much out of my next set of sessions as I can. Can anyone who has been through this recommend any tips? Please?

[gypsywomen]

while you have things stored up in your mind its not good let them out ,, i did feel much better they dont judge ,,do they x

[BunnyMazonas]

Hi Gypsywman, thanks for the advice.

The thing is though, I know I need to tell my cousnellor - it's not that, its the actual act of doing it I find so hard. I just wondered how other people feeling the same way managed to get the words out

[andrew]

Hiya,

Just keep on trying, at some point you will sit there feeling totally anxious but get the words out.

Other options, try it on the phone with somebody, write it down and hand it over. Good luck, you''ll be ok .. take care

[BunnyMazonas]

Thank you for the advice, Andrew. It's actually been very helpful! I've managed to write down what I want to say,so if I struggle I can hand the letter over.

I'm really nervous; let theother half read the letter last night and he needed a bit of a sit down after, so it mugh tbe a bit heavy, but it'll be so good to get things out in the open.

[andrew]

You're welcome. It will be good to start getting things out in the open. The anxiety will eventually lessen, but you can do this whilst feeling anxious .. good luck.

[BunnyMazonas]

My first session is tonight, wish me luck! Feeling really jittery about it - silly as Iknow the counsellor from previous sessions and she is lovely, but I am so nervous!

[daydreamer]

Good luck, Im sure you are nervous which is understandable. Just remember that this will help you in the long term and nothing you say to her she wont have heard already so just get it all out in the open! x

[daydreamer]

How did your counselling session go? Hope it went well

[BunnyMazonas]

It went well. Really intense, emotional and left me a wreck the following day, but I am so glad I did it. I was given some "homework" and some reading material. My next session is tonight so I guess I'll see whether I get a good grade!