Anorexia

[LisaS]

hi Karen

hope today went better for you..

I want to say a big well done for having a bath though and washing your hair.. i just had loads of inches off my hair as its always such a pain washing, drying, straightening.. but well done for doing it regardless..

and also well done for last night. even when you were feeling so low, you managed to think of a way forward. I think thats great and really positive.

I hope you get into some clean pjamas tonight then you're all sorted for a while onthe hygiene front!

i really hope today was better at the clinic. Did you manage to get to the supermarket without having a PA? I did notice you'd almost convinced yourself you would have one and not supposed that you might not? this is what you would have said to me!

anyway. well done for finding the strength within.

Lisa
xxx

"do not fear to hope...Each time we smell the autumn's dying scent, we know that primrose time will come again"

[Piglet]

Aww lots of lovely replies there Karen.

[}] Sorry to scare you Nigel [:I] You have such a lovely caring way with you I can't imagine you any different and never miserable. You come out with some marvellous stuff and have really helped me look at things differently, no idea where your wise head has come from.

You know in some ways Karen it's nice to get dead dirty as it much more satisfying to get clean from that state. I used to deliberatly let my kids get really mucky just for the satisfaction of bathing them all clean again.

Ray we have all been there mate and some ways we a being a bit ozone friendly savin on the soap and water etc. Although if we do it too much we may break the ozone layer all on our own with our own unique chemical aromas!

Hope you got on well today Karen - proud of you for trying

Piglet x

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[feege]

Hi karen hon - how did it go? Hope it was ok - look at all the folks rooting for you!!!!

Hope it was ok xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Nigel - I think I do that too - write the way I wish I was.... well, not always - sometimes I do let it all hang out here [:I]


fee
xx

[Piglet]

Aww - that really made me want to do a casualty hug to you.

You too are like Karen, you both have a lovely gentle way of putting things across and saying very sensible things.

It's much much appreciated

Anyway enough of that crap, me and Fee have a lot of letting it all hang out to do

Piglet xx (who is sometimes alot more like Tigger than is desired)

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[SickofIt]

Karen,
Why do you still have that signature up? <standing with hands on hips, tapping foot...>

I wish you would change it.

[feege]

he he piglet - there's never too much tigger!!!

yes nigel absolutely - the way we will be!![8D]

and karen i agree with sick of it about the footnote!! [:P]

xxxxx

fee
xx

[Quirky]

Hi Karen,

So how did it go today? I hope it went well. I bet you're exhausted now.

I've been thinking about you.

I agree with the others about the footnote, can you change it for something more positive?

I hope you sleep better tonight.

Lisa x (who is also letting it all hang out [:O])

[Karen]

Hi Guys

Thanks for all the encouraging messages of support. I braved the supermarket on the way to the clinic so that I only had time to grab the items I needed and them run out again. I did experience panic but had to just get on and do it.

I spent most of the afternoon sitting alone in a room as there were no other patients around after Anna went in for a shaitsu session and though I was supposed to be seeing the nurse today (Annie), she wasn't available.

When Anna came back we had a good talk. I just wish it was as easy to speak to the staff. It seems I am missing out on the sessions which could be most helpful and she also said I'm losing out on session time because the clinic will be claiming a whole day when I attend in the afternoon, as having one meal there counts as one session.

So I've decided to try to change my days and go all day on Mondays and Tuesdays instead. Anna told me there are group discussion sessions on Monday morning and then meditation in the afternoon, followed by creative activities. On Tuesday mornings there are group CBT sessions and then the option shiatsu in the afternoon.

I got into a panic because the meal options tonight were chicken and mushroom pastie, or cheese and onion quiche. Yet again foods that I don't feel able to eat. Anna said to find Annie or another member of staff and talk to someone about how distressed I get about the food options but I was too scared to talk to anyone. In the end Anna went to see if she could find someone but they were all tied up with an emergency elsewhere.

So at teatime I was given the quiche, as this was a slightly better option than the pastie (but only just). They served up a quarter of a quiche and a tiny bit of salad [:O]. There was no way I could eat it. I had a couple of mouthfuls of the quiche and ate the salad and that was it. Then Annie showed up and noted how much food we had eaten.

I was just about to come home at 7.00 when Annie came into the lounge and said she wanted a quick session with both Anna and me. She said she is having to do shifts at the moment and doesn't have the time for personal sessions with us and isn't sure how she is going to work round this.

She asked Anna first how things were going and I just listened as they were talking and then she moved on to me. I clammed up and couldn't speak. In the end Anna said that we'd been chatting and asked if I wanted her to fill Annie in on what's been going on. I said yes but now feel like I've failed again because I am relying on someone else to talk for me.

Annie has now set me homework of preparing a timeline chart from childhood to present day. She also wants me to eat 3 times a day (the other nurse said 6) and to cut back on the laxatives (which I am trying to do already). The worst part though is that she wants me to eat one of the foods I usually binge on every day - so one square of chocolate, or one piece of cheese etc [:O][:O][:O]. I can't even allow myself to have these foods in the flat, let alone eat them when I am trying to remain in control.

Then she asked whether my weight had been checked today and insisted on weighing me, even though I'd had dinner and been drinking loads.

I was due to go again on Monday because I'm not able to go Thursday and I want to start to attend on days when there is actually something happening so I can get the most out of my time there. But Annie talked me into going tomorrow, so now I'm going in the morning.

Now I have a huge dilemma about laxatives because I need to take some tonight but then I'll be ill in the morning. I've already got stomach ache and feel very bloated.


Karen



Nothing tastes as good as thin feels

[Quirky]

Hi Karen,

Great to hear from you. I'm glad it went ok today. Well done for the supermarket too.
It makes sense to change your days to when there will actually be something happening that you will gain something from like the CBT etc, good plan. I'm glad you were able to sort a few things out with Annie, even if it was done as you were leaving. It doesn't matter that Anna spoke for you, you may get more confident talking to Annie as time goes by. Hope that makes sense too many Annies/Annas here! Lol.
Well done for eating some quiche and the salad, this is still progress as you ate some of a food that you're not comfortable with and you are eating in front of people, well done.
I think you need to try and not take the laxatives tonight if possible as you don't want to be ill in the morning. I'm off to bed soon as completely exhausted so I'll say night night and good luck for the morning. Will be thinking of you as always.

Lisa x

[Piglet]

Could you just take a few of the laxatives so you won't be in a predicament in the morning.

I think today went very well and nice that you are able to chat to Anna - so the day livened up a bit from earlier then - you weren't in that room alone much longer??

You know I can already see a start of a positive change in you just from some of the stuff you are questioning and the way you are posting.

I am really proud of the way you have given this a go now. I love seeing that side of you, that little fighter inside. You may not feel like you are but in your gentle little way, you really are.

Lisa love, tuck all your belongings back in now dear - way too late at night to be acting the giddy goat (this was said to me so often as a kid I just want to say it)!!!!!

Piglet xx