Anorexia

[Karen]

Hi Lisa & Piglet

Thanks for the replies.

Piglet - I was along in that room until about 5.00 which is a long time and the luckily Anna came back and I had someone to talk to until dinner which is at 6.00.

I think I need to stop myself taking any laxatives tonight because if I only take a few then the results are not predictable and I don't want to be ill while I'm out, but I can't cope with this bloating either [xx(]. This laxative addiction is one reason it is so difficult to get to morning appointments.

I don't feel I am being very positive but I am trying to find ways of getting the most out of my sessions there. At the moment I feel I am just wasting time because I'm not getting any structured help. Anna said nothing much happens on Wednesdays there, so I'm not sure what tomorrow will achieve but it means spending a few hours away from home I guess. I think I am just going for the morning.

Hopefully next week will be better when I can join the CBT and other groups. Being in group therapy sessions terrifies me but I also think the CBT is the way forward and there are no individuals sessions on offer at present. I feel I have an ally in Anna and can talk to her and so feel safer knowing she is part of the group.


Karen



Nothing tastes as good as thin feels

[Quirky]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">
Lisa love, tuck all your belongings back in now dear - way too late at night to be acting the giddy goat (this was said to me so often as a kid I just want to say it)!!!!!
<div align="right">Originally posted by Piglet - 07 February 2006 : 22:06:51</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Lol Piglet. Ok all tucked in Giddy goat? Never heard that one before!

Karen,

You are being alot more positive than you realise, well done.

I'm glad you can talk to Anna there, I'm sure she will also see what a great person you are

Night all,

Lisa x

[feege]

Hi Karen

I think you are doing incredibly well! This was a huge step for you to take, even being there, let alone eating a bit of quiche[Wow!] and coming home and thinking clearly and sensibly about how best to tackle the laxatives. It is a tricky one but it sounds like trying to take just a small dose would be best...

It sounds like the plan for next week will be loads more helpful. But you really didn't think you would get this far a couple of weeks ago and its a HUGE achievement! You really are trying to get better and if you stick with it, knowing there will be blips, you will get there!

WELL DONE!

BIG HUGS

Aunty Fee xxxxxxxxxxxx

fee
xx

[Karen]

Thank you Aunty Fee! and Lisa (little sis!).

I am not happy about the quiche to be honest even though Anna tried her best to convince me I had only had 200 calories max. It is still food that I wouldn't choose to eat and I don't think it is that healthy, especially with the cheese [Ugh].

Tomorrow lunch I think is even worse although I can't remember exactly what the menu was now. I didn't pay much attention at the time because I wasn't due to be there. I think it was lamb with some kind of sauce and couscous. I don't eat lamb (didn't even before the anorexia) and don't like sauces. Or the other choice was jacket potato with cheese or tune. Cheese is one of my binge foods so I don't want to eat that and I don't like tuna[Sigh...]. So lunch is going to be a struggle I think.

At the moment I feel like I am going there purely to be fed and then sent home again. Hopefully next week will be better. I keep being given different messages though because Annie told me not to worry about using up my sessions, but the nurse I saw last week told me to spread the session out more. It's difficult to know what to do for the best.

Getting to sleep at a reasonable time is going to be a challenge tonight too.


Karen



Nothing tastes as good as thin feels

[Quirky]

Hi Big sis,

I know you worry about cheese but in moderation it's a great source of protein. The jacket potato seems a good option, you could eat the potato and a small bit of the cheese maybe.
You may want to clarify about using up the sessions with the nurse at the clinic again, they should know what's what.
I hope tomorrow goes well. Off to bed myself now as I also have to be in bed earlier. I could quite happily stay up late some nights and sleep until lunchtime, but work gets in the way of that! Lol.

Night, sleep well.

Lisa (little sis) x

[Karen]

Hi Lisa

I know they will expect me to have either the cheese or the tuna with the potato tomorrow and I don't really have any choice because I really do not like tuna.

It's not only that I think cheese is fattening that is causing me to feel freaked out by this, but also because I binge on cheese and I am scared that eating it will start me off again.

Finding out information about funding is like getting blood out of a stone! Annie just says not to worry about it but then if I only have 10 sessions (4 of which will already by used counting tomorrow), I can't keep adding extra days here and there when there is nothing specific planned or I am not making the best use of these sessions.

Guess I am lucky that I don't have to be up early most days, particularly as I haven't managed to get to bed any earlier tonight and now will be so tired tomorrow. I have an early appointment Thursday morning too.

I didn't take any laxatives tonight but am already regretting this decision. I'm going to be so bloated and uncomfortable tomorrow.

Night little sis!

Karen x

[Karen]

Don't know how I managed to get up this morning but I am so tired I could go back to sleep [|)].

I'm supposed to be eating breakfast every morning but I don't know how I am meant to eat this early in the day, or so soon after waking. And I am still worrying about lunch today too [Sigh...].

I have just got dressed in the baggiest clothes I have because I feel so bloated and fat, probably the effects from what I ate yesterday and also not taking any laxatives last night.

Think it is going to be a long day...

Karen



Nothing tastes as good as thin feels

[Piglet]

Oh you clever thing not taking the laxatives last night - really well done you

Text me again this afternoon if you get bored or are left alone again.

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Karen]

Thanks Piglet I will.

I might not stay for the afternoon, depending on what it going on and if I do stay I will probably leave around 4ish. I don't want to get dragged into eating tea there too!



Karen



Nothing tastes as good as thin feels

[Karen]

Thanks Nigel.

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I was just leaving for work when I read that you're attending the clinic again today. So I thought I'd better send you a quick good luck message before I left in case you didn't get chance to read it if I waited until I got to work.<div align="right">Originally posted by Nigel - 08 February 2006 : 08:58:03</div id="right">
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I'm just about to leave too! Have a good day at work. .

Karen



Nothing tastes as good as thin feels