Night time phobia

[Samantha]

I dont quite no how to describe this, im not scared of the dark as such but scared of what is lurking in the dark, i dont mean monsters but people, like burglars and murderers, etc. I find the dark extremely intimidating because i cant control what is happening and i dont know what it could be hiding. I find that what i can do when im at home on my own and it begins to get dark very limited as i become extremely jumpy and try to stay in one room. The slightest noise or creak sends my imagionation into overtime. I find it difficult to walk outside of my house on my own when its dark even if theres someone in the kitchen, i find myself running back in. I find that when i walk into a room to turn the lights on and shut the curtains my heart begins to race and i fear the worse, looking around to see if anyone is there. I find this doesnt help when i am trying to sleep , and although we are looking to move i am finding myself deciding whether the ones we look at will be 'safe' by judging if they are close to roads etc. I feel really uncomfortable at night and find that when i am on my own i begin shivering, fast heart beat and everytime i hear a car door i am going to the windows. Does anyone else feel like this at times?

Sam

Positive thinking is the key to success!

[nomorepanic]

Sam

When did this start? Did anything ever happen to cause this fear of the dark?

Nicola

[twister]

Hi Sam

I get this a bit. It depends on my mood, but sometimes when alone I am convinced there's someone in the house etc. I just turn the light on for a minute, tell myself I am being silly and then try and get on with sleeping.

When I was younger I used to obsessively check under the bed and sometimes when anxious have still been known to do it!

Emily

[Lottie32]

Hi Sam

I think this is quite common.

When i am coming home alone, I always leave lights on around the house. If i am feeling particularly jumpy, I leave the doors to each room open, and check inside each room before shutting the door and going to bed.

When I'm walking home alone from the pub, I often end up in the middle of the road - I live in a village, and there are lots of bushes and trees along the side of the road. It's quite ironic, cos I'm sure I'm much more at danger from being run over by some drunk on the way home from the pub (I always wear black to go out in too), than I am from being attacked by an invisible "thing" in Mr Whettons hedge.

Still the mind is very good at playing tricks. When you are like this try doing a "saturated" relaxation session - tapes/cd's, lavender oil, a bath, candles, what ever it is that makes you feel better. The more you can manage to "unwind" the easier it will become.


Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[Samantha]

Hi everyone thanks for replying, sorry this late but its the first chance ive had

Nic-i can remember being like this since i was 10 i remember being at a guide camp n we were talking about the dark, i said, 'im not afraid of the dark but wot could be in it like burglars' course i didnt no wot else there could b at that age. I dont nop y it started i suppose it might have something to do with the fact that my bro use to hide wen it was dark behind trees n stuff n jump out of me wen i walked past, making me feel like i woz going to have a heart attack. I still dont like it wen ppl creep up on me

Emily-yeah i get that when im sleeping it just comes into my head, i shake my head and tell myself that its ridiculus but somewhere inside im still telling meself that just mayb it could happen

Charlie-wot r 'saturated relaxation cd/tape' id have a hard battle trying to get me mum use candles...lol im slightly clumsy, will try having a long soak.

Thanks for your replies, very much appreciated

Sam

Positive thinking is the key to success!

[Lottie32]

Sam

I just mean doing lots of things to relax you all at the same time - listening to a relaxation cd, whilst having a lavendar oil bath with loads of lit candles!

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[kate]

Hiya Sam,

I too worry about burglars, even though I am not scared of the dark as such.

I think it might be because once you are asleep, something might happen which you can't do anything about.

I just try to tell myself that I have worried about it every night for ages and nothing has ever happened.

I'm sure that lots of "non panickers" worry about the same thing happening and that it is in fact a common fear.

Just try your best to tell yourself that all will be well and keep repeating that fact to yourself.

Take care

Kate x

[Samantha]

Thankyou Lottie, i think its worth a try as a big problem of mine is that i cant relax, normally when i finally do something happens or goes wrong.

Kate i agree about worrying that something might happen once asleep, i suppose in a way im stopping myself going to sleep for this reason finally getting to sleep in the early hours of the morning, and as i wonderful brother pointed out i 'look as though i have two black eyes'-arent brothers wonderful lol. By writing out how i feel about this i feel as though a weight has bheen lifted off my mind, i cant explain it i suppose i just thought i was being stupid i suppose.

Thankyou all for replying

Sam

Positive thinking is the key to success!

[Lottie32]

Dear Sam

Being frightened, especially at night is not stupid. Many of us who suffer from heightened feelings, especially at night. For some of us, coping in the day is easy, but coping at night time is particularly difficult.

Being scared in the dark is quite natural - your sight is limited, and you have to rely on your hearing and sense of smell to be aware of what is going on around you.

Often, particularly with people with vivid imaginations, our sense of hearing triggers all sorts of images, which grow out of all proportion, particularly when they haven't got visual stimuls to back the sounds up.

I remember one week being home alone. My mum and dad were away on holiday. I set the burglar alarm, thinking, well I feel safer knowing I can go to bed with the alarm set. If anybody breaks in, the alarm will go off, and the neighbours will come running. The, in the middle of the night, the alarm did go off. I became terribly anxious, imagining that somebody was in the house - but where. I crept downstairs, got a carving knife from the kitchen, and made my way back upstairs, checking all the rooms on the way. Obviously, nobody was there, as the alarm had been triggered by a moth, which had flown in through the open window.

I went back to bed, with the carving knife on my bedside table. I had nearly dropped off again, when I had a sudden image of stabbing myself in the night, whilst having a dream about fending off burglars. So I got out of bed, and put the knife under my dressing gown on the landing outside my bedroom door. That way, I couldn't accidentally stab myself, and if the burglar (who was really a moth) got back into the house, I had a weapon handy to defend myself!

At home alone in the day light hours, I am absolutely fine. In the summer, I can sit outside alone till it gets dark and am quite happy in the twilight.

The dark plays havoc with my vivid imagination though, and once I think I've heard something, I go into overdrive. It's very hard to control and calm myself down, and I usually end up having a disturbed nights sleep

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[kate]

Charlie,

Although your story made me have a chuckle, it is all too real in the middle of the night isn't it?

I have sometimes woken in the early hours and thought "oh no! What has woken me up?? Must be a burglar" and so on.

Much easier to think rationally in the daylight hours but nightime is a different matter!!

Kate x